


Accident

by Steveuschrist



Category: Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Breaking and Entering, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, Bruce Wayne has emotions, Canon Compliant, Dark John Doe, Darker than usual at least, Destruction, Detective Work, Dorks in Love, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, Dubious Science, Dw fellas it's all good, Fear, First Kiss, Government Conspiracy, Government Experimentation, Guilt, Happy Ending, He really really loves Bruce, He's not a robot ok, Human Biology, Human Experimentation, I don't blame him tbh, Idea for Season 3, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Investigations, It was out of love, John gets a bit sexual, John's mind bounces back and forth, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Medical Experimentation, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Sex, Might be OOC, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not letting go, Not like my other stories rip, Obsessive Behavior, Plot, Post-Episode 5, Probably very OOC, Protectiveness, Reunion kind of, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection, The Enemy Within, The Plot Thickens, They're both kinda messed up, Tiffany is kinda a dick, Unethical Experimentation, Vigilante Path, eating problems, grab the popcorn, he means well, still gotta tag it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-05-01 00:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14508078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steveuschrist/pseuds/Steveuschrist
Summary: Bruce gets a real visit with John after his accident.





	1. Chapter 1

Accident.

That’s really all Bruce heard over the phone.

He’d picked it up as soon as it rang. He’d grown jumpier every day.

Every day since Ace.

It had been a few weeks since that horrible night. 10 weeks exactly. Bruce had kept track.

“Hello?” His heart thudded in his chest. Some part of him hoped John would be on the other end.

“Bruce? It’s Doctor Leland.” She didn’t need to say anything else. Bruce visited John once a week, and he and Leland had grown closer. She encouraged Bruce to come, but not too often. She didn’t want John to become dependent on Bruce.

“Oh, Joan.” He swallowed thickly, realizing her voice had sounded off. “Is.. what happened?”

“He had an accident.”

Bruce forgot how to breathe. When he said nothing, she continued, much gentler. “He… he somehow snuck something into his room. When they found him he was… he was talking about you.”

Bruce had a million questions. They all came to him at once, and he managed to get one out. “What did Crane do?”

Crane. Jonathan Crane. He had essentially popped out of nowhere a few days after Ace. He oversaw things at Arkham, and had taken up John’s case all on his own. Leland had been demoted after John was brought back to Arkham. She was no longer his primary doctor.

Bruce hated Crane.

He didn’t let Bruce see John for the entire first month of John being in Arkham, and had told Bruce multiple times that it wasn’t worth it for him to make the trip out to Arkham. He told Bruce that John was never getting out.

Bruce wanted to punch his face in.

But he’d given up Batman. Nights spent out fighting crime had turned into night spent in fighting himself.

“John’s in… confinement.” Leland answered finally.

“I want to see him.”

“As much as I wish I could tell you that you can, he’s under lock and key. No bribing, Bruce. He could hurt you. You know that.”

Bruce sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Fine. No contact. I just… want to make sure he’s whole.”

Leland was silent for a few seconds. “I… I can agree to that. You know Crane. He only comes around for a few hours each day. He teaches at the university. He left for a class just a few minutes ago.”

“Poor kids.”

***

Doctor Leland led Bruce down a hall unfamiliar to him. They went down a flight of stairs. It was dark and musty. They were keeping John down here?

They came to a door and Leland swiped her card against the scanner. Bruce followed her in. They entered a room that Bruce felt somewhat familiar with. It was like down at the GCPD. There was glass on the wall- a one-way mirror- and Bruce’s heart jumped.

The other room was dimly lit, and was all white. That made the head of green hair stand out easily. He was facing away from the glass, head bowed, sitting in the corner on the floor. Bruce wanted to hug him, to hold him, to tell him how much he loved him.

John wanted to forget Joker. He wanted to bury him, he wanted to push him out. Destroy him. They established that the first time they saw each other after Ace.

_“Bruce.. That thing at Ace.. That wasn't me.. It was someone else. A monster.”_

_“I know. It wasn’t you.”_

_“I want… I want him gone forever. He’s evil! He’s not me!”_

Bruce believed him. Joker wasn’t John. John wasn’t Joker.

Bruce couldn’t help but put his hand against the glass. This was his fault. He made Joker come out in the first place. If he’d been better, maybe kept John a bit further away, he could’ve stopped Joker from being released.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he saw John lift his head. He got up slowly, and Bruce saw he was wearing a straitjacket. Then, he spoke.

“Bruce… _darling_.”

Bruce froze. John spoke softly, with happiness in his voice.

John turned and slowly walked right up to the glass. He looked up and down, and even though Bruce knew he couldn’t see him, he still shuddered.

“Bruce… honey..” John looked up, and their eyes met- at least, Bruce’s met his. “You came all this way for me.. For poor old John Doe…”

He came impossibly close. Bruce felt like he could reach out and touch him.

“I have a secret, Bruce.” He grinned. He looked side-to-side, as if looking for someone who might be listening in. “It’s big. Huge, even!”

Bruce stared at him. John gave him a wink. “I’m in love.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows. Was he too late? Had Joker taken control again?

“Now, now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Are you in love with me, John?’” John giggled at his impression of Bruce. “Of course I am, dummy! Who the heck else would I be in love with?”

Bruce felt himself flush. No way. This was a dream. John couldn’t love him. He put him in Arkham. Brought out a monster inside of him.

He grinned. “Now, Bruce, love of my life, you may not love me back. And I completely understand!” His grin disappeared for something much darker. “But you WILL. We’re MEANT for each other. Two threads in the same stitch! Bound together, even under strain!”

Bruce found himself nodding slightly to John’s words. He was right. They were meant to be together. John was the only person who ever made him truly happy. He was witty. Smart. Sharp. The guy you wanted when your back was against the wall.

Suddenly, John pressed against the glass again. He licked his lips, looking Bruce up and down. “Bruce… oh, if only this wall wasn’t separating us.. I would let you do all sorts of things to me.”

Bruce flushed.

“Anything you wanted..” John purred, blinking at him slowly. “I’m sure a guy like you knows how to make a guy like me scream…” Bruce stepped back from the glass. It was too much.

John shook his head, frowning slightly. “Sorry, buddy! It’s just.. I can’t wait to hug you… to kiss you… to feel you in-”

Bruce cleared his throat. He didn’t need John to finish that statement.

John winked. “When Joker is gone.. When I’m out of here… When I’m no longer sick.. We will be together, Bruce. But for now…” He sighed and stepped back, looking around the cell. “For now, I’m in here. And you’re out there.”

“You will get out.” Bruce stated, knowing he couldn’t hear him.

“You better get him outta here, Doc.” John said, looking over to where Leland was in the corner. John must’ve had some sixth sense unknown to man. “If Crane drops by to check on his favorite patient.. You know how it’ll end if he knows Bruce was here.”

Before they left, Bruce gave John one last look. The green-haired man grinned and blew Bruce a kiss, minus the hand motion.

He would get out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce gets a real visit with John after his accident.

Bruce didn’t know what to expect when he entered that room. He had no idea what would await him on the other side.

A handful of weeks after John’s accident, Bruce was allowed to see him again. John had no other outbursts, and didn’t even really talk about what happened.

Bruce adjusted his shirt for what felt like the millionth time. He was with an orderly, right outside John’s cell.

“Visitor for John Doe.”

There was silence. No movement.

The orderly cleared his throat and tried again. “Visitor for John Doe.”

Bruce’s shoulders fell. Maybe John didn’t want to see him. Maybe this was a big mistake.

The orderly rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed. “Doe, Bru-”

There was a loud thud from behind the door, and both the orderly and Bruce were startled. The food slot opened after a moment, and Bruce could see those bright green eyes staring up at him. “ _Bruce_.”

Bruce cleared his throat as the orderly began to unlock John’s cell. “John.”

Bruce stepped into the cell and instantly John was in his arms, snuggling against him. “Oh, Bruce! We have so MUCH to talk about!”

Bruce rested his arms at John’s waist, taking in everything. He heard the door shut behind them, and John pulled away. His grin was warm, nothing too out of the ordinary. Bruce did notice his arms, though. They were bandaged up. The accident.

John took his hand and led him to the bed. He plopped down and motioned for Bruce to do the same. Bruce sat next to him, but he was very cautious. John already was acting out of the ordinary. Acting like nothing happened.

“We do. We have a lot to catch up on.” Bruce sighed. “But we need to cover what happened. They… explained it to me...but I want to hear it from you.”

John’s grin suddenly turned dark, and Bruce froze, wondering if he’d pushed a button. John inched closer to him on the bed. “Remember what I told you… when they had me locked up?”

Bruce could only nod. Right, John confessed to him, and hell, Bruce had basically confessed back.

“Well.. my little… ‘accident’ happened because I realized just that. That we’re meant to be together.” He raised his hand and traced Bruce’s jaw lovingly. He did love him. He always loved him. Bruce was perfect. He was meant for John. John pressed closer, and Bruce found himself unable to move away. “No one understands what we have, Bruce… no one understands our connection. Our love.”

John traced Bruce’s bottom lip with his thumb absentmindedly. “Bruce… my love… my.. _darling_ …” And then John was kissing him, kissing those lips he’d wanted to kiss for years.

Bruce was entirely still, but after a moment he dared to kiss John back. It felt so right. It was right. They were always meant to be together.

Then, Bruce was brought back to reality. He pulled away and put his hand on one of John’s shoulders, holding him back. “John, wait.”

John blinked at him. “What’s wrong? Is… is my kissing really that bad?”

“No, no. Just…” Bruce sighed. “John. We’re in your cell in Arkham. There’s a camera right over there.”

John sighed, but he leaned forward, cuddling against Bruce. “No one watches the feed. I used to think so, but if they did they don’t anymore.”

“You still didn’t really tell me your perspective on what happened.”

John huffed and sat up. “Look, I came to the realization that we’re meant to be together. Once Joker is gone and I’m out… we can be together.” He went back to tracing Bruce’s jaw. That thing could cut him in half.

“And… and no one gets that. The people here definitely don’t. I just… I had to show them how much you mean to me. How much I love you.”

Bruce let out a breath. “John… you… you hurt yourself. I would never ask you to do that.”

“Which is why I didn’t ask you about it first!” John grinned. “People need to understand that I’ll do anything for you, Bruce!”

Bruce sat up. He did love John, and he knew he was trying, but this wasn’t ok. “You… you took a knife and…” He swallowed. It was too hard to say it. He couldn’t.

“I had to write your name so that people would know that I belong to you!” John insisted. Bruce got chills. The image of John, holding a knife, and carving his name into his arms was terrifying. John thinking that it was fine was terrifying.

“I know..” Bruce sighed, looking at John’s bandaged arms. “I know you love me. And I love you too, but there are other ways to show it. You want to get out, don’t you?” John nodded.

“Then you need to keep taking your meds. And you need to talk about your impulses, but you can’t act upon them.” He frowned. “When I got the call.. I was really scared. All I could think about was if you were hurt, and how it would set back your recovery.”

John looked down. “I’m sorry… I just… it’s so infuriating! People don’t understand us! I don’t know how else to express how I feel about you without you being there!”

Bruce tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“Well when I’m alone I can’t exactly go down on you…” John rubbed the back of his neck, only slightly embarrassed. Bruce felt his face heat up.

“John..”

“It’s true! Bruce, there are a LOT of ideas I have in this head of mine.” John pressed against him. “Now, can we continue our kiss?”

Bruce sighed. “I don’t... I feel like I’m taking advantage of you again.”

John huffed. “You’re not! You have my consent and everything!”

“You’re not doing very well. You should be resting and focusing on recovery, not thinking about me.” He sighed. “I failed you, John. I should’ve been honest with you. I shouldn’t have used you. I should’ve put you down a different path.”

John put a finger over Bruce’s lips. “Shush. All behind us. You use me to protect yourself, I murder a few people in cold blood. People make mistakes. I’m done with making mistakes, Bruce. Letting you go is a terrible mistake, and I refuse to do it. I don’t care what I have to do. We will be together.” He slid the finger at Bruce’s lips downward, pushing lightly on his chest with his hand as he leaned closer. “We will be together, Bruce. You’re my other half. My love.”

He kissed him again, with more force. He was really trying to get his point across, to get Bruce to understand. John crawled into Bruce’s lap and cupped his face with his hands. Bruce pushed back against him lightly, not wanting to hurt him.

John pulled back. “Bruce! This is not how you treat a lady! You’re.. You didn’t use all your energy on someone else, did you?”

“What?” Bruce shook his head, trying to clear it. “No, no, I didn’t. It’s just like I said. This is.. I can’t. Not here. Not now.”

John’s shoulders slumped. Right. How could he be so dumb? He had to make sure Bruce was comfortable. Bruce deserved the best treatment. “I’m sorry.” He leaned forward again, this time to settle his weight against Bruce’s. “I’m just really eager. And really in love with you.”

“It’s… it’s ok.” Bruce rubbed John’s back through the thin Arkham uniform. “Can you.. Promise me a few things?” John looked up at him expectantly

“I know this is a lot to ask but... hurting yourself isn’t a good way to prove that you love me. It’s nothing I’d ever want you to do. So, if you ever get the impulse… can you think of this moment?”

John nodded. He would. He swore he would. Bruce was right, there were other things he could do to show his love.

“Please keep taking your meds. I know… I know this place is Hell. I know you just want to be out. If you take them, you’ll help with recovery. You’ll get out faster.”

“And then we can be together?” John cut in, eyes bright.

“When you get out… yeah. You can live with me.” Bruce gave him a small smile, and John giggled. “Now, can you promise you’ll do those things for me?”

John held up his pinkie finger and Bruce locked it with his own. John snuggled against him, humming. He was determined to get better. To be better for Bruce.

John felt his eyelids get heavy. He wasn’t sure if it was from the interaction, or from meds, or just from living in Arkham, but he knew he was sleepy.

Bruce realized John had fallen asleep once he went completely quiet and his breathing and heart rate became stable. Bruce sighed softly, positioning himself in a better way until he was lying down on John’s bed. He was far too alert to fall asleep himself, but it was nice to let his mind wander. While he lay there, he realized John was mumbling in his sleep. It was mostly too jumbled to make out, but Bruce heard a few words quite clearly.

“Bruce… darling…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really wasn't sure if I was going to continue this, and this may be the final chapter unless I get an idea for some really juicy plot or something.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a month since their visit after the accident. John was going strong, super strong. He even got privileges to walk around Arkham’s gardens with Bruce when he visited.

The only real issue was that John was slower. He was still heavily medicated, and was gradually waned off of them, but he was still slow.

He wasn't John.

This is exactly what Bruce was thinking as he and John walked together, John's body pressed against him. But Bruce knew it was for the best. John had to get better. If he wasn't entirely like himself for a few months, then it was worth it.

“What's wrong?”

Bruce blinked and looked over at John, who was looking at him with curiosity in his eyes.

“I…” Bruce couldn't lie, and he didn't want to. They were past that. “Nothing's wrong, at least, I don't think so. I'm just thinking about you. All the medications you're on.”

John brought Bruce’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “I know I'm different now. It's just the side effects. My brain has to rewire itself. It sucks, yeah. But if I get to see you every week and one day be back in the world…”

He brought his hands up to cup Bruce’s cheeks, green eyes staring into the light blue that John loved with all his heart. “Not being as animated is worth it. It's so worth it.”

Bruce pressed a soft kiss to John’s lips before he pulled him close, burying his nose in John’s hair. Even after weeks of washing it with Arkham’s bland shampoo, he still could smell John’s scent. A bit flowery with some mint hidden in there.

The scar on John’s hand was healing extremely well, as were the scars from the accident. He no longer had stitches in his hand, just a bandage for the last few weeks of healing. The scars from the accident weren't nearly as deep, and they were almost entirely faded.

Bruce pulled away from the hug, only to give John another kiss. They were going to be fine. John was doing so well.

The two of them stood there, smiling against each other’s lips as they kissed, until someone cleared their throat a few feet away from them.

Bruce pulled back slowly, his stomach dropping when he saw who it was.

Crane.

“John. It's time for your session.” He smiled pleasantly at them, but Bruce knew it was all an act.

“Oh.” John swallowed thickly. “I'll be up in a minute.”

“You know where to find me.”

Crane walked off, slower than Bruce wanted him to.

“I… didn't know you had a session today.” Bruce said softly, and John frowned.

“I didn't either.. it must be something big.”

“He's cutting into our time on purpose and you know it.” Bruce replied. He took John’s hands and squeezed them, then kissed his forehead. “But… you have to go.”

John looked down at their hands for a moment before wrapping his arms around Bruce’s shoulders and snuggling against him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Be safe.”

***

Bruce tilted his head at the response he received from the woman behind the desk. “I… what?”

“Mr. Doe isn't seeing visitors at this time.” She repeated. “He’s asked that no one be let in to see him.”

Bruce stared at her, then his look of worry turned into the old Wayne charm. He looked at her name tag.

“Listen-”

She held up her hand. “Sorry, Mr. Wayne. Trust me, I’d let you in if I could. But he explicitly asked that no one be allowed to visit.”

Bruce felt defeated, but he gave her a quick nod before leaving the building. He got into his car, unable to think straight.

John didn't want to see him anymore. Maybe John never wanted to see him again.

Bruce rubbed his temples. He had been so sure that John was doing well.

No, he was still doing well. He was well enough to figure out that Bruce was a bad influence, a bad person.

It was bound to happen eventually. John had every reason to hate Bruce. He used him, manipulated him, and threw him in Arkham when it was all said and done.

Bruce sat in his car for a few minutes. He felt closed in, like the world was falling apart around him.

Falling in love was a bad idea, Bruce knew that, but he hoped that somehow it would work with John. They’d somehow make it out in the end.

He was wrong. So wrong.

***

Bruce didn’t feel hungry. He’d gotten better at eating more in the past few weeks, but he had no appetite. He felt sick, and he wasn’t sure he could keep down anything if he tried.

Alfred took one look at his son and instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t the slight bit interested in eating. He wasn’t even poking his food.

Bruce usually maintained a neutral facial expression, even in the darkest of times, but now he just looked pale, like he was in shock.

“Bruce…” Alfred gave a soft sigh. “Did… did something happen with John again?”

Bruce stood from his seat and pushed his plate back. He move towards the entrance to the kitchen. “I’m not hungry.”

Alfred had heard that one many times when Bruce was a teenager.

“Bruce Wayne.” Alfred crossed his arms and put on a slightly harsher tone, causing Bruce to stop his movements. “What is wrong?”

Bruce was silent for another moment. “He… he doesn't want to see me. That's all.”

Alfred pondered over a response. “You can't blame yourself, Bruce. He's going through recovery.”

“I know.” Bruce replied sharply, then he sighed softly. “I know.. it was only a matter of time. I'm sure he's finally figured out that he doesn't want to be my friend. It makes sense.”

Alfred went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You have to accept what will happen. I know you've never been very good at that, but you have to. If John doesn't want to see you, then he doesn't want to see you.”

“I’m worried about him. About what they're doing to him.”

Bruce pulled away, anger washing over him. “God, I shouldn't have let them throw him back in Arkham! I knew- I know- it's a terrible place!”

“They didn't have any other options open besides prison, Bruce.”

“Arkham _is_ prison. Arkham is Hell.”

“Your sense of duty-”

“My sense of duty is wrong!” Bruce cut in, looking at Alfred. “Joker was right. I hide behind justice, cling to it. I told myself that using John was for justice, for the good of everyone. I told myself that trying to shape him was the right thing, and now..! I brought out something in him and he's paying the price! If I had been better and prevented Joker from ever coming out, then he wouldn't have gone after Waller.”

The two men were silent before Bruce shook his head. “I have to go.”

This time, Alfred didn't stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this one is really short! I just wanted to get it out there because I haven't posted in a while, and I found a good way to end the chapter. Hopefully the next one will be longer! I'm making up a lot of this as I go because I didn't think I'd go farther than just one chapter. I have the plot for the next chapter mostly worked out, but I'll have to figure out where to go from there. Thanks so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks after Bruce was stopped from seeing John. He tried to see him every day after that. He was always stopped by the person at the front, telling him he couldn't see John.

Part of Bruce wanted to put the cowl back on. To break into Arkham. To save John.

But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't go back to it.

Bruce tried to get into normal sleeping habits. He had managed some sort of a schedule, where he was at least sleeping four to five hours every night. Sleeping medication helped him calm down and stop thinking long enough to fall asleep.

Now the habits were off. He'd take forever to fall asleep, but when he did, he slept hard. On days where he didn't have to go in to work he would get at least 12 hours of sleep, more if he didn't get up when Alfred came into his room.

He still felt drained. He was jittery but exhausted. Tired but alert.

So he was a bit surprised when he woke up around 4 AM to the sound of his phone going off. He blindly reached for it and answered, rolling onto his back. “Wayne.”

“Bruce. I'm so sorry to call in the middle of the night.” Bruce knew that voice.

“Dr. Leland..?”

“I don't have a lot of time. It's about John.”

Bruce sat up, a million questions hitting him. “Tell me.”

“I'll explain as best as I can. In Arkham, patient sessions can sometimes be recorded. The sessions that aren't just talking to a doctor in a room. The ones that involve drugs.”

Bruce blinked. “I don't-”

“Room 333. Third floor in Arkham. Everything is there, Bruce, I'm sure of it.”

“Room… 333?”

“You have resources. Get in there, find everything you can on John, and get out.”

“Where is he? Is he ok?”

The other end of the line was silent for a moment. Leland spoke again before hanging up.

“He needs you.”

***

Bruce stood at the front desk of Arkham. He felt like someone was sitting on his chest, like he couldn’t breathe.

After Leland called he wasn’t able to sleep at all. He seriously considered putting on his suit to go out and break into Arkham, but he had stopped after he reached his bedroom door.

He had a promise to keep. He had broken so many already.

He had stared at his ceiling, trying to calm himself down. John was in danger. He needed to keep his own head level.

Bruce looked at the person working the front desk, already bracing for rejection. They looked him over and after a few clicks on their computer, they simply shook their head.

Now Bruce had to slip down the hallway unnoticed. He had to reach the elevator to get to the third floor. He couldn’t cause a scene. He needed an indirect distraction to lure the people away from the front desk.

He took a few steps towards the wall opposite the front desk, able to see clearly down the hall to the elevator. He slipped his phone out of his pocket. He could possibly hack into a portion of the building’s sprinkler system, or even temporary disable the electricity in the front of the building. Harmless distractions to get the people away from the front desk so he could slip down the hall.

Arkham’s system wasn’t exactly top of the line, so getting into it was easy. Bruce was able to access the power in Arkham’s lobby. After a few taps the lobby went dark, and Bruce slid his phone back into his pocket. The outage didn’t reach very far, but it was enough for him to make his way down the hall. The staff at the front of the building began to move about in panic, as they were clearly trying to figure out where the outage stopped and started.

Bruce reached the elevator, luckily meeting no staff along the way. He bypassed the need for an elevator keycard and stepped inside. The outage would cause any staff that wasn’t busy to be downstairs, lessening the chance of someone finding Bruce.

He stepped out of the elevator once it reached the third floor and made his way down the hall, looking at room numbers as he went. He ducked down a smaller hall, and there it was.

Room 333.

Another keycard would be needed, but Bruce hacked into the lock and opened it. He was seriously glad he didn’t have to break it down, but if he had to he would have.

Bruce gently shut the door behind him and made his way to the desk in the corner, which had a computer sitting on it. It was new. Well, now he knew where his money was actually going.

At first, Bruce figured it would’ve just been easier for Leland to give him her login information, but after he got through to the system, he was glad she didn’t. The first thing that popped up was a log of usernames and times, clearly a system to keep track of who looked at whose files when. Luckily, Bruce was entirely off the grid.

He searched up John’s name and held his breath. John was in trouble. He wasn’t safe.

Bruce looked over the file, sighing softly. There were lengthy details on Joker, of course, but above them was an even longer description of John and his relationship with Bruce. The first paragraph was from before John got out, when signs of obsession began to show as soon as Bruce came back to Gotham. The next few were about Bruce going undercover to work with The Pact and working with John. All public knowledge.

There was one about how, for at least a short time, Batman and Joker worked together, until Joker snapped and Batman brought him down. After everything went down, the media approached Bruce, knowing he and John had been friends. Bruce declined to comment on anything.

Bruce read the diagnoses John had been given, like probable PTSD for memories he didn’t even consciously know about, or schizophrenia. Bruce scrolled to the bottom of the file, and couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh at what he read.

_Patient is unable to function as a normal member of society. Is never to be released._

Crane wrote that, Bruce was sure of it. His chest felt tight. That man was a monster. He was what was wrong with the world. He was part of the darkness that Bruce tried to push away in order to protect people.

Bruce was brought out of his thoughts when he felt his phone begin to vibrate. He answered the call. “Tiff.”

“Bruce, what the hell are you doing in Arkham’s systems?” She replied, clearly confused and upset.

“Nice to talk to you, too.”

“Bruce! This is serious! The power, the elevator, now confidential files?”

“You won’t like my answer...” He closed John’s file and found a list of audio files. “..But I need you to do something for me.”

“God, Bruce, this isn’t about John, is it?”

Bruce let out a huff. “Don’t get involved, I just need you to help transfer some files to the computer for me.”

Tiffany was silent on the other end for a few seconds, weighing her options. Bruce could easily hand her over to the police for killing Riddler. It had been weeks, but she was still on thin ice. “I’m listening.”

Bruce slipped a small USB out of his pocket and attached it to the computer. “The files should be going through now. Audio files.”

“They’re coming through… Do you seriously carry little pieces of tech with you everywhere you go?”

“Of course not. I just knew I would need some today.”

“I… I heard from Alfred about John not letting you see him.”

Bruce’s chest felt tight again. “Something’s wrong. Even if he never wants to see me again.. I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Why? He’s a murderer. He tried to kill you. How can you love him?”

Bruce let out a breath. “How are the files coming-?”

“ _Bruce_.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “He makes me feel normal, alright? Happy?”

She was silent for a moment. “The files are all through.”

“Great.” Bruce detached the USB. “I’m getting out of here.”

“Don’t get caught.”

“Me? Never.”

***

When Bruce returned home and went down to the cave, Tiffany was still there. She was leaning against the console and looked up when he entered. “I didn’t go through any of them, don’t worry.”

Bruce let out a soft sigh. “You should get out of here. These things will take hours to go through.”

Tiffany looked away for a moment, arms crossed. “You think something bad is really happening.”

“I do. But nothing concrete. I need proof that Crane is up to something.” Bruce sat down at the computer, looking over at her. “I don’t want you to get involved, and I’m sure you don’t want to get involved either.”

“I don’t. John’s unstable. But if he’s not getting proper treatment, or something like that...” She uncrossed her arms. “I’ll help for your sake. Not his.”

“I appreciate it.” Bruce gave her a small smile. “I’m gonna tackle these files. If anything big comes up I’ll let you know.”

“I’ll see if I can dig up anything on Crane, but you know his record is spotless so far.” She moved off of the console.

Bruce watched her go. “Wait.”

She stopped and looked back at him. “What is it?”

Bruce thought for a moment. “Try to find anything linking human experimentation to the government.”

Tiffany’s eyes widened. “Human exper… Bruce, this is the U.S. government we’re talking about!”

“John lost his memories and ended up in Arkham somehow. No one knows where he came from. The government could easily cover it up and erase who he is.”

Tiffany looked away for a moment before nodding. “Will do.”

“Thanks, Tiff.”

Bruce turned his attention back to the computer. He clicked on the first audio file.

***

John huffed as he walked down the hall to where he knew Dr. Crane would be. He totally cut into Bruce’s visiting time! That was so rude!

He knocked on the door and slipped inside. Dr. Crane was in the corner, next to a stand with a tray of medical supplies. He looked over when John entered, and gestured to the examination chair in the middle of the room. “John. Glad you could make it.”

“You cut into my time with Bruce.” John replied, crossing his arms as his eyes wandered over the items on the tray. “You know when he visits!”

“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk over with you.” Dr. Crane slipped on a pair of latex gloves and he looked over at John. “Bruce Wayne watched while you destroyed yourself.”

John rolled his eyes. Not this crap again. “He didn’t! He tried to help me! He loves me!”

Crane held out his hand and John reluctantly put out his arm for him to put an IV in. He took a breath when he felt the pinch. “More useless attempts at memory recovery today, Doc?”

“It’s not useless. We break through that boundary little by little every session.” Crane tilted his head slightly. “You do want to remember, don’t you?”

“I don’t know. What if I don’t like the truth?”

Crane held up a small bottle and began to extract the clear liquid inside through a needle. “You have to learn the truth sometime. And that’s what this session is all about. The truth.”

He inserted the needle into John’s IV, directly shooting the drug into John’s bloodstream.

John blinked, instantly feeling a bit dizzy. “What.. what is this stuff?”

“You’re afraid of the truth.” Crane stated simply. “You already know what the truth is, you’ve just been running from it for weeks. Your fears control you, shape you. Your fears created Joker. Your fear for your safety, for revenge, and for the truth. They all created Joker.”

John’s eyelids felt heavy, and his vision was turning black. “I.. I don’t understand.. What are you doing?”

He managed to look up at Crane, but his eyes fell closed.

“I’m showing you the truth.”

***

John gradually opened his eyes. His eyes were met by a soft light, and he pushed himself up onto his elbows. He was in a bed in a dark room, and he quickly realized it was what he always pictured Bruce’s room to be like at the manor.

John sat up entirely. The walls were a dark blue, with curtains drawn to keep out most of the light from the outside world. The sheets of the bed were black, and nothing hung on the walls.

John stood from the bed, looking around. What happened? Was he brought here? Was everything after Ace just a terrible nightmare he’d had?

He looked down at his clothes, and he was wearing what he wore from the bridge, what he’d worn on his first unofficial date with Bruce.

He walked to the door and pulled it open, glancing out into the hall. “Er.. Bruce?”

He huffed when he got no response, so he began to make his way down the hall. He found the staircase and descended it, looking around.the entryway of the manor.

John wasn’t exactly sure why, but he felt like he needed to go to the kitchen, and somehow he already knew where it was. He just went beyond the stairs, away from the front door, and ducked into a back hallway. He took his first right, and there was the kitchen, along with Bruce.

“Bruce!” John grinned and stepped into the kitchen. Bruce was sitting at the counter, doing something on his phone. He looked up when John said his name.

“John.”

“Oh, buddy, what happened?” John wrapped his arms around Bruce and snuggled into his warmth. After a moment of Bruce making no move to return the hug, he stepped back.

“Uh, ahem, anyway, what happened? The last thing I remember is Dr. Crane shooting me full of some drug and talking about my fears! Did you get me out of Arkham?”

Bruce took a moment to reply and John tilted his head. Something was off. “No. No, you’re still there.”

John blinked. “I’m.. having a dream?”

“It’s not a dream.” Bruce answered. John took a step back. Something was wrong. “It’s.. we both know this goes only one way, John.”

He stepped towards John, entering his personal space. They were basically touching, noses only a few inches apart. Bruce looked him up and down and he spoke softly. “You know how this ends.”

“Right. I get better and get out of Arkham. I’ll come live with you.”

Bruce shook his head and pulled away, a small smirk appearing on his lips. “You really aren’t THAT dumb, are you?”

John blinked. “W-what?”

Bruce stepped back, shrugging his shoulders. “You are seriously that gullible… wow.”

John frowned. Bruce was calling him.. Stupid? “What are you talking about??”

“John.” The smirk spread. “Do you honestly believe that you can get better? That you deserve a second chance?”

John swallowed thickly. “I.. I.. You’ve been encouraging me to get better!”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “John, I’m a master at manipulation to get what I want. You.. you’ve just clung to me so desperately, even before you got out..” He shrugged again. “Your obsession over me shows how unstable you are, and after we met at the funeral you’ve clung to me like a blanket.”

Desperation fell over John. Joker had said something similar to Batman about justice. “No, no! I love you! I.. I need you!”

“But I don’t need you.”

John felt his eyes water, his hands trembling. The words hit him like a train. “You.. don’t..?”

Bruce let out a chuckle. “Of course not! You’re a lowlife, John. You were useful in stopping The Pact. A pawn that I could manipulate to get inside. You _actually_ believe that someone like _me_ could ever love someone like _you_?”

John felt tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t breathe. “..You’re.. You’re not real..!”

“I’m not the Bruce you’re used to. I’m a physical representation that your mind has created. You know, the only reason the real Bruce visits is so that you don’t break out. You’re never going to get better, John. You killed so many people..”

“Th-The real Bruce does need me! He does love me!” John wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Every doubt he’d ever had, every time he second guessed himself, it was all flooding back to him.

“Crane said he’d be showing you the truth. This is it.”

John shook his head. No, this wasn’t the truth. It couldn’t be, could it?

“John.”

John looked over at Bruce. “You’re a liar.”

“I’m opening your eyes to the truth. You’re afraid of it. You run from it. Bruce gave up Batman because of you.”

John was sure his heart actually stopped functioning. He hadn’t been able to watch any TV. Therapy was always during the news. He figured Bruce had been up and about, tending to his duties as Batman at night as per usual. John’s voice barely came out as a whisper.

“He.. he what?”

Bruce raised his eyebrows and laughed, full on laughed. After he calmed down, John realizing he was smirking. “Oh, you knew, John. I’m a part of you! Deep down you knew he wasn’t up to his nightly activities anymore!”

John felt like he was on fire, because suddenly it did make sense. How would Bruce be able to juggle Wayne Enterprises work during the day, visit John for a few hours, and be Batman at night? “He.. he uses time at night for any work he didn’t finish during the day.. That’s how he stays on top of visits with me..”

“Visits that he doesn’t even want to go to!” Bruce let out a satisfied sigh. “John, don’t you see? You already knew all of this, you just were running away from it! Don’t run anymore. Bruce has already given up on you. He’s had enough stress in his life. Do you want him to keep suffering?”

John shook his head. No, no. He didn’t want Bruce to suffer. That was the last thing he wanted. “I’ve.. I’ve caused him so much pain..”

“But you can stop causing him pain! If you can accept that this is how it’s going to be, then you won’t bother him anymore! He won’t need to fake loving you, he won’t need to fake being your friend.”

Right. John had just been a pawn to stop The Pact. A means to an end. Batman, no, Bruce had lied to him back at Ace. He never considered them friends. And why should he have? John was from an asylum. He was a disgusting creature. He had been dumped there for a reason. He was never meant to leave.

John felt his eyelids grow heavy, and the room began to blur.

“The drug’s wearing off. You’ll wake up in a few seconds.”

John’s vision went dark.

***

When he came to, he heard Crane’s voice. “...has regained consciousness after three minutes exact.”

John opened his eyes. He was back in the room with Crane. He felt tears on his cheeks.

“John.” Crane looked at him expectantly. “Was your experience enlightening?”

***

After about half an hour of listening to audio files, Bruce decided that focusing on ones that were from after the last time he saw John would be best. He would have time to find evidence against Crane later. Right now, he needed to help John.

Bruce played the one that occured on the last day he saw John. The file started and after just a few seconds there was a knock, clearly on a door. There was some shuffling, along with John complaining that Crane cut into his time with Bruce. Bruce couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly, as it was clear that John wasn’t pleased.

Bruce felt a shiver run down his back. As the two continued to talk, and he couldn’t help but wince when he heard John make a noise of discomfort.

There was silence until Crane spoke again. “Patient has been administered T-09…” There was some rustling and he spoke again after a minute. “Heart rate and blood pressure are steady.”

He was silent for a few moments. “Patient is on the verge of hyperventilation.”

Bruce clenched his fists. Crane sounded entirely casual, like nothing was wrong.

Bruce listened in silence, until he heard shuffling, and Crane spoke again. “The patient has regained consciousness after three minutes exact.”

More shuffling. “John. Was your experience enlightening?”

John’s voice was shaky. “I.. how could I be so blind? Bruce doesn’t love me.. He never even liked me..”

Crane sighed softly. “John. Bruce Wayne is a very rich man, who has been sleeping around with women for nearly a decade. Someone had to tell you the truth, and the truth is that someone like him can't ever be friends with someone like you.”

“I was so stupid.. I actually thought he cared.. This whole time..”

“No, no, no. John…” Bruce felt like his heart was in his throat. What the hell did Crane give him? That wasn’t true. He _did_ like John- he _loved_ him.

“He’s been playing with people his whole life, John. He saw that you were weak, someone he could prey upon. You don’t want him to keep stringing you along, do you?”

John’s voice came out cold. Not soft and light-hearted like his own, nor edged and maniacal like Joker’s. “No. I.. I never want to see him again. All he did was use me.”

“Very well. Did you remember anything from your past?”

“No.”

“Then the session is over.” Bruce heard a few steps get louder, and the audio file ended.

Bruce stared at the screen of files. He felt sick.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, trying to process it all, but he was dragged from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Alfred standing next to him.

“Al, this..” Bruce looked from him to the screen, gesturing vaguely. “I…”

“It’s about John. Tiffany told me.” Alfred looked Bruce up and down. “Did you find something? You look like you’ve had quite the shock.”

Bruce took a deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still way shorter than I wanted it to be, but I didn't want to overload on one chapter. I honestly have no idea where this is going to go. I didn't even plan for it to go beyond one small story, and now this is the fourth installment. Hopefully I can wrap it up in the next chapter or something like that. I do want to write some more Dark John so I'll probably write a darker fic with John acting closer to how he did in the first chapter of this story once this is wrapped up. I'm entirely open to requests, as always, and, if you have a comment, concern, question, just want to yell at me, etc, feel free to drop a comment! Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

John fiddled with the cushion on Doctor Leland’s couch as he waited for her to arrive. She was going through verbal therapy with him for the day, as Doctor Crane was out.

John felt empty.

At first, he’d been angry. Bruce just used him! Bruce was a liar! For a split second John hated him. Despised him. But he didn’t. John Doe loved Bruce. And he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

It had been at least over a week since his session with Crane. He was usually so perfect at counting the days he'd been in Arkham, knowing down to the second how long he'd been in there. Now he didn't care. He was heartbroken.

All he cared about was Bruce, and that turned into a huge lie that blew up in his face. He felt so lost, and more alone than ever. When he was first in Arkham, he could admire Bruce on TV and in pictures. His mind would create some elaborate fantasy in which Bruce swept him off of his feet.

But now John knew that Bruce didn’t want him. Bruce didn’t like him. Bruce hated him.

John heard the office door open. “John.”

He continued to busy himself with the cushion. He didn’t want to talk. He had no reason to get better now.

Doctor Leland pressed the usual recording device on her desk and sat down. She flipped through the latest updates to his file before speaking. “Since your last session how have you been feeling on a scale of 1 to 10?”

They’d done this many times before. 10 was feeling good, while 1 was feeling low. During John’s first time at Arkham, he probably would’ve said 7 or 8.

“0.”

Doctor Leland spoke again, this time, much softer. “You haven’t been eating very much.”

John barely glanced at her. He couldn’t deny the truth.

“Is there any reason why?”

John tightly hugged the pillow to his chest.

Leland tried again. “Are you concerned about food quality? Do you think something’s being put in-”

“I don’t want to eat.” John cut in sharply. He didn’t want Leland to waste her time on him. She was a good doctor, and had plenty of other patients who needed help. He wanted to cut the session as short as possible.

John released the cushion. “I.. There's no reason for me to even bother trying to get better at this point.”

Leland chose her words carefully. “You haven't actually spoken to Bruce. In fact, you asked Dr. Crane to stop him from seeing you.”

“Bruce is smart. I figured he'd get the hint that he doesn't actually like me and he'd stop visiting. He's got stuff to do.”

Leland tilted her head. A theory she’d had for a while crossed her mind. “‘Stuff’? Can you be more specific?”

John had to catch himself. Right. Bruce gave up Batman. So the ‘stuff’ he did really was just CEO work now.

“You know. He's a busy guy. CEO and all that.” He picked up the pillow again, picking at the fabric.

“What about…” Leland hesitated, not only because of her theory, but because she was afraid of triggering John.

“Batman is gone.” John suddenly spoke, his voice dropping as he grew angry. “Batman is gone because of Joker. Because of me!”

“John-”

“It’s JOKER!”

The two stared at each other. John’s voice had been filled with hate, anger.

His heart thudded in his chest. What had he just said? That wasn’t true. He wasn’t Joker. Or was he? Joker was a monster, something dark, created by a past that John didn’t know about. Maybe that past had really turned John into a monster.

“I… I didn’t mean…” John lowered his gaze. “Maybe I did mean it..”

“You really should talk to Bruce.”

“He doesn’t care about me.”

“That’s what Crane’s drug told you.”

John looked over at her again. “But it all makes sense. He told me he was showing me the truth.”

“I know you don’t like him. Why are you believing what he says? Believing what this drug is telling you?”

John’s brows furrowed together. Why did he believe Crane so easily? He disliked him, hated him. Why had he been so quick to believe him? “I.. It just made sense..”

“John. Bruce has come by every day to try to see you. If he really didn’t like you, do you honestly think he would bother driving out here every day?”

John blinked. Every day? “Maybe… he’s just faking. So it’ll look good..?” Now John was all confused. He was sure he’d had it all figured out. He was sure Crane’s drug was right.

“John, I hate to tell you this, but Bruce coming out here to see you looks bad for his image. He’s still trying to repair it after everything with the truth about his father. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

“I make him look bad…” Dread washed over John. “So if we do talk and word gets out, it won’t be good for him.”

“That doesn’t matter to him. Yes, he’s risking his image, but he loves you.”

John shook his head, frowning. “No, no. Someone like him doesn’t need me. Someone like him could never be friends with someone like me.”

Leland took a few seconds to speak. “Sounds like you’re reciting from a textbook.”

John’s eyes widened. It did. It felt like something he wouldn’t say. Those weren’t his words. “I… Crane said that to me.”

“He’s planting these lies in your head, John.” Leland glanced at the clock on the wall. “We don’t have much time left. Can you promise me that you’ll be open to seeing Bruce?”

John’s gaze fell to the floor. He was so sure he’d finally figured everything out. Figured out that he was a hopeless cause, someone thrown away. He thought he was sure that Bruce didn’t love him and wanted nothing to do with him. He looked down at the scar on his right palm, which he’d started to pick at after his session with Crane. He looked at the faint scars on his arms, Bruce’s name almost entirely faded away. He thought he was ready to give up finally. Hell, he had given up.

“I promise you.”

When Doctor Leland stood, John held up his hand. “Wait, wait.”

“John?”

“...Have you talked to Bruce?”

She hesitated before answering. “He is doing everything he can to help.”

***

Bruce stared at the screen. The file had appeared in the Batcomputer’s system while he’d been talking to Alfred, and the two listened to it intently.

“I have to go.” Bruce stood, and Alfred put a hand on his shoulder.

“Bruce, you need to take a moment.” He said sternly.

Bruce blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you don’t want to talk to John looking like an emotional wreck, now, do you?”

“What?”

“Alfred’s right.” Tiffany came from the elevator, tablet in hand. “I hate to say it boss, but you don’t look your best.”

“Wow. Thanks, Tiff.”

Bruce looked at himself in the reflection of one of the monitors. Yeah, ok, he didn’t look all that great. He was pretty exhausted. He was worried sick about John, had gotten minimal sleep, and he couldn’t even remember if he’d eaten that day.

“I have to go see him.” Bruce said. “I don’t care if I look like shit.”

Tiffany crossed her arms, and Alfred shook his head.

Bruce rolled his eyes. “Guys, John is in danger. Serious danger. He’s been drugged by Crane, his mind is slipping.”

“And you can tell that just from hearing his voice.” Tiffany said flatly. When Bruce went to argue, she held up a hand quickly. “Wait. I just came down to tell you that I found was some more stuff on Crane. Not incriminating, but this is pretty big.”

She tapped her tablet. “Apparently in college whenever he wrote papers, he somehow tied human fear and emotions into it, even if the paper had nothing to do with that. For his final paper- which is about 14 pages, mind you- his topic was fear.”

She handed Bruce the tablet and he skimmed the page. “What we do when we face our deepest fears… how far people will bend before they break…”

“Keep scrolling. Page five or six.”

Alfred glanced up at her, reading over Bruce’s shoulder.

Bruce’s grip on the tablet tightened. “Possible creation of drug that will make someone hallucinate their worst fear… could be used to manipulate people…”

Bruce handed the tablet back to her. He felt disgusted. “He’s had the idea for a while. Anything on how his professors and peers thought about him?”

“Yeah. Clearly wasn’t well-liked.” She shook her head. “Don’t understand how he got a job as a professor at the university, though. A lot of people have given him backlash for some articles he’s written.”

Bruce was silent, thinking hard. It didn’t make sense. If he was well-known and liked, maybe. But this didn’t make sense. Was the university really short on staff?

“Bought his way in?” Alfred asked. “Why would he even need to work at Arkham and the school? I’m sure he gets paid a decent amount.”

“Access to something?” Bruce glanced over at Tiffany. “I don’t suppose you have any idea to how the psychology department is at the university?”

Tiffany tilted her head, thinking. “Not really, no. But the library that’s open to everyone is pretty big. A massive section was just for psychology and psychiatry last time I was there.”

She was silent before looking over at Bruce. “Bruce.. Do you want me to..”

Bruce’s eyes flickered over to where he knew Tiffany’s suit was (along with his own, but he didn’t want to think about that right now). “Are you willing to go out in the field alone for this?”

She followed his gaze, and after looking at Alfred for a moment she nodded. “You know how I feel about John. I may not like him, but if he’s being tortured or something like that by Crane..” She shook her head, a look of disgust crossing her face. “Someone like him deserves real treatment. I’ll suit up tonight and see if I can find anything in the library worth looking at.”

“Can you get in without being seen?”

“The library is open until midnight. I’ll go after, once everyone’s gone.”

Bruce felt some tension leave his shoulders. Good, Tiffany could get in easily.

“I’m going to talk to Avesta. She might be able to help.” He said. “And then I’m going to see John. Can you keep digging while I’m gone?”

“Of course, Bruce.” Tiffany said. “About John.. you’re sure?”

“Tiffany, he made up his mind the minute that file finished playing.” Alfred replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

***

Bruce didn’t know why he felt so weird taking the elevator up in Wayne Enterprises. Maybe it was because he was so stressed from everything with John, or that he was worried that someone would get the wrong idea when they saw him talk to Iman.

The elevator stopped on the floor where she worked, and Bruce stepped out, making his way down the hall to the room where she worked.

Bruce paused briefly outside the door, hearing friendly chatter between his workers. That didn’t bother him at all, he knew days could be extremely slow. What bothered him, was what happened when he entered.

Suddenly the chatter stopped as heads turned to see who it was, then quickly turned away when the ‘Oh shit, it’s the boss! Pretend to be productive!’ moment happened. Bruce wasn’t sure if it was because he was the CEO, or if the controversy around his family was the reason.

He made his way down the rows of cubicles until he found the one he was looking for. He knocked gently on the side of it, and Iman turned around in her office chair.

“Oh, Mr. Wayne. What can I help you with?”

Sure, they were on a first name basis alone, but at work they stuck to being formal. Besides Bruce, no one knew that Iman had worked for The Agency, and thus didn’t know Iman and Batman (or Bruce, for that matter) had worked together and knew each other.

“Ms. Avesta. I need to speak with you.”

The two received a few confused looks as they passed through the room and made their way to the elevators. They stood in silence on the way up, not even looking at each other in case whoever looked on the security camera feed would get suspicious.

Bruce made sure the door was shut and locked behind them when they entered his office.

“Is it The Agency? Is Waller threatening you?” Iman spoke when Bruce turned to face her. He quickly shook his head.

“No, no Agency yet. Please.” He gestured to his couch and she sat down. The same couch he and Tiffany sat on when he told her he was Batman.

“I’m listening.”

Bruce sat beside her. “It’s about John.”

She tensed up. “How’s his recovery?”

“He’s.. he’s regressing.”

Iman easily read Bruce. She could practically feel the negativity he emitted. “I’m so sorry, Bruce. But there must be something else you wanted to talk about.”

He looked over at her. Iman had grown up in Gotham, had gone to GU and went off with The Agency. She had to know. “Jonathan Crane. Sound familiar?”

Her eyes widened and she cursed in another language. “Bruce.. How do you know about him?”

“He took up John’s case. He’s also started teaching at GU.”

She shook her head. “Bruce, that’s impossible. He’s a psychologist and psychiatrist. He wrote papers on fear and- and manipulating people. Torture. GU didn’t hire him. All our profs warned us about him. Told us not to turn into him.”

Bruce didn’t expect such a negative reaction. He hated the guy, but Iman seemed afraid. She slipped out her phone and did a quick search. “Bruce, I’m sure you’re mistaken…” Her face dropped suddenly, clearly finding out that Crane did indeed now work at GU.

“What else do you know?” Bruce asked. She set her phone down, thinking.

“He was stupid smart. An ass apparently, too. One of my professors said he’d ask everyone what their fears were and why. Wrote it down in this journal. He was quiet, but always did well on exams.”

“He majored in psychology and psychiatry?”

“And biochemistry. Got out in four years, I heard.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows. “Jesus… what about after school?”

“Wrote articles, wrote papers. None of his stuff was widely received by the community.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “After the first four or so papers were torn up by everyone, he went underground and did some pieces with a pseudonym. Then he went fully underground. My professors would laugh and mock him, but I knew they were afraid of him. I’m sure he got to them somehow.”

“Did anyone say anything about what he did after that? Where he went?”

She shook her head. “Like I said, totally silent. Underground completely, until now.”

“Iman… this is all great information. I really appreciate it, but… I need one more thing from you.”

She looked over at him. “I’m listening.”

“Tiffany has been trying to dig up stuff for me.. I was hoping you’d know about it. Or at least would be able to point her in the right direction.”

Iman blinked. “This is going to involve the government.. Isn’t it. The Agency?”

“Sort of. Yes.”

“What’s up?”

“I don’t think Project Lotus is the only thing that the government has been secretly funding.”

***

John was feeling antsy now. He had to rethink what he’d been thinking for the past week. No, it had been longer than a week. John was sure of that.

John had learned not to give into manipulation so easily. Harley did it, Bruce did it. He stopped trusting most people.

He was right. When he’d had his accident, it was because he loved Bruce. They were meant to be together. That stupid Doctor Crane had to ruin it all. John clenched his fists as he sat on his bed. Crane lied to him and manipulated him. He wanted to break up him and Bruce! Well, two could play at that game, _mister_.

Bruce was meant for him. He was meant for Bruce. Bruce risked his image to even visit John, of course he loved him. That stupid drug! Why couldn’t Doctor Leland have stayed his doctor?

John glanced at the picture of him and Batman that was now facedown on the table. He’d almost shattered it after his session with Crane, tears in his eyes and a fire burning in his chest, but he’d managed to calm down enough to just turn the picture away.

John’s stomach growled and he let out a soft huff. He realized just how hungry he was, and after looking himself over, he began to wonder how much weight he’d lost.

Doctor Leland put in his request to allow visitors again right after their session. It had been about an hour.

The thing was, now John couldn’t figured out why Crane did what he did. It couldn’t be just to break him and Bruce up, no. He’d purposefully planted an idea in John’s brain to make him off-balance. To make him doubt everything and himself.

Could it have something to do with his past? John pressed his back against the wall. His past that he didn’t remember.

It was strange. John didn’t know his past. He didn’t know his real name, who he was, how he got to Arkham, but there were certain things he’d always known. When he first woke up, they asked him about his past. After nothing came up they tried simple questions, things John did know, like the planets in the solar system (John _still_ was a strong advocate for Pluto being a planet) or that water was H2O.

He had bits of knowledge when he’d first woken up. He knew that the words for someone like Batman were ‘vigilante’ to most people, and ‘hero’ to him and a handful of others.

John tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling. Why him? Why did Crane choose him? In all of his years at Arkham, Crane never popped up once. He had to be new. John wasn’t sure if he had other patients, but he was sure he had a couple at least.

Had they been treated the same way? Were they regressing worse than he had?

John moved to get up from his bed, a sudden urge to save anyone in the asylum who’d been treated as he had, but then he remembered he was a prisoner as well. He sat back. Right. The last time he’d tried to do the right thing he’d snapped and killed people, anyway. Even if he wasn’t trapped, he’d probably screw up.

John’s gaze turned to the window on the other side of the room. Visiting hours would be over for the day in roughly an hour, but he wasn’t expecting anyone. Sure, he was hoping Bruce would stop by, but he was still fuzzy on everything.

He looked out over the part of Arkham that was visible from his window, and just as he was beginning to count the other windows he could see, there was a loud knock on his door.

“Visitor for John Doe.”

John sat up instantly as the door swung open. He already knew who was on the other side. There was no mistaking it.

Bruce stepped into the room, of course looking as handsome as ever. The door shut as he reached up to his neckline, a brief moment of realization crossing his face. Right. Bruce _always_ adjusted his tie when he was nervous, but this time he wasn’t wearing one.

“John…” Bruce looked over him carefully, and John let out a nervous chuckle. Sure, he always loved it when those gorgeous pupils looked at him, but at the moment, things were different.

“I… Bruce..” John trailed off. Part of him was screaming at him to yell at Bruce for using him, for manipulating him, for pretending, but another part told him that that didn’t make sense, and that Bruce loved him and never stopped.

“Can I sit?” Bruce gestured to the bed, and after John nodded he sat down, not too close but not too far away from John.

Bruce looked over at him. “I.. Doctor Leland pointed me in the right direction to… some of your files.”

John’s eyes widened. “Files..?”

“Audio files. Therapy sessions.” Bruce looked out the window, then back at John. “Your one with Crane the last day that I saw you.”

John felt his chest tighten and a lump form in his throat. “I..”

“Look, John.” Bruce turned to him, and John saw something in his eyes that he couldn’t quite place. “I know I used you. I did it to cover my ass. I hurt you… lied to you..”

Bruce looked away for a moment, then his eyes met John’s. “I know I don’t deserve a lot of things. I don’t deserve someone as sincere as you. Someone as driven as you. But I also know that I do love you. And I know that whatever is going on here in Arkham isn't right. Whatever Crane said to you isn’t true. You..”

Bruce paused and took a deep breath, breaking eye contact momentarily before looking back at John. “I don't want to lose you.”

John looked away, his chest tightening again. Bruce was telling him he loved him. Telling him he didn’t want to lose him.

“I know you have no reason to trust me.” Bruce had sat back a little. “I know that all I’ve brought into your life since we met has been chaos… but you’re right. We.. the stitch doesn’t work without the other thread. There is no B without his J.”

John let out a soft sob and instinctively covered his mouth with his hand. A flash of worry crossed Bruce’s face, and just as he was about to say something else, John practically flung himself at Bruce, burying his face in his shoulder and clinging onto Bruce like his life depended on it.

“Oh gosh, Bruce- _Bruce_ , I’m such an idiot. I believed Crane! He fed me… he fed me lies and I believed it all-!”

John felt Bruce slip his arms around him, pulling him closer. “No, no, John, it’s ok.. It’s not your fault…”

“I love you- I love you so much..! I didn’t even talk to you about it.. I was so convinced that.. That you didn’t care!”

Bruce pressed a kiss to John’s head. “It’s ok.. I’m here now.. I came every day to see you.. I was.. I was really worried about you.”

“I’m so sorry..” John sniffled, pulling away just a bit as he looked up at Bruce. “I still have no idea why I believed him so easily..”

“Something in what he gave you, I’m sure.” Bruce replied, rubbing a thumb against John’s cheek. “Your brain chemistry.. All off-balance.”

“More than usual, huh?” John managed a small smile, even a tiny chuckle.

“At the cafe all those nights ago I told you that you being scrambled is what I like about you, and it’s still true.” Bruce said.

John just looked at him for a few seconds before returning his head to Bruce’s shoulder. “When do you have to go?”

Bruce ran a hand up and down his back. “I’ll stay until visiting hours are over. There’s nothing I have to be back at the manor for.”

“You mentioned ‘whatever is going on here in Arkham’.. You mean Crane?”

Bruce glanced at the camera in the corner, suddenly aware that someone was probably watching them. The camera was likely turned back on after John started his regression. “I.. I’m not sure.”

John picked up on his uneasiness and he let out a sniff, calming down. “Did you find anything interesting while looking at my files?”

“Nothing I didn’t already know.”

“...You heard about Batman?”

John felt Bruce tense ever so slightly before he answered. “No one’s seen him. He just.. He’s gone.”

“He didn’t tell anyone.” John’s voice was low. If he wasn’t worried about the camera then he would ask Bruce outright, but he promised to never tell his secret, and John held himself to that. He had been angry when he realized Batman was gone. Bruce never told him. Never mentioned it. They talked about Joker of course, especially during their first few times seeing each other after Ace, but no talk of Batman.

“You know how he is. Prefers to work alone. He seemed kind of close to the GCPD but… after everything that happened..”

Bruce’s voice broke every so slightly. John pulled away and sat up, cupping Bruce’s face with his hand.

“He.. knows it wasn’t his fault, right?”

Bruce blinked at him. “The public doesn’t have any idea what happened between Joker and Batman. Batman just.. left when Joker…”

“It wasn’t his fault.” John said firmly. “I wish he would’ve stayed.. The city is screwed without him.”

“I’m sure the police can manage.”

Bruce sounded pretty genuine, though John knew he was great at sounding one way but really thinking or believing another. Was Bruce seriously done with Batman forever?

“Well… I think he’s coming back!” John suddenly grinned.

Bruce raised his eyebrows. “You really think that? He was indirectly responsible for a lot of deaths… and GCPD has been doing well..”

“He’ll be back! He’s Batman!” John proudly put his hands on his hips. “He’s all like ‘I am the night!’ and he’s got quite the punch! Trust me, that suit isn’t just for show!”

“Oh, great. I’m competing with a law breaker that runs around Gotham dressed as a bat.”

John let out a few giggles. “Oh, Bruce, don’t worry! You’ll always be my number one! Batman is just a close second!”

The two men talked, mostly just John going on about how great Batman was and how much he did for the city. It wasn’t hard for Bruce to tell that John was trying to convince him to put the cowl back on, but he sat back and let him talk.

When the orderly came in telling Bruce that visiting hours were over, he reluctantly stood. He pulled John into his arms and kissed his forehead.

“I’ll be back when I can tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” John squeezed Bruce tightly. “Be safe.”

Bruce gave him a small smile, and John watched the door shut as he left. John grinned to himself. He sat down on his bed and leaned over to the picture frame, resting face down on the dresser still.

He righted the picture of him and Batman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! I finally think I know where I wanna go with this! I have a few ideas and a general plot, so uh.. yay I guess? I hope this chapter wasn't as crappy as the last one. More plot in the next chapter! >:3c


	6. Chapter 6

The two women at the Batcomputer looked at Bruce when he approached. Tiffany was typing away, giving him only a bit of a glance, while Iman took her attention off the screen.

“Bruce.. I honestly don’t know how much my connection to The Agency will help.” Iman began, brushing her bangs back. “I don’t even know if Waller knew about something like this. Yes, she’s made more than just a couple calls that weren’t so great, but… what SANCTUS did.. That wasn’t her call. Yes, she used resources to cover a few things up..”

Bruce looked from her to the monitor. “If there’s something bigger going on then Waller probably didn’t know. If she knew anything about John’s past I don’t think she’d just let it go. Probably would’ve used it to expose him.”

Tiffany let out a soft sigh, clearly frustrated. “What, you think John’s past has to do with the government? That he’s a weapon? A spy?”

“I have no clue about those last two, but the first one..” Bruce habitually crossed his arms. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Iman looked over at him. “His file just… starts, Tiffany. It’s like he dropped out of the sky.”

“Oh, like an alien?” Tiffany’s voice was cold.

“Tiffany.” Bruce forced himself to take a breath. Things were still tense with her, especially in regards to John. “I know the line between us is thin, and the one between you and John is even thinner. Just.. see if you can dig up anything through the access Iman has left. Go to GU tonight like you said you would. After that.. You don’t have to help with anything else. I won’t hold you to anything else.”

Tiffany had gone back to typing, but paused for a moment. “Right. I said I’d help. I won’t go back on my word.”

“Thank you.”

“..With the pale skin and green hair he sure looks like one.”

Bruce felt like his anger would bring him over the edge right there, and he felt it rising in his chest, but he forced himself to take another deep breath. No. He was not going to let his anger boil, even if he felt like punching the wall.

Instead, he picked up Tiffany’s tablet. He ignored her questioning look, and after tapping the screen a few times, he pulled up the picture he wanted from the Batcomputer’s system.

He dropped it in front of her, above the keyboard on the console. It was the picture of her from the night she killed Riddler.

Tiffany paused, going still when she saw the picture. Bruce’s voice was low when he spoke.

“Don’t forget.”

***

Bruce was only mildly surprised when Iman came into the kitchen a few minutes after he’d made his way up there. He straighten a bit when he saw her.

“I’m going to let Tiffany do her thing.” She said quickly, sitting across from him.

“Sorry. What she said about John..” Bruce trailed off. Recently his emotions had been running far wilder than he would’ve liked. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Bruce. She said the man you love looks like an alien.” Iman gave him a small smile, realizing how dumb it sounded to say it out loud. “I’m here mainly to ask you about how the visit went.”

“He’s back, or, at least how he was before Crane gave him that… whatever.” Bruce found himself almost fidgeting, running the thumb of his right hand over the palm of his left. “He couldn’t explain why Crane was able to convince him so easily. I’m sure it has to do with what he gave him, and John seemed to feel the same way.”

“How badly did he..” Iman looked from Bruce to the table, then back to him. “Or… I don’t have to know. Confidentiality.”

“He beat himself up pretty badly.” Bruce found himself speaking softly. “He.. I didn’t mention it but he looked.. Skinnier.”

“You’re worried he stopped eating?”

Bruce looked over at her. “I don’t know how to talk about that stuff. I just shoved it all down when Alfred got close to finding something out.”

“You’re also worried about triggering him.”

“He brought up Batman. I know he wants me to put the cowl back on.”

“What about Joker?”

Bruce sat back. “Nothing. All I got was John the whole time we talked.”

“At least there’s that. He didn’t lash out at you…” Iman sighed softly. “But Joker is still lurking under the surface, I’m sure.”

“Besides his accident… He hasn’t been aggressive towards anyone else, or, not that I know of.” Bruce couldn’t help but lower his gaze from Iman to his lap, instantly thinking of how Joker had been violent at Ace. He shook his head to himself and stood.

“It’s getting dark. You should head home.”

Iman stood as well. “I’ll be back at work tomorrow, of course. Tiffany… if she finds anything interesting at GU tonight, anything tying to Crane..”

“I’ll be sure to let you know in the morning.” Bruce offered her a small smile. “Goodnight, Iman.”

“Good luck, Bruce.”

***

“There’s nothing in here.”

“How so?”

“I’ve been looking for an hour, and there’s nothing on fear. Nothing.”

Bruce sat back. Tiffany was at GU’s library, looking through the selection of books in the psychology and psychiatry sections. “This was a waste of a trip.”

“First off..” Bruce paused, to help make his point, and secondly, because he was using the tone that John had once described as a ‘stern father’. He cleared his throat. “Not a waste. This is an investigation. Dig deeper.”

“Like check if he was ever in here to begin with?”

“Exactly.”

“Alright.” He knew she was moving to a computer to hack into security feeds. “I’ll also check if he checked anything out, though he probably just stole books to make sure his name isn’t in the records.”

“Better cover all your bases. Look for gaps in security footage, anything that looks like a loop that could cover up real footage.”

“And if I still find nothing?”

“Then you come back to the manor and we pick this up later. Even if you find nothing it’s still not a waste.”

There was a few seconds of silence until she spoke again. “Nothing in the system. Not surprising, though.”

“You could also check out his office when you’re done.”

“Oh, sure. There’s gotta be something useful in there.” Bruce heard more typing as Tiffany pulled up security footage, mumbling to herself about what times he could or couldn’t be at the library.

“What’s he look like?”

Bruce mentally groaned. The last thing he wanted to do was recall the face of that psycho. “Skinny, just under six foot.. He wears tweed and has glasses.”

“Do you know anything that could help me narrow down the search? The library opens at 6 AM. Is he usually at Arkham then?”

“He doesn’t have a real schedule. He just comes to Arkham a couple times a day. John’s had therapy with him any time from 10 AM to 6 PM.”

“This guy sounds really shady.” More silence and some typing. “I’m fast-forwarding through literally hours of footage since he first started to work here. Nothing yet.”

“He is shady.” Bruce replied. “But Arkham doesn’t care. Leland seems to be the only good doctor there. She actually cares.”

“She was… what, fired from being John’s doctor?”

“Basically, but it doesn’t fit Arkham’s usual pattern.” Bruce’s brows furrowed together. “This whole thing just… At first I thought it was because of John’s breakdown. For the first few days after everything happened I thought I was kept from seeing John because of safety, but the moment I met Crane…”

“You think he did it on purpose?” Tiffany sounded genuinely curious. “I’m listening. Continue.”

“Doesn’t it all just seem a little…” Bruce hesisted, trying to find the correct word. “...a little convenient? The day after everything with Joker, they announced that John had a court date in just three days. At the time, I thought maybe they were just afraid he would break out of custody and wanted to get him into Arkham as soon as possible, but court dates usually take weeks to set, and for cases like John, the actual trial usually takes multiple days.”

She was silent as she listened, then she let out a soft sigh. “Damn, that’s true. I remember, it was just one day, right? It was all over the news. ...We never talked about it.”

Bruce ran a hand down his face. It was pouring outside that day. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about the blank look on John’s face as he walked into the room. The way his eyes began to shine with tears that threatened to fall as the judge read out the charges against him. “It was just one day. Then he was brought back to Arkham. I’m still John’s emergency contact, so they legally had to tell me that Crane would be his primary doctor.”

“Earlier you said something about this not fitting Arkham’s usual pattern?”

“Arkham is short on staff. Do you really think they would hire an entirely new doctor just for John? Why not just keep Leland? Hiring a new person for one patient makes no sense. The staff already is badly paid, and my donations are only helping somewhat.”

“Maybe he got a special deal with the university and Arkham?”

“Remember, no one liked him at school. They all thought he was crazy. It’s already weird that the university hired him, and with Arkham going out of the way to hire a new doctor for just one patient..”

“When you say all that, yeah, it does sound weird. It is convenient. All that backlash and his own school hires him, Arkham brings a new doctor on board when it can barely pay the staff already there… I think you’re onto something, Bruce.”

“At this point, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad one… Anything on that security footage?”

“Nothing at all. He hasn't even come into the library yet.”

Bruce hesitated. “Can you send the files to the computer? I can look through them here. You should check out Crane’s office. I’m sure he has one, considering he’s a professor.”

“I… that actually sounds like a solid idea. Just give me a minute to start the transfer.”

“Remember to loop over the feed with extra footage so you're not seen before you leave.”

“...You're really not planning on getting back out here any time soon?”

Bruce let out a breath. “You know where this conversation leads.”

“Bruce, you can do so much good. Batman helped Gotham so much. This investigation would be a whole lot easier if you got back into the field with me.”

“You’ve got it under control. I don’t need to be out there to help you.”

She sighed softly, and Bruce heard the familiar notification that she was sending him the files. “It’s not about me, Bruce. Gotham needs you. Batman is part of who you are.”

Bruce felt that uncomfortable tightness in his chest. “Ok, so maybe Batman did do good for Gotham. Maybe he did help. But Batman also hurt Gotham. Joker was created because of Batman. Batman was one of the first people outside of Thomas Wayne’s circle to find out what he was really doing before he died. Then Batman found out why Thomas and Martha Wayne were killed. If Batman didn’t exist, then maybe the story would’ve come out in a different way. Things with the Children of Arkham would’ve been different.”

“But in the end, it was Batman who stopped them.”

“Only because I was directly targeted.”

Tiffany sighed. “Will you ever stop beating yourself up over this?”

“Crime rates are low. GCPD is on top of things. You can handle it. Gotham doesn't need me.”

“But so many people still don't trust the system. Batman gave them hope when the police failed them. The people still need that hope. There's a reason why the news still brings Batman up at least once every day. Trust me. In the long run, the good that Batman did outweighs the bad.”

“We’re done talking about this.”

Bruce began to look through the files Tiffany sent, and after a moment she sighed softly. “Fine. I'm covering my tracks and then I'll head to Crane’s office.”

“I'll let you know if I find anything.”

There was a few minutes of silence before Tiffany spoke again. “I'll just have to get Alfred to convince you.”

Bruce lifted his head slightly. “I… what?”

“To get back into the field. The only person you listen to is him.”

“He knows I have no intention of getting back out there.” Bruce heard shuffling and figured Tiffany was going to find Crane’s office.

“Suit yourself, but I know you’re getting back out there eventually.”

Another few minutes of awkward silence. “Hey… I gotta ask… Earlier, you asked me to find anything on human experimentations and the government. You’re not turning into one of those people that thinks the government is full of lizard-people, right?” Bruce could hear amusement in the last question.

“No, and I don’t plan on it.” Bruce paused the security footage he was going through. “Just… everything with The Agency and SANCTUS… The Agency is a U.S. government body, and by further extent, so was SANCTUS. I’m just wondering if they recreated SANCTUS, or something similar to it.”

“...Do you think John was part of a project or a group?”

“Or Crane. They both just… appeared. Crane under weird circumstances with a bad past, and John with no past at all.”

“Right, no records.”

“None. That’s why his name is John Doe. He doesn’t remember his past or his name. He just woke up in Arkham one day.”

“I’m not gonna be the first to admit it to his face, but he’s a pretty good fighter… a damn good one at that, actually. Did he just pick that up from Arkham?”

Bruce had begun to look at the security footage again. “He told me he’s always just… known. It helped him a lot in Arkham during fights, but he also admitted there were times where he threw the first punch. So, no, he didn’t just pick it up.”

“The whole experimentation thing, maybe being part of a group or project… it makes sense.” She was talking more to herself, thinking aloud. “His appearance, his skills..”

“When I first joined The Pact Bane wasn’t too happy with me. The EMP device I helped John and Harley steal from Wayne Tower- John set it off as a distraction.” Bruce said. “Because it’s my tech, they figured I knew how to fix it, and I did. John later claimed that he accidentally set it off.”

“..There’s no way he did it accidentally. My father put a ton of safeguards on that thing.”

“Trust me, I know.”

A few more minutes until Tiffany spoke again. “What the..?”

“You found something?”

“More like found nothing. Just got into Crane’s office and the place is surprisingly empty. There’s barely anything on the bookshelf- just his own papers. Tamer ones at that. Gonna hop on his computer.”

“Tamer? None of his papers on new torture methods are on display?”

“Yeah. You’d think a guy like him would be eager to show them to all of his students. Then again, he’s probably at least somewhat trying to be discreet…”

Bruce watched the security footage, letting Tiffany work in silence. Something caught his eye. “Is that..?” Bruce zoomed in the footage. There was Crane, tweed and all.

“You found him?”

Bruce pulled up something on another monitor. “Yes, but he wasn’t in the psychology or psychiatry section. He was in the chemistry one. What he gave John… it was something he called T-09…”

“And in his writings he talked about giving hallucogenic drugs to people to torture them, make them see their worst fears..”

“Likely the dose he gave John was a first attempt. This footage is recent, he’s trying to perfect it.” Bruce felt his chest tighten. “He used John as a test subject... A guinea pig for his sick idea..” He clenched and unclenched his fists. No, he would not break down. Not now.

“Bruce.. This is so much bigger than we thought, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know if he has plans to go on a larger scale, but he is planning something very big, yes. He’s obsessed with this idea.”

“There’s nothing on his computer, he’s completely covering his tracks. Only GU stuff… do you think he knows?”

“John won’t say anything, he’ll try to play along with Crane as best as he can next time that he sees him. He’ll pretend to still be under the drug’s influence if he can.” Bruce replied. “But Crane will find out something’s off. John can brush off one visit from me, he can lie and say we fought, but even a second one will be suspicious.”

Bruce sat back. “He does know that his first attempt didn’t work as planned. What he talked about was making someone see their fears and going mad from it, being unable to function. John may have seen one of his fears, but he came out of it upset, not scared.”

“Didn’t you say he was convinced that you didn’t love him?”

“Yes. He was just convinced, his brain chemistry thrown off entirely, but his fear didn’t conquer him.”

“Crane knows it didn’t work… he must’ve been looking for anything that could help him in the chemistry part of the library.”

Bruce glanced at the footage again. Crane looked through a few books, throwing them down in disgust and eventually storming off empty-handed. “Clearly didn’t find what he needed. I’m not surprised, but he might be a bit desperate as well. I mean, why would GU’s library have anything that would really help him?”

“Agreed.” A few mouse clicks. “Drive is clean. No mention of Arkham or any fear-related projects. The guy’s paranoid. Must be keeping everything on a personal drive… should I track down where he lives?”

“Yes, but come back. I’ll try to see what time he teaches so you can head over there when he’s not home.”

“Got it… I’m sure I could really use your help tomorrow investigating his place.” Tiffany replied, the tiniest bit of optimism in her voice.

“..Looks like he’ll be at school from 10 to 5 tomorrow.”

She sighed softly. “Thanks for letting me know.”

***

Bruce held the bag in one hand, adjusting his tie with the other. He watched as the door to John’s cell opened, and when he stepped in, he felt John practically crash into him before he actually saw him.

“Bruce!”

The taller man wrapped his arms around John as the door shut. “Hey.”

John squeezed him tightly before pulling away. He took Bruce’s left hand into his right, and Bruce couldn’t help the wave of guilt that washed over him upon seeing John’s hand. Sure, it was healed, but the physical scars weren’t the bad ones. “Is that for me?” John gestured to the bag in Bruce’s other hand.

“We should sit down.”

“Sure!”

John grinned as he pulled Bruce over to his bed, sitting down. Bruce sat next to him. “This is… these are for you.” He handed him the bag and John turned it over, reading the label.

“You got me chocolate?” John blinked at the package, then at Bruce.

“Yeah.. so you can have something sweet to eat between meals.” Bruce offered him a small smile.

John grinned at him, opening the package. He took out one of the truffles and unpackaged it, and his eyes lit up at the flavor when he popped it into his mouth. “Wow, Bruce… this is really good. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome.”

John held the open bag up to Bruce, pointing it towards him.

Bruce sighed softly, not bothering to decline the offer. He took one for himself. It was sweet, delicious. Of course he knew that. He would only get the best for John.

“What’s wrong?” John blinked at him, tilting his head. Bruce’s brows furrowed together slightly.

“Hm?”

“You’re thinking about something.”

It was true. Bruce was looking John up and down. He looked so skinny, and his Arkham uniform just… wasn’t him.

“I'm worried, I guess.” It felt weird to say out loud, Bruce couldn't remember the last time he’d said it.

“About..?” John spoke softly.

Bruce let out a soft sigh. “I think that something big is happening.”

John tilted his head as he ate another chocolate. “What happened?” Bruce glanced at the camera in the corner, and John’s eyes followed his gaze.

“Tiffany really wants Batman to come back.” Bruce said.

John leaned against Bruce, his cheek pressed against his shoulder. “I wish we’d had more time together, you know. Batman and I.”

“How many times did you even talk to him?”

John’s voice turned sad, no anger at all. “Not even a handful before the bridge, but, I knew him for a couple years. Followed him ever since the beginning. He… I wish I could talk to him again. Last time I saw him was at Ace… right after I’d just tried to kill him.”

Bruce felt John begin to shake against him, so he put his arm around him and held him. “..What would you say to him?”

John was silent for a moment, then his voice came out shaky. “That.. I want him to know that what happened at Ace.. what happened with Joker.. I know I already said this, but I want him to know that none of that was his fault. I… I said things to him that I wouldn’t normally say. I was just so… angry. I just wanted to help people and I ended up killing so many more.”

John looked up at Bruce. “I… I almost killed him. And what if one of the people killed at the GCPD building was you? I almost killed Batman after I betrayed his trust… after all that talk of bringing people to justice with him… I just.. I just wanted to be a hero.”

“John..”

“I was so… so stupid!” John let out a soft laugh then took a shaky breath. “I was so dumb.. I just wanted to fight crime like he did.. Have people look up to me like people looked up to him.. Be cool like him. And I wanted..” His voice broke and he let out a soft sob. “Maybe.. One day.. Even if it was just for a second, just one tiny second.. I wanted him to love me the way I love him.” John let out another sad laugh. “Heh… I guess that shows you just how crazy I really am, huh?”

Bruce pulled him closer and John turned, sobbing into his shoulder. Bruce didn’t know what to say. He could say a million things and he wasn’t sure if any words would be enough. “You’re not crazy. I’m sure he knows that.”

“I hope he’s safe, wherever he is.” John pulled away slightly, wiping his eyes. “You think he’s safe? Living a normal life?”

He is safe.

“I’m sure he is. He probably just wants to be alone for a while. You know how he is.” Bruce replied.

“Being alone for a long time can be really bad. Humans are social animals.”

“He probably has at least one person working with him.”

John cleared his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go off like that.”

“It’s ok. It’s important to talk about it.”

“What were you talking about earlier? Something big? I guess you can’t talk about your work, huh?” Bruce knew he didn’t mean his CEO work.

“You know… company business. Expansions.” He couldn’t go into details, not in Arkham.

“Oh, I see.”

“Actually… there’s something..” Bruce adjusted his position on the bed, speaking softer than he had been. “Before what happened with the Children of Arkham, Harvey and I were planning on opening a hospital to replace Arkham. A real one.”

John nodded slowly. “Yeah, I heard a few rumors, saw it on TV. Never happened, though.”

“No, it didn’t, but… I’m still determined to make it happen.” The corners of Bruce’s mouth turned up slightly. “I’ve been working on it for a few months. I haven’t officially said anything, but I figured you should be the first to know.”

John practically beamed. “Really?”

“Yes.” Bruce took John’s hand and interlocked their fingers. “New building, new staff, new equipment… I want you and the other people here to actually get the help and attention you need.”

John wrapped his free arm around Bruce’s neck, burying his face in his shoulder again. “Gosh, Bruce.. I really couldn’t have fallen in love with a better guy, could I…”

Bruce kissed John’s head, taking a moment to breathe in his scent. “I’m going to announce it tomorrow. We’ve completed a lot of the official stuff. Paperwork, all that. Bought the land and everything.”

John’s shoulders fell. “Bruce… you really are, like, the best guy ever.”

Bruce squeezed his hand. “It’s the least I can do.”

“..You’ll keep Doctor Leland on staff, right?” John asked.

“Of course.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before John spoke again, speaking softly so the camera had less of a chance of picking up what he said. “What about our mutual friend?”

Bruce slipped his phone out of his pocket as discreetly as he could, unlocking it and going to the notes app. He began to type, and John positioned himself so the camera hopefully couldn’t see what he was doing. Bruce turned his phone and John looked at it.

‘His drug is a first trial, didn’t work after attempt with you so he’s trying to fix it’

John typed a message back. ‘What’s the drug?’

‘TL;DR, he’s creating a drug that shows people their greatest fears and renders them unable to function. Wants the govt to use it for torture’

John’s eyes widened as he read, and he looked at Bruce in shock. ‘I have therapy today.’

‘Pretend you’re still under the drug’s influence. If he asks about me visiting yesterday and today, lie and say we fought.’

John nodded and swallowed thickly before typing again. ‘I feel like I know him from somewhere.’

Bruce’s eyes flickered from the screen, to John, back to the screen. They could talk about this. “You have a few memories of your time before Arkham?”

John shrugged. “I think so? It’s just a blur mostly, but a few images come out clear. I’ve been getting them recently, just within the past week, but I don’t know if they’re memories.”

“Anything is better than nothing.”

John got a far away look in his eyes suddenly. “Staring up at a bright ceiling… flashes of light.. Pinches in my arms, like a needle or something.. I just know his face. It’s like we’ve met before.”

“Maybe you have.” Bruce replied.

John looked out the window, then sighed softly. “Once or twice I’ve seen.. People… scientists? People in white lab coats watching me.”

Bruce glanced at the door. “..Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Running… On a treadmill, like it’s a test.”

“Are you passing?”

John was silent, before he looked over at Bruce. “I think so.”

“Is Crane there?”

John’s eyes widened after a second, like he’d just remembered something crucial. “He’s the one that tells me I did a good job.”

***

“Where does he live, again?”

“That place across the river. Sunset Acres.”

Bruce was back down in the cave, and Tiffany was at Crane’s apartment. She’d parked her drone outside for a few hours, watching Crane leave. The curtains were all drawn, and from the drone’s point of view, she couldn’t see inside.

She was now going in, picking the lock on his front door. “Luckily no one’s around. This place is pretty empty anyway.”

He heard the lock click and she stepped inside, gently shutting the door. “What am I looking for besides a laptop and research?”

“Anything that could point to his job before GU and Arkham, stuff from when he went underground. It was for a couple of years at least. He graduated GU in 1995, then went underground sometime in 2000.”

“God, this place is a mess, papers everywhere. Alfred would be having a fit if he saw this.” She was clearly moving to find a bedroom or a study. “Ugh, his room’s even worse.”

She began to search around, and it was obvious by the amount of shuffling that a lot of things were piled up. “Books, papers, nothing useful..” She picked something up. “A picture.. Oh, wait!”

“What?”

A few button presses. “I just finished this at work today! It’s still in the early works, but I did a few tests and it’s ok so far.”

Suddenly, the view of a picture came onto one of Bruce’s monitors. It was clear that Tiffany was holding the picture, and Bruce saw a nightstand in the background. The words ‘T-1’ were in the corner of the screen. Bruce raised his eyebrows.

“Tiffany, you’ve been working on a live feed?”

“Yup! Like I said, it’s not perfect, so I might cut in and out. Anyway, does this look like Crane?” She brought the picture closer. It was definitely of a younger Crane, surrounded by four other people, three men and one woman. It looked like they were in a lab of some sort, and Crane was actually smiling.

“It’s him. Does the picture have a timestamp in the corner?”

Tiffany popped it out of the frame, and on the back there was writing. “‘June 10th, 2003, phase 2 complete, team.’ ...Maybe a group he was doing research with? A team?”

“I guess so. I’ll run facial recognition on them all.”

Tiffany put the picture and frame back, and began to search the room again. They were silent, Bruce looking through her point of view for anything as facial recognition ran. The room was filled with books of all subjects, but none of Crane’s own work.

“I’m going to find a study.” Tiffany announced. Twenty minutes of searching brought them nothing. She went back out to the rest of the apartment, opening the door outside the bedroom. It was a bathroom, so she shut it and turned down the rest of the hall-

-or rather, the five feet that was left. She tapped something on her arm and began to feel the walls, probably looking for hidden panels. “This place is tiny.”

“No hidden areas?”

More tapping, and her drone came into view. “I must’ve missed something.” It began to do longer scans as she made her way to the living room and tiny kitchen. She picked up a pile of papers. “‘Study on how sleep alters our ability to make decisions..’ ‘How memories are stored…’ ‘How trauma changes people…’” She dropped the pile, moving onto the next one. “‘Greatest chemists of our time..’ ‘Weirdest accidental inventions…’ Wait… what?”

Bruce looked at the monitor again. “‘How memories are stored..’ wait, you just saw that one. Did you pick it up accidentally?”

The view shook side to side. “No, it’s right there in the first pile..” She put down the second pile and picked up a third. “The inventions paper is here again. So is the chemist one. Why would he have multiple copies of the same papers?”

A small amount of realization dawned on Bruce. “To just add to the clutter.”

“He’s trying to throw us off?”

“He’s trying to throw off anyone who starts to dig. So, yes, he’s trying to throw us off.”

“So he knows we’re onto him.”

“Or maybe he’s just always taken the precaution… I’m really hoping that it’s that.”

Suddenly, there was a soft beep. Tiffany looked down at her arm. “Drone found something.” She went back down the hall, only to find it empty. She glanced in the bathroom, then turned to the bedroom. “It found something in here.”

She stepped inside and walked over to it. It was scanning a wall, and from the view, Bruce and Tiffany could both see clearly a fairly large hidden room behind the wall. “Got it.”

She began to tap on the wall as the drone searched for an entry point. It beeped again after a minute, highlighting a box on the wall.

The box was hidden under some peeling wallpaper. Tiffany tugged on it slowly, but after realizing it had been peeled back many times, she peeled it back completely. There was a small button on the box and she pressed it.

She stepped back and part of the wall separated and moved back a few inches, before completely sliding away like a sliding door. “Whoa.”

She stepped into the lab. In the corner sat a desk with piles on it, but it was far neater than the rest of the apartment. One wall was lined with lamps hanging down over tables, and as Tiffany approached she gasped softly. There were mushrooms growing in soil. “Bruce.. These..” She held out her hand and scanned one. “Hallucinogenic mushrooms. Shit!”

Bruce swore himself, rubbing his hand down his face. “Ok, ok.”

“Should I destroy them?” Tiffany asked. “I don’t.. If I destroy them, he’ll know someone’s onto him, but I might slow down his research. If I don’t-”

“Destroy them.” Bruce replied. No hesitation. “We can’t let him perfect his formula. He’ll find out that someone knows, but it’s worth it.”

She began to uproot the plants. “I’ll dump them in the garbage disposal. Do you think it’ll set him back that much?”

“I don’t know where he gets them from, so it’s hard to say. Hopefully it will.”

After uprooting them, she went back to the kitchen and dropped them in the disposal, turning it on and flushing them down the sink. “That’s all of them. He had quite the supply.”

She went back to the lab, and Bruce realized facial recognition had found no results. “What the hell..?”

Tiffany was looking at the desk. “What’s up?”

“Those faces didn’t match with anyone.”

“...The picture isn’t very clear. Maybe I can find a clearer one.” She began to look at the papers taped to the upper part of the desk.

“The software is good enough. The picture can be very blurry and it still works.”

“So that means something isn’t right.”

“Yes.”

She sighed softly and began to look through drawers in the desk. The first one was completely empty.

She opened another one, and something instantly caught her eye. She picked it up. It was another photo of a younger Crane and his team, only this time, a new face was in it. While everyone in the other picture was clearly an adult, anywhere between their mid-twenties and mid-thirties, this new face was young.

Tiffany turned over the photo. “‘June 10th, 2003, phase 2 complete’. These are the same people in the other photograph. This was taken on the same day!”

“There’s someone new in the photo. Turn it over again.” Bruce said, and suddenly, he realized his heart was thudding in his chest.

She turned it back over. There was the team. Crane, the same three men and the same woman, but right between Crane and the woman was the new face. Young. A boy.

He was grinning, dark short hair.

Bruce spoke without realizing it. “Bring it up to a light.”

Tiffany moved to the lights that had been shining down on the mushrooms, and she held it closer to her face.

The boy had a wide grin, and the brightest green eyes Bruce had ever seen.

“ _Holy shit_.”

“Bruce? What’s up?”

Bruce’s eyes widened, and he sat back in his chair. “Tiffany… I..”

“Do you recognize the lab? The other scientists?”

“Tiffany… that kid in the picture.. I think.. I think that’s _John_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry if there's any grammar mistakes! I finally found the time to finish this chapter, and I wanted to post it ASAP ;;;>->  
> But yes! Finally I finished it after a month!! I'll be honest, I had an entirely different idea for the last scene, but I'll probably just put it in a later chapter. I'm so sorry for the month-long wait, I was away for 5 days at the start of this month and couldn't write, and I wrote Mirror over the span of 2 days which took time away from this. Sigh. I'm such a goof. Thank you so much for putting up with me, and thanks for reading!  
> Also the spacing on this chapter and probably all of them from here on out will be weird. I've been just copy pasting in the HTML tab, but I put this in the Rich Text one instead to start off, so everything is way more spaced out. Lucky me lol.


	7. Chapter 7

“What? No way. That’s not John.” Is all Tiffany said.

Bruce’s head felt cloudy. He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say. “It.. it is him. John’s younger than me, only by a couple years, though. And- and..”

Bruce cut off. He was starting to panic. He felt his heart thud in his chest, his breathing sporadic. What the hell did they do to him- what did they do to John?!

Bruce slammed his hands on the console in front of him, his body reacting faster than his brain could. He buried his face in his hands, trying to breathe slowly and evenly to calm himself down.

“Bruce, the picture doesn’t prove anything..”

“Fuck!!” All Bruce felt was anger. Anger towards these scientists. They were monsters. “They.. they threw John away… they experimented on him then threw him away like he was fucking trash!”

“Bruce..”

Bruce stood up. He had only felt this angry twice in his life: when he found out about his father’s crimes and right after his parents died. He’d been angry plenty of other times: when he was starting to get over the death of his parents and he had a fight with Alfred, when he saw kids at school being mistreated, all the times he threw temper tantrums as a kid over stupid things.

Bruce had always tried to suppress it all. He’d always tried to hide how he felt, hide away from everything and everyone, but his anger did boil over more than once.

In college, he’d gotten much better at staying calm and handling himself. He’d started meditation, which helped him stay calm in tough situations.

Now that was all thrown out the window. Every emotion he’d had since that day at Ace, every thought he had of John being alone in Arkham. It all came to this, and part of him knew they were barely scratching the surface.

But he was so angry. And so tired.

He began to pace, trying to do something- anything- to distract himself. “It makes sense. He was an experiment- a project- something. Crane is back for either round two or something else, I don’t know-”

“Bruce.” Tiffany’s voice came out sharply. “I’m going through his files… I.. take a break. Please. You’re clearly in distress. You need to tell Alfred and Iman what we’ve found out.”

Bruce stood still. He was so tense, so upset. “I… I need to be here for you to report back to.”

“I’ll be fine. Just get Alfred and call Iman. I’ll send all these files, ASAP. His computer is pretty well protected, but I can crack into it easily.”

Bruce took a deep breath, then another. They’d discovered something huge. His voice came out weaker than he wanted it to. “I… I was kinda just hoping that I was kidding myself.. That I’d never find out and never need to find out and I’d be ok with that, but now..”

“Bruce. Go.”

He took one last glance at the computer. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m going.” He shook his head and began to make his way up to the manor.

He wasn’t surprised when Alfred instantly turned towards him when he entered the kitchen. He knew he was radiating anger and confusion, and Alfred knew him too well.

“Bruce?”

Bruce crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen counter, looking down. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Alfred. “Tiff… Tiffany’s been checking out Crane’s place and we found some information.”

Alfred looked over at his son. “What about?”

“Can you just-” Bruce sighed, glancing up at him. “..Please go down to the cave.”

Alfred looked his son up and down before leaving the kitchen. Bruce closed his eyes. This was too much.

He pulled out his phone and called Iman. He’d promised he’d keep her in the loop.

“Bruce, what’s-?”

“Iman, how fast can you get here?”

“Well, I can take a sick day the rest of the day and be there in probably twenty.”

“Do it. Tiffany went to Crane’s place and…” Bruce took a deep breath. “This… everything is bigger than we thought.”

“What’s wrong? What do you mean?”

“Tiffany found a photo that we’re almost certain links John directly to Crane… before his time in Arkham.”

Iman was silent, but Bruce heard her shuffling, gathering her things. “I… oh, god.. I’m leaving now. I’ll be there ASAP.”

“Thank you.”

He took another deep breath. He was going to wait there for Iman. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to be down there as Tiffany discovered more information.

Iman looked him over when he walked over to her. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. What happened? You.. really don’t look too good.” She brushed back some of her hair. “What is the photo of?”

He led her into the manor. “We found on photo of him and a team of four other scientists, dated June 10th, 2003. Tiffany found a lab hidden in his apartment, and after finding hallucinogenic mushrooms and killing them, she found another photo.”

They were beginning to descend into the cave. “This one… it’s dated June 10th, 2003 again and Crane’s with the same team, only this time, there’s a boy in the photo with them.”

“Does the boy look like John?” Iman asked softly.

Bruce crossed his arms and glanced at her. “His eyes are the exact same color.. I just know it’s him, Iman. Both photos also say ‘phase two complete’ on the back.”

Iman cursed in Farsi. “Taken on the same day, same exact team.. What the hell is going on?”

Bruce shook his head. “I.. I just..”

“Wait, you mentioned hallucinogenic mushrooms.” Iman said quickly, probably trying to change the subject somewhat.

“Yeah.. likely going to be used for his drug he’s trying to create.” The elevator stopped and the two walked off, already spotting Alfred at the computer. “I’m hoping that because Tiffany destroyed them it will slow down his work, but I’m not sure.”

“..this is everything! All his work is here. All his papers, every experiment he was ever a part of..!” Tiffany was clearly a bit shocked, going through just a handful of files. The video feed was starting to cut a bit.

“Whoa, this folder’s labeled ‘Fear Toxin’. It’s massive.”

Bruce looked over at Alfred. “What’s she found?”

“His external hard drive, it appears.” His tone turned bitter. “She.. told me about the photos she found. She… even found two more.”

He gave Iman a polite nod and she returned it with a small smile. “She found more?”

“Right here.” Tiffany turned away from the file quickly to grab two photos off the desk. One was of the same team the other two had, but they looked younger. The second one showed the younger team again, this time with an even younger version of the boy. “It’s… they’re both dated April 24th, 2000, and say ‘phase one complete’ on the back.”

Iman mumbled something to herself in Farsi.

“That’s.. That’s him.” Bruce said after a moment, casting his eyes to the floor.

The video cut for a second again as Tiffany put the photos down. “I’m sorry, boss.”

“Just keep going through his hard drive.” Bruce said quickly. “What was that file called?”

“‘Fear Toxin’.” She clicked back to it and pulled up the first files she saw. A few documents appeared, showing what looked like information on mushrooms, directly pulled from scientific documents. “Whoa. These are exactly the same ones I saw earlier.” The video cut again. “Dammit, I’m losing you guys. I’ll have to cut the feed.”

“It’s fine.” Bruce said. “Just keep looking.”

“Should I transfer any files that I find?”

“No.” Iman spoke sharply. “No, we can’t risk that. He probably already knows that someone hacked into his hard drive. He… oh, god, he might cut classes for the day to get home if he’s found out.”

“Cut classes? So, I might not have two hours left before he gets home?”

Bruce sighed, running a hand down his face. “Dammit, dammit, I should’ve known- Tiff, get out of there.”

“Will do. I’ll have to replace the encryption he had on his computer, but it should only take a second.” They heard typing and clicks from her end. “Ok.. done. I’m going.”

Bruce heard the wall slide back again and Tiffany began to walk down the hall to the front door. They heard it open and shut and Tiffany spoke in a hushed voice. “I’m out. Don’t see him but I’m not taking chances.”

“Get back here as soon as you can.” Bruce said, and he realized how exhausted he sounded.

“You got it.”

Bruce went back upstairs to clear his head. He hadn’t really calmed down any, and now that there was a chance of Crane knowing someone hacked his files, he was even more on edge.

Bruce rarely drank. He really only did it at social events, and even then he was reluctant. He couldn’t afford to be drunk if he had to rush out on patrol, plus it wasn’t really worth the hangover the next morning.

Bruce stood up and went over to the cabinets, pulling out some random bottle. He was grabbing a glass when he heard someone approach. He looked over expecting to see a very disapproving Alfred, but Iman was there instead.

“You look like you could use a couple of those.” She pointed out.

“I… don’t really drink.” Bruce said defensively. “I just..”

“Bruce, I’m not gonna tell anyone.” Iman said. “And it’s not a tragedy if you have one. Or a couple. You’re in a bad state, right now. No one can blame you for being upset.”

“I can blame myself for being upset.”

“That’s because you can blame yourself for everything.” She sighed softly. “Don’t… don’t do this to yourself. The photos could mean nothing- maybe John’s parents were in the group of scientists and he just took a liking to their work.”

He could tell she was trying to comfort him. It was true, they didn’t have any hard evidence, but Crane was such a douche that Bruce really didn’t enjoy the idea of him knowing John as a kid.

Bruce poured a small amount into the glass and he chuckled bitterly after a moment. “I.. I don’t know if I want to cry or beat Crane to a pulp. Part of me never really wanted to know John’s past, but now… now we need to know.” He downed his drink, which wasn’t a great idea. That stuff tasted awful.

“It’s ok to not know how to feel.” Iman replied. “You’re angry, you’ve been upset for weeks. I’m surprised you haven’t broken down yet, honestly. I know you’re good at covering that all up.”

She sighed softly. “I don’t wanna sound like a doctor, or a therapist, or anything like that, but we’re all here to support you, Bruce, including if you put the suit back on. You should really get some rest. You’re exhausted.”

Bruce let out a breath he’d been holding. Sleep did sound really nice right now, even though it was the middle of the day. He felt like he would crash at any second. He gave her a small smile. “Thanks, Iman.”

Just as Bruce was putting the bottle away, Tiffany was in the doorway of the kitchen, panting softly. “Guys… on the news..” She tapped on her tablet and handed it to Iman.

Bruce looked down at the tablet when Iman gasped softly. She turned up the volume on the news report.

“-too unstable for the fire department to use to get to the upper floors to rescue anyone still trapped inside. More backup is along the way as we speak…”

Bruce blocked out the reporter’s voice, instead fixating on the footage that was being shown. This couldn’t be real.

It was Arkham, but it was on fire. It was burning.

“It’s difficult to see in this footage, but there’s also some sort of colored gas coming from the asylum. A few staff members escaped when the fire started and are unharmed. Those who’ve been rescued from the fire by first responders appear to be having psychotic episodes, patients and staff alike. We will try to keep you updated with new information as it comes in…”

Bruce pulled himself away from the tablet. He had to do it.

He had to.

Tiffany and Iman followed after him. “Where are you-?”

“I have to get there.” Bruce cut in sharply, and within seconds the three of them were in the elevator.

Tiffany’s eyes lit up. She was still in her gear. “Does that mean… I’m coming with you!”

Alfred turned to them as they got off the elevator, different news stations on each monitor. Bruce shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

Tiffany let out a frustrated groan. “I can help-”

“It’s a fire, and likely Crane’s second attempt at his so-called Fear Toxin was released as well. You are not going with me.” Bruce replied.

“Bruce-”

“I’m not going to put you in danger! You’re staying here, and that’s final.”

Tiffany lowered her gaze, sighing softly. “..Alright.”

Bruce turned to Alfred, and he knew that this conversation was probably going to be one of the worst he’d ever had.

“Al… I.. I have to go.” Bruce felt weak saying it. He’d promised Alfred he was done. He’d promised and now he was going to break it, but he had to. “They can’t get up to the upper floors… there’s still so many people left inside..”

Alfred sighed. “I’ve been.. wondering ever since the night that we talked.. I’ve been wondering when you’ll have to break your promise to me. I’ve always hoped that you’d never have to, but part of me always knew you would eventually.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

***

Batman. It had been weeks since anyone had seen him.

The drive to Arkham felt too short. Bruce wasn’t even speeding that much. He felt the adrenaline, and was already thinking of a plan. He hopefully wouldn’t have to worry about the gas, but getting people out of Arkham would be difficult. If they were having psychotic episodes, then Bruce would have to worry about them struggling against him, which would slow him down.

He wasn’t surprised to see almost all the heads in the crowd turn to see him pull up. As he got out, he already heard gasps and people calling out to him.

“Batman?!”

“Oh my god, it’s Batman! He’s back!”

Bruce looked over at the asylum. The flames were bright against the cloudy afternoon sky, and he saw a reddish gas coming from the building. He made his way over to the police line, and there was Commissioner Gordon, looking at him in shock.

“Jim.”

“Well I’ll be damned..” Gordon replied. “Batman..”

“Later.” Bruce cut in sharply. “What’s the situation?”

Jim looked over at the building. “Fire department can’t get inside. With how old the building is and how fast it’s spread, they’re trying to decide if they can risk it.”

“Attempts to put it out?” There were multiple fire trucks around with houses out.

“Fire just keeps catching again. They’re gonna give it another go in a minute or so.”

“Who’s made it out?”

“Thirty people- mostly just staff and patients on the first floor who got out when it first started.” There was some shouting and suddenly the trucks were all spraying again.

“Any idea what the gas is?”

“No clue, but anyone who’s gotten out since the fire really spread has been freaking out. Screaming at the top of their lungs about something only they can see. Connected, I’m sure.” Jim sighed. “You’re going in, aren’t you.”

“I am.” Bruce was trying to see through the smoke and water where the best entrance would be. He saw a broken window that he could easily grapple to.

“I’m not gonna bother asking where you’ve been, and I dunno if this is a one time thing… but it’s good to have you back.” The water stopped spraying.

“Good seeing you, Jim.”

Bruce ran up to the asylum and unhooked his grapple gun from his belt. He put on his gas mask before he shot it at the window, and it pulled him upward.

Bruce stepped into the hallway, looking around. It was extremely hard to see, but he could make out two figures on the floor. Thus, Bruce began to evacuate as many people as possible.

The walls were crumbling a bit, as was the floor. The fire was spreading, and the smoke and gas made it difficult to see, even with the cowl on. Bruce felt fine, but he had to watch his step, not wanting the floor to give in.

After grappling back down to the ground with someone for the third time, a group of first responders gathered to help survivors get away from the building.

“Send a small team to check the first floor again!” Bruce called down after he was sure he cleared that section of the hall. “This place is bigger than you’d think, there’s bound to be a flight of stairs that’s stable!”

Bruce continued down the hall. He hadn’t seen Leland, and if John had gotten out he would’ve pushed past the police to see him.

Doing this alone was not easy. It was extremely hot in the building, and Bruce knew he was losing time every second. Most of the survivors were thrashing and screaming like Jim said, or completely silent and limp with blank expressions.

Every time Bruce brought someone else out, he saw more and more survivors being saved by the GCFD. Bruce guessed they were people who’d made their way to the first floor in the past twenty minutes, considering he had no indication that anyone had made their way to the second aside from him.

More and more ambulances were arriving, and just as Bruce grappled back into the building, his comms turned on.

“Batman?”

“I’m here.” It was Alfred.

“You’ve been silent. Are you alright?”

Bruce heard some rubble fall behind him. “Been better.” He heard shouts of “Over here, over here! Go, go, go!”

“The FD finally found a way up to the second floor.” Now he had to tackle the third floor. Bruce ran to a window at the end of the hall. He broke it and jumped down to the roof of another part of the asylum. He grappled to a window on the third floor.

Another voice cut into his comms. “Batman, the GCFD just found a way to the second floor. An official headcount out here has us at thirty staff members and forty-seven- make that forty-eight patients. Four and ten are left respectively.”

Bruce was never so relieved to remember that at least half of Arkham’s wings were shut down and under lock and key. The building looked massive, and it was, but it held so few people considering how many people escaped and how many wings were actually used.

Bruce just hoped that no one had gotten into those unused wings.

“Thanks, Jim. I’ll be out ASAP.”

Bruce cut the link and began to search for more people. Just as he saw someone curled up on the floor, part of the roof caved in. He dodged and managed to pick up the person. They were running out of time.

When he picked up this person, they were screaming, something about eyes and how they were suffocating. Bruce tightened his grip as he carried them out.

Bruce was glad the third floor had the least number of patients on it. That was part of the reason why John was probably kept up there. The next patient that Bruce was carrying was barely struggling, mumbling incoherently. He returned them safely to the ground, then returned to the building.

More sections of the roof were beginning to fall in, and Bruce was beginning to grow more and more worried by the second. He didn’t know exactly how many people were left. He didn’t know how long he’d been doing this for. He didn’t know how much longer this part of the asylum would hold.

He cleared the largest hallway on the floor, and just as he turned the corner, he bumped into something- someone- and knocked them over.

The familiar toothy grin looked up at him as another part of the roof caved in. “Bats..? Holy cow, I really did burn in the fire, didn’t I?”

Bruce scooped him up without a second thought and John giggled. “I’m being carried by Batman! The dream!” He began to cough harshly.

“You’re still alive.” Bruce said as calmly as he could. Some relief washed over him. John giggled and attempted to snuggle against Bruce’s armor.

When Bruce landed on the ground again he set John down, but John didn’t let go. He grinned up at him. “Hehe… My Bats…”

“J, let go of me.” Bruce said, and it came out sharper than he’d meant it to. “The paramedics will help you.”

John frowned, and a medic tugged on his arm, pulling him away. “B-Bats?!”

“They’ll take care of you-”

“You can’t go back in!” John pulled away from the medic and threw his arms around Bruce. “You can’t!! You’ll die!! I won’t let you!”

“It’s ok, I’ll be ok.” Bruce said softly. “Let them take care of you.” Was this John’s reaction to the gas, or was he just panicking because he was afraid of Bruce going back in?

John simply shook his head. “No, no. Stay here, please stay here…”

Someone cut into his comms again. “Batman, there’s only one patient unaccounted for.”

“I have him.” Bruce replied. “Are you sure everyone’s out?”

“Yes, now get yourself and everyone the hell away from the building!” Bruce cut the connection.

“Evac’s complete, everyone move!” Bruce called out. He looked back at John. “J, I’m not going back in. You can let go.”

John’s eyes suddenly went from wide and alert to closing slowly. Bruce grabbed him before he fell and began to carry him away from the fire.

“B… Bats..” John looked up at him sleepily.

“I’ll visit you tomorrow.” Bruce replied softly. No one was within earshot of them.

“Hehe.. love.. Love you.” John’s eyes closed and he passed out. Bruce carried him over to one of the ambulances and quickly found a stretcher to place him on.

He heard more people in the crowd shouting his name, a few with positive tones, a couple others with negative ones.

Tiffany came through his comms. “Batman, you’re on the news!”

“I can hear you smiling.”

Bruce began to push through the crowd, going back to the Batmobile. He’d gone out to help with the fire, and that was that.

As Bruce drove back to the manor, Tiffany spoke again. “Do you think the mysterious gas they’re talking about is Crane’s?”

“It has to be. He finds out that his work has been discovered. He goes to Arkham and releases his latest version of his Fear Toxin. While it immobilizes staff and patients he sets the place on fire. I don’t know if he’s trying to cover up something, kill people, or scare us, but it’s likely a combination.”

“Well, they’re not reporting any casualties.”

“Not yet, but the smoke inhalation was pretty bad, and we don’t know how else the Fear Toxin will affect people.”

“Did you feel any effects?”

“No. My mask protected me from the Toxin, but it was extremely thick. No idea how much he released.”

Bruce heard a small beep and looked at the console of the Batmobile. “I’m getting a call, hold on.”

Bruce turned off his voice modifier and answered the call. “Doctor Leland?”

“Bruce, I’m so glad I caught you.”

“Are you ok? Were you in Arkham when the fire started?”

“I wasn’t. I’m so glad Batman was there, though. He saved so many lives, including John’s apparently.”

“Really? Wait, how do you know?”

“I’m in an ambulance on the way to Gotham General. I got to Arkham right when Batman was leaving, and John was being loaded into an ambulance. I didn’t want him to be alone.”

“He’s in the ambulance with you? Is he injured?”

“He inhaled a lot of smoke, and I keep hearing talk of a mysterious gas that was coming from the asylum, but he’s not bleeding, and nothing’s broken. He’s drifting in and out of consciousness, but he keeps on mumbling about Batman- and you.”

Bruce couldn’t help but give a tiny smile at that. “I’ll visit him tomorrow. And.. I have some things I need to talk to you about.”

“I’ll be at the hospital. I have to keep an eye on my patients. I assume it has to do with… with him.”

“Yes. That’s… really all I can say at the moment.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Bruce.”

She ended the call, and Bruce was alone. It began to rain. He turned on his comms again.

“You there?”

“What’s up?” It was Tiffany again.

“Send your drone out to Crane’s place. I’m thinking he did his work at Arkham then went back home to regroup. If he’s going on the run, he’ll be gathering his research.”

“On it. How far out are you?”

“Three minutes. What’s the news saying?”

“What do you think? They’re all going on about Batman. Plenty of footage of you saving people from the fire.”

“Better than anything bad, I guess.”

When Bruce pulled into the cave, Tiffany and Iman were at the computer, looking at what Bruce figured was the drone’s live feed. It was on its way to Crane’s apartment.

“Batman, nice job.” Iman said as Bruce slipped off his cowl. “Will you be making more appearances in the recent future?”

Bruce glanced at the monitor, and Tiffany gave him a wave as she piloted the drone. “I.. If Crane keeps going on a larger scale like this, then.. Yes. At least until he’s put away. Where’s the drone?”

“Almost at the place.” Tiffany replied as it approached a small set of apartments. “I won’t get too close… there’s a car parked outside of Crane’s apartment!”

She began to lower the drone closer to the ground. All three of them were watching the screen intently, trying to get a clear look at the plate, but Bruce saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

“Movement in the front of the house.”

Iman scribbled down the plate number and the drone ascended as quickly as possible. “You sure?”

Bruce didn’t have to answer, because a moment later Crane came out of the apartment carrying a small box.

“Damn, he’s probably carrying his hard drive in there.” Tiffany said.

“Do you think he’s going on the run?” Iman asked. “He looks like he’s in a hurry.”

“He’s probably relocating.” Bruce replied. “His hard drive is probably the only thing in there, and all of his work is on there. Run the plate, see if it’s actually his.”

Tiffany moved over so Iman could enter the plate number while she still controlled the drone. After a few seconds of searching, a result came up- the car was Crane’s.

“He didn’t steal it- he’s still trying to fly under the radar.” Bruce said, mostly to himself. “Let’s follow him, see where he leads us.”

Tiffany kept the drone at a distance, keeping the car in sight while making sure the drone wasn’t spotted. Crane was taking them across the river back into the city.

“Shit, I can’t fly the drone without someone spotting it like this.” Tiffany said as taller and taller buildings surrounded the drone. Traffic was stop and go with people getting off of work. They still had eyes on the car, but it was becoming more difficult to track it with the increase in traffic.

“It’s fine.” Bruce replied. “People will think it’s from the police or from Batman.”

“Fair enough. He looks like he’s heading down to the docks.” Tiffany glanced at the street names. “This street takes him right down there.”

A large truck suddenly turned onto the street, and Tiffany hurried to fix the drone’s position to spot Crane’s car again. He turned down another street.

“Still heading for the docks.” Iman noted, and Crane broke off from the traffic, going down a tiny alley.

He came out the other side and began speeding down the much more abandoned street, heading for the edge of the city. The car pulled off and headed down a gravel road alongside the river.

The drone ascended again, now far away from traffic. After passing a few warehouses, the car took a turn down a small road and approached a small one. The car stopped outside and Bruce saw two men holding guns. Tiffany reached over and pressed a few buttons on the console, turning on the drone’s microphone as the driver’s seat door opened.

“...wondering when you’d show up.” One of the men with guns was talking to Crane as he got out of the car. “What took you so long?”

“I had the retrieve the drive.” Crane answered, clearly not thrilled by this conversation.

“You’re all over the news. Hell, you got Batman to show up.”

“Batman is no threat. He’s a man dressed up as a flying rodent.” Crane scoffed, and Bruce could hear his eye roll.

“Maybe, but he took down your friend Riddler.”

“Ed had a terrible accident, and besides, it wasn’t even Batman who killed him.” Crane’s voice actually became somewhat soft, and it was clear that he was actually talking about Riddler _fondly_. “Just let me do my job.”

He began to walk around the side of the warehouse, which had the number four on its side. Tiffany sent the drone forward, but suddenly one of the guys with a gun spotted them, pointing directly at it.

“Dammit!” Tiffany hissed, and the men began to fire at the drone. She began to dodge the bullets, but the drone got hit a few times.

“Get it out of there, I do not want Crane to get his hands on it.” Bruce said. Tiffany managed to get it out of range, sending it across the river.

“So, what do we know?” She asked.

“Crane’s obviously working with others.” Iman said. “Must be pretty important work if he’s got guns guarding it.”

“And he knew Riddler.” Bruce sighed softly. “He.. even sounded like he liked him, respected him.”

“Riddler worked in SANCTUS, right? Does that mean Crane did, too?” Tiffany asked. “SANCTUS did specialize in weapons, and that kind of seems like what Crane’s trying to do- make a weapon.”

Bruce sighed after a moment. “I’m sure I would’ve encountered him while The Pact infiltrated the Bodhi Spa, so I’m leaning towards ‘no’. Project LOTUS was the only real biological weapon that SANCTUS created. It seems like they mostly focused on creating new tech, which is not in Crane’s area of study.”

“They must’ve come across each other in some other way, then.” Iman said. “Crane called him by first name, so it’s clear they were close. I’m sure they worked on something together.”

***

Bruce had recently been to the hospital. He’d gone to see Harvey after the incident at the debate, after he’d saved him from Penguin.

Now Bruce was headed down a hall again, this time on one of the other floors. As he passed one room with a hospital security guard outside of it, he heard yelling coming from inside, and he suppressed a shudder. The hospital was keeping all of the Arkham patients, those who had and hadn’t been affected by the fire, until transfers to another psychiatric hospital could be made.

He approached the room that the lady at the front desk had directed him towards. He wasn’t surprised to see a guard standing outside of that door as well, but he felt it was unnecessary. Bruce was reaching for the door handle when the guard stopped him.

“Sorry, no visitors allowed.” He said gruffly. Bruce raised his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This patient’s from Arkham, and he’s unstable. I’ve been given orders not to let anyone in.” The guard shook his head. “‘M sorry Mr. Wayne, but it’s for everyone’s safety.”

“Bruce!”

The CEO turned, and Dr. Leland was walking towards him, a clipboard in her hand. She looked at the door, then back at him. “Is something wrong?”

“The patient in this room’s from Arkham, ma’am. No one’s allowed to go in.” The guard explained.

Leland shook her head and flipped a few pages on her clipboard. She held it out for the guard to read. “I’m one of the doctors at Arkham and I am this patient’s doctor. John Doe, room 265, is permitted to have visitors.”

The guard’s eyebrows shot up when he read the paper. “Oh, my apologies, ma’am. You too, Mr. Wayne. My superiors just told me to stand guard out here and only let hospital staff in.”

“Well, that may be good protocol for some of my patients, but John isn’t one of them.”

“Right… well, then, please, Mr. Wayne.” The guard stepped aside.

“Thank you.” Bruce said to him, and he was glad the hospital was being cautious. He looked over at Leland. “We’ll talk soon.”

She nodded and Bruce opened the door. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

The room wasn’t lit up all the way, and Bruce was glad to be out of the harsh lights of the hospital. He looked over to the bed, seeing the familiar green head poking out from under the covers. John was asleep.

Bruce walked to the bed, placing a new bag of chocolates on the stand next to it. He sat down in the chair on the left side of the bed, and he could see that John was handcuffed to the bed by one hand- another safety precaution.

John looked pretty peaceful. His chest was rising and falling gently, and he seemed so relaxed. Bruce hadn’t expected him to be asleep, but it was ok. He could wait.

He was only waiting in silence for about ten seconds, before he heard a noise from the bed. He looked back to John, who was raising his free hand to his mouth to yawn into it, not quite opening his eyes yet.

“Mm… Bruce?” One green eye opened, and John rubbed at it, a smile coming to his face.

“Hey, John.” Bruce gave him a small smile. John reached out and patted Bruce’s arm. Bruce took the hint and interlocked their fingers. “Are you ok?”

John let out a soft giggle. “Thanks for saving me, Bats.” He whispered softly, squeezing Bruce’s hand gently. Bruce squeezed his hand back.

“Sorry I interrupted your nap.”

John sat up slowly, and then, as if he’d remembered something, his face lit up. He slipped his hand away from Bruce’s and dug around in the blankets, pulling out a remote. He pressed an arrow on it, and the bed began to tilt at a steeper angle so he could sit up.

“This place is fancy, Bruce! They got TV, fancy beds- which are really comfy by the way- and, like, real food!”

Bruce couldn’t help but give a soft chuckle at that. Hospital food was garbage, but he supposed that it was a step up from Arkham. “So, you’re doing ok.”

John blinked, and then he remembered Bruce’s question, his face lighting up. “Oh, right, right! ..I’m…” He sighed after a few seconds, his face falling. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m feeling a bit conflicted. I mean… most of my memories were within those walls… and now I’ll have to go to another hospital..”

He looked up at Bruce, a small grin coming to his face. “I did see your announcement, though.”

Bruce gave a soft sigh. He’d announced just an hour earlier that he was going through with the plans to build the hospital dedicated to his parents. “Not one of my better speeches, but… I felt that with the fire and everything it was even more important that I announce the plans for it.”

John giggled softly. After looking Bruce over, he tilted his head. “What’s on your mind?”

Bruce looked back over to him. “I..” He took a breath. This was going to be terrible, wasn’t it. “Tiffany and I… did some investigating.”

John sat up a bit more. “Investigating? Cool!”

“She went to Crane’s apartment and found his hard drive and a secret lab. All his work is on there. She only had a few minutes to look through a couple files.” Bruce began. “He’s.. trying to create something that he’s calling Fear Toxin. Tiffany found a bunch of mushrooms that cause hallucinations and she destroyed them all.”

John blinked. “A toxin… like the thing he gave me?”

“Right. In his papers he’s talked about creating a drug that will cause people to see their worst fears- hallucinate them- and scar them so badly that they cease to function. We’re pretty sure that the dose he gave you was a first trial, because you recovered, and it clearly didn’t work as intended. Still with me?”

John nodded slowly after a second of processing.

“Crane’s been trying to perfect the drug. We’re pretty sure that he released his second attempt in Arkham, and then set it on fire.”

“That explains why there was red gas everywhere and why everyone was screaming.” John piped up. “At first I thought a couple people were having PTSD flashbacks from fire accidents, but I realized that almost everyone was screaming.”

“When I found you, you weren’t. You were definitely loopy, but you weren’t freaking out.” Bruce replied, lowering his voice ever so slightly.

“I wasn’t freaking out, not really.” John said softly. “I didn’t pass out like when Crane gave me that drug, and I didn’t see any of my greatest fears. I do remember panicking when you were going to go back in. It’s a bit fuzzy, but I just couldn’t let you go back in… but why was I the only one affected in a different way?”

“There’s… something else.” Bruce swallowed. This was the hard part.

“John… I have..” Bruce took another breath, and he took John’s hand into his own. “I have news… it’s bad.”

John frowned. “What? What’s wrong, are you ok?”

Bruce squeezed his hand. “While Tiffany investigated Crane’s place.. We found four pictures, two sets of two.” He was speaking slowly. He wasn’t trying to belittle John or anything, he just couldn’t get the words out.

“In both sets, there was a picture of Crane and four other scientists- clearly colleagues that he worked with. One set was dated 2000, the other was 2003. The second picture in each set was of the same group of scientists and Crane, except.. There was a little boy with them.”

“A-and?”

“I asked Tiffany to show me a better view of one of the pictures with the boy.. He had dark hair and his eyes were green...” Bruce felt his voice break. He looked over at John.

“I… I think the boy is you.”

John blinked. “I don’t… does this mean that… that Crane knew me as a kid..?”

“Yes.. and I think that he was part of a group that was focused on studies revolving around.. You.” Bruce squeezed his hand again. He couldn’t imagine what those scientists had done to John.

John’s gaze fell. “So… so they experimented on me?” He let out a humorless laugh, his voice breaking. “They used me as a… _a lab rat_?”

“I… I’m not sure, but knowing how Crane is... I think so.” Bruce’s voice was soft.

John sniffed, and he squeezed Bruce’s hand as he looked up at him again. “Promise me that you’ll find out the truth... Promise me that you’ll uncover whatever you can, no matter how messed up it gets. Even if I say I don’t wanna hear it- even if I don’t wanna hear it.”

Bruce took another breath, and he interlocked their pinkies. “Promise.”

John gave him a small smile, but it was pretty obvious that he was trying his hardest just to keep it together. He looked down at his arms, biting his lip. “Am.. am I even human?”

“Here.” Bruce stood up and after a moment John got the hint, he slid over in the bed and Bruce sat next to him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.

“You are just as human as the rest of us, alright? Whatever happens- whatever has happened- you are still you, and I love you.”

John leaned against him, closing his eyes. “You… gosh, I love you, Bruce.”

Bruce kissed his hair. “I love you, too. I promised you that I’d investigate more and I will.”

John sighed contently after a moment. “..They’ve got me loaded up on drugs to keep me sedated… I think the new dose is finally starting to take effect.”

“Oh, then I’ll let you get back to sleep. I have to talk to Leland about a few things, anyway.” Bruce moved to get up, but John grabbed his wrist. Bruce looked back at him.

A devilish grin spread across John’s face. “You are quite the sight for sore eyes, Mr. Wayne.” He tugged on Bruce’s wrist, and Bruce slowly sat back down on the bed.

John’s hand slid up and down Bruce’s chest. “You know… we could take a moment to enjoy ourselves..” His eyes flitted downward, and Bruce had a feeling he knew exactly where John was looking.

“John, you’re not thinking straight-”

John giggled. “Of course not, straight thoughts are the last thing I’m thinking when you’re in the room.” He pressed a finger to Bruce’s lips when Bruce was about to protest again. “Don’t worry… I can be quiet… no one will hear us.”

Bruce gently took John’s hand away from his lips. “No. Not… not in the hospital.”

John let out a whine. “...Fine. I’m just letting you know that I’m ready whenever you’re ready. I’m more than ready.” He gave Bruce a wink.

Bruce stood up again, and he leaned down to press a kiss to John’s forehead. “I brought you more chocolate- it’s on the stand. I’ll see you soon.”

John giggled and waved. He blew Bruce a kiss. “See you.. Darling.”

Bruce slipped out of the room, hoping the blush on his face wasn’t too obvious. He began to explore the unit, and after only a minute or two of walking around he found Doctor Leland.

She looked up at him as he approached, smiling. “Bruce, you wanted to talk?”

“Yeah, somewhere private.”

She nodded and led him down a hallway, going to a secluded corner of the unit. She glanced down the hall one last time before turning to him. “What is it?”

“I..” Bruce hesitated, unsure of how to phrase the information. “I have reason to believe that John knew Doctor Crane before he became a patient at Arkham.”

She raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I… I came across information that appears to link them to each other.”

“Where did you find this information?”

“That’s not important. I.. also believe that Crane set Arkham on fire.”

Her eyes widened. “Bruce! What are you saying? You can’t just throw out accusations like that! You need evidence!” She crossed her arms. “I don’t agree with what Crane says- what he’s done to John- but arson? How’d you come up with that one?”

“That’s… I can’t tell you.” Bruce’s throat felt dry, but he had to tell Leland. Tiffany and he had barely scratched the surface of what was going on with Crane. He knew they wouldn’t be able to dig deeper alone. Now, he had to ask.

“Look… with Arkham gone, transfers will have to begin for all the patients. And they’ll just be stuck here until they get relocated… this.. I’m asking you as John’s best friend- as the man who loves him… would you be willing to release him into my care?”

Joan stared at him for a moment, and Bruce realized that he’d crossed the line. It was stupid of him to ask- stupid of him to think that he’d be able to take John home to assist in the fight. When Leland spoke, her voice was soft. “Bruce… can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Bruce swallowed thickly, expecting her to ask if _he_ needed to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. What he got was the last thing he’d expected. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke.

“Are you.. Batman?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!!  
> I actually got this out on time! I finished it yesterday but decided I wanted to try to keep the weekly updates idea, but it'll probably be short-lived, considering school starts for me this week, and I won't have much time to write today or tomorrow. I just mostly don't wanna have another month-long gap between chapters, I feel so bad about that still lmao  
> *hands everyone popcorn* Thank you so much for reading!! <3 I'm so glad people are enjoying this :3


	8. Chapter 8

Bruce stared at her.

_What?_

“I'm.. sorry..?”

Doctor Leland glanced down the hallway again. “It just makes sense. John and you being friends, how he easily came into contact with Batman more than once… I'm sure he knows Batman’s identity, and he's always refused to reveal it- like he's protecting Batman. Joker seemed mad enough at Batman that he’d want to ruin his life and reveal his identity, but if his identity was someone he cared about.. There's really only one person that John cares about enough to keep that kind of secret for.”

“Why would _I_ be Batman?” Bruce replied.

“You want to help people, prevent what happened to you from happening to others by putting away criminals.” She sighed softly. “Earlier you told me you think John and Crane met when John was younger, but you didn’t tell me where you got the information. I assume you got it from your own investigating, and I can only suppose that you want to find out what caused the fire at Arkham as well. I.. also assume that you feel a tremendous amount of guilt for what happened to John, which is why Batman disappeared.”

She looked up at him. “Bruce, if you have concrete proof that Crane is planning something, then there’s only one man this city can trust to put him away. If he needs help doing so…” She let out a soft huff. “I can put him into your care momentarily. He’s still going strong after everything.. I can let him stay with you for a period of time due to good behavior and strong recovery, but he won’t be allowed to stay with you again for another year.”

Bruce felt his chest tighten. “How long?”

“Only a week- and you _cannot_ let him fight. It could trigger Joker, even with his medication.”

A week. Bruce hoped that would be enough time. “I.. thank you.”

***

Bruce was the one who told John the news. After going over paperwork with Joan, Bruce was to take John with him the next day. Joan said the hospital wanted to keep him for one more night to make sure he would recover from his injuries from the fire.

John immediately perked up when Bruce entered the room. “Bruce! You’re back! Is it tomorrow already?”

Bruce gave him a small smile and sat down in the chair he’d sat in before. He saw that the chocolates were broken into. “Not quite. I.. I talked to Joan, and she’s letting me take you home for a week, starting tomorrow.”

John blinked, slowly grinning. “What are we talking here?”

“You’ll be able to come out of the hospital and live with me for a week, with certain restrictions, of course.”

“Live with you? In the manor?”

“Yeah. We have.. We have some stuff we have to take care of.” He reached over and took John’s hand into his own. “I’ll need you to help me with the investigation.”

John nodded. “Yeah! I’ll uh.. Be your man in the chair!”

“If you want, but I think I’ll need you to be on the field with me.” Bruce replied.

“Well, I do hate Crane, and two sets of eyes are better than one!” John glanced at the room door. “Does.. does she know?”

Bruce shrugged. “I didn’t tell her outright, but she connected a lot of dots, yes. She won’t tell anyone, but if she hears on the news that Batman AND Joker were in a fight..”

“My little vacation outta here will be terminated and my chances of ever officially being discharged may die entirely?” John let out a soft giggle. “Don’t worry. Haven’t been really feeling the whole ‘fighting’ thing recently, but I _will_ protect you if I have to.”

John brought their hands up to his lips and pressed his lips against Bruce’s knuckles. “...Does Alfred know?”

“Not yet.” Bruce sighed softly. “He’s been needing a vacation anyway. I think he started to plan one yesterday.”

John squeezed his hand. “As long as he comes back.”

Bruce looked over at him. “He’s been working for my family for a long time. He isn’t exactly getting any younger.”

John’s brows furrowed together. “Well, yeah, he might technically be working for you, but he’s your dad! He’s not just gonna leave!”

“Trust me, I’ve given him enough heart attacks throughout his life. He doesn’t need to stick around for me anymore.”

John sighed softly, shrugging. “I guess, but we all know you’re not the greatest at taking care of yourself.”

“Well, I’ll at least have you to keep me somewhat on track for the week.”

“And hopefully by the time the week is up, Crane will be behind bars and you can rest easy!” John grinned. “And the new hospital’s plans will become a reality eventually, and you’ll be able to actually have a break!”

Bruce raised his eyebrows at him. “That sounds too good to be true.”

“Well you’ve earned it!”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

John huffed. “Fine, fine. What time are you coming to get me?”

“9. I have to check you back in exactly a week after.”

John grinned. “9! I got a lotta time to kill! Or… more like a lot of time to sleep. You should sleep, too! You can’t further the investigation any more.”

Bruce nodded. “I’ll try. Tomorrow I’ll catch you up more on what we know.”

“Alright, well, I’m sure you don’t wanna be stuck in this hospital for any longer. Go home, alright?” John gave Bruce’s hand a squeeze.

Bruce interlocked their pinkies after a moment. “See you tomorrow.”

John grinned at the action. “Bye, Brucie.”

***

Telling Alfred that he would be bringing John home was easier than Bruce thought it would be. The look he gave him wasn't as disapproving as he'd expected, but Alfred didn't exactly look pleased.

“And you'll be pursuing this Doctor Crane fellow, I assume.”

Bruce nodded. “Yeah, I need more evidence that links him to John, and I need to figure out his next moves. I feel like he’s planning to do what the Children of Arkham did- release something across the city.”

“Doesn’t he know that Batman already stopped that plan?”

“I’m sure, but until the fire Batman was gone. Maybe he thought it was all over and decided that the city would be an easy target.”

Alfred looked his son up and down. “I’m sorry, Bruce. I know John is starting to recover, but after the fight between you two at Ace.. all the death he caused..”

“I know, you don’t want to be around when he’s here.” Bruce replied. “Get out of Gotham. It’ll also keep you safe and away from Crane.”

The older man nodded. “Right.. I’ll book something as soon as possible.” He turned to leave the kitchen, but he stopped and looked back at Bruce. “Bruce?”

Bruce looked up at him. “Yes?”

“Don’t do anything _too_ stupid, alright? And make sure John doesn’t, either.”

“Yes, Alfred.”

The Brit suddenly had a grin on his face, one that Bruce had seen only a few times before. “And.. if you and John do engage in any.. _activities_ … do be careful.”

Bruce’s eyes widened and he felt his cheeks turn bright red. “ _Alfred_.”

His father figure was already leaving the kitchen, but Bruce could’ve sworn he heard him chuckling to himself.

***

John’s leg bounced nervously while he sat with Doctor Leland. He felt a mix of worry and excitement. He did not want to mess up this time.

“John?” Leland had been watching him closely as they sat together.

He looked over at her. “Yeah?”

She put a hand on his arm, deciding to choose her words carefully, considering anyone could walk by and hear them. “It’s going to be alright.”

He raised his eyebrows slightly, his leg stopping. “I.. I’m just nervous, that’s all. Bruce will take good care of me, though.”

Joan nodded. “He will. I suppose you two will be mostly just enjoying each other’s company? That’s good. You need to be in as calm of an environment as you can be.”

“By the time I get back, do you think transfers will be set?” John asked softly.

She sighed and nodded. “Yes, I’ve already started to work on them. I’m going to hopefully be able to send you and other patients who have friends and family here in Gotham to another hospital about an hour away.”

John’s shoulders fell. “An hour away, huh?”

“Either that or Blackgate, and you don’t need to be in prison.”

He nodded, but he still didn’t like the idea of being sent away. “I understand.”

“Hopefully you won’t be there for too long. If Bruce gets his way the hospital will be under construction 24/7 until it gets built, but who knows how much work they’ll get done once winter settles in?”

“Winter… right.” John would be stuck inside for Christmas for _another_ year. Maybe Bruce would visit him, or even get him something. “Crane didn’t come by, did he?”

“No, and he didn’t teach yesterday or today.”

“Right..” John glanced down at his stupid Arkham uniform, which was still covered in soot in a few places. The Agency had taken all of his clothes, of course, so he couldn’t ask Bruce to swing by the subway to grab them for him anyway. Hopefully Bruce would have something for him to borrow.

As if on cue, the man himself came around the corner. John practically sprang up when he saw him and ran into his arms. Luckily Bruce caught him with ease, wrapping an arm around his middle as John nuzzled his cheek.

Bruce said someone to Joan, but John didn’t hear it. He was too busy enjoying Bruce’s hug- their first real hug since the fire. He took in Bruce’s scent, realizing that, even though he’d practically just seen him, he’d missed him.

He pulled away to give Bruce’s lips a quick peck, then he turned to look at Joan, a huge grin on his face.

“These are a week’s worth of his medications.” She held out a white bag with a few papers stapled to it, and when Bruce took the bag, John heard pills rattle inside.

“Thanks.”

John gave them both his three-fingered salute. “Don’t worry, I’m good at taking them! ..Though, a reminder wouldn’t kill me.”

Bruce gave him a hint of a smile. “Between the two of us, we won’t forget.”

Joan nodded. “I’ll contact you as soon as John’s transfer to another hospital is completed. You’ll take him there when the week is up.”

John could’ve sworn he saw a flash of something cross Bruce’s face, but all the taller man did was nod. “Right.”

John held Bruce’s hand all the way out of the hospital. John ran his fingers over Bruce’s knuckles, which he were sure had somewhat healed during Batman’s absence.

John slid into the passenger seat, sighing to himself softly. Two times he’d been in that car: right after the funhouse, on the way to the bridge, and going to the GCPD to get information on Waller.

John was brought out of his thoughts as he put on his seatbelt, and his stomach let out a whale call. He heard Bruce let out a chuckle, and he looked over to see him giving him another small smile.

“I’ve got real food back at the manor.” He said, starting the car, and John quirked an eyebrow.

“‘Real’ food?”

“Yeah.. like.. I don’t know.. Real stuff?” Bruce began to back out of the space, and when they were out of the parking lot he spoke again. “Not just something that passes as meat or a vegetable.”

“Oh. Yeah, didn’t really get to eat a lot of that stuff while I got out the first time..” John’s eyes suddenly widened. “Wait, I had these really good cookies- Oreos! Do you have some? Can you buy some?”

Bruce glanced back over to John, one of his brows quirked. “John, I’m not an animal- of course I have Oreos. If that’s all you really want to eat, well, you can have those, but you should have some real food, too.”

John nodded. He did eat at the hospital, but only because it was better than Arkham’s food. It wasn’t as flavorless, and he could definitely identify what it was, unlike at Arkham, where you could only guess that the soup you were eating was supposed to be tomato.

John watched the buildings whizz by as they left the city. He’d missed the colors of Gotham. Sure, it was cloudy and rainy most days, but today the sun was peeking out, and seeing people on the street dressed in various colors and shades brought a smile to John’s face. Arkham was so dark and dreary, with barely any color at all.

Even the hospital was plain, with mostly whites all over the place. Would it have killed them to paint the walls a nice green?

“Bruce?”

The other man glanced over at him. “Yes?”

“Do you have anything I can wear that’s not…” John paused, trying to think of the appropriate wording. “..that’s not achromatic?”

Bruce gave him a small smile. “I do, I’m sure. Maybe nothing quite as bright as what you wear, but I’m sure I can find you something.”

John grinned. “Great! Now, what about the investigation?”

“Crane’s at a warehouse on the edge of the city. It’s guarded by guns, but I can take them out. I figure that’s where he’s hiding out- where his base is until he makes his next move. Oh, he also..” Bruce sighed softly. “You’re going to love this- he mentioned Riddler. He worked with him from what it sounds like.”

John crossed his arms. “Well, well, well. I guess they learned their rudeness from each other! Two big heads are not better than one.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure they exchanged all kinds of messed up ideas, even before Riddler was infected with the virus.”

John looked back over at him. “If they knew each other.. Is there a chance that Riddler knew me as well?”

“I’m not sure. Do you have memories of him?”

“No…” A small spark of realization hit John. “Wait, you said in the pictures there was a woman. Did she have brown hair?”

“I.. I think so. More memories?”

John nodded. “Yeah, I had a dream- or a memory, I guess- last night. I was talking to a woman.. She was talking to me about… she rang off a bunch of foreign names that I can’t remember, but in the moment, I knew exactly what she was talking about.”

Bruce’s brows furrowed. “Wait, foreign names? Like country names? Cities?”

John blinked. “No… no- names. Like names of people. The way she was talking made it sound like they were really important.”

“Any other memories that you can recall?”

John shook his head. “Nothing that I haven’t told you, I don’t think. I was so drugged up at the hospital and in Arkham that I didn’t remember most of my dreams, and I guess that also wiped out my chances of remembering memories.”

“I know it might be hard.. but with everything that's happened any little bit will help.” Bruce replied.

“You got it. Once you told me that you're pretty sure Crane knew me before all this..” John sighed, then straightened up a little. “We have to face whatever comes our way. We have to know the truth. Part of me has always wanted to know about my past, I just didn't know where to start.”

They were out of the city now, across the river, and if John turned the right way he could see Arkham Island.

“I'm.. really nervous about getting transferred.” He said, looking down at his hands.

“You think the new place will be as bad as Arkham or worse?”

A smile crossed John's face. “No, no, I don't think that's possible. I just.. I'll be alone. I knew Arkham in and out, and at least for the past few weeks you've visited me..”

“I'm still going to visit you as much as I can, you know.” Bruce replied, and the hint of amusement in his tone made John feel slightly less worried. “I'll still try to drop by and bug you for a couple hours now and then.”

John rolled his eyes. “Right, like _you're_ the one bugging _me_.”

John didn't realize he'd be able to be silent for such a long time while he was with Bruce, but he said nothing for the remaining 15 minutes of the drive.

He just wanted to enjoy Bruce.

And part of enjoying him involved plenty of physical contact. When Bruce stopped the car in a place that looked like a cave, John was too busy hopping out and running to his side of the car to give him a hug to really notice.

Bruce hesitantly wrapped an arm around him. “You ok?”

John nodded into his shoulder. “Mhm… just wanted to hug you!” He pulled back as quickly as he’d gone in, and then he took in their surroundings.

“Wha- Bruce, I thought you lived in that big fancy house that we passed a minute ago!” He stepped away from him, and his exclamation sent a group of bats flying from one part of the ceiling to the next.

“I do. This is just the cave- where all my gear and tech is.” Bruce replied, beginning to walk forward, towards a large computer.

John looked around wildly, his eyes falling on an older suit model across the cave. Whoa, real tech that Bruce used! And were those D&D dice?!

“John?”

All the neurons in John’s brain that were firing suddenly stopped, and he whipped around, his focus completely on the other man he was with. “Yeah, buddy?”

He could’ve sworn he saw the corners of Bruce’s mouth lift up upon hearing the nickname, but maybe the lighting in the cave was just off. “The important stuff is all over here.”

“Right, right!”

John was next to him in an instant. “What’ve we got, chief?”

“Crane received a lot of backlash for his ideas on torture.” Bruce began to boot up the computer. “The photos I talked about… one was dated 2000- the year he went underground.”

John’s mood fell a bit. “That kinda ties it all together doesn’t it?”

“Sort of.” Bruce looked back to him. “I know you don’t know when you were born, but I figure you were born a few years after me, which would put you as being about the same age as the boy in the 2000 and 2003 photographs.”

John nodded. “Makes sense.”

“I also tried facial recognition on the scientists picture…” Bruce sighed. “The only one that got a match was Crane.”

John blinked. “Wait, so… those people don’t exist?”

“Not in any government databases that I could find. I was able to run the same one on both pictures with the boy this morning, nothing came up either.”

The green-haired man sighed. “This.. this is kinda really big, isn’t it…”

“I don’t want to sound like some guy with tinfoil on his head, but yeah. This is kinda really big.”

A thought struck John. “Didn’t Waller make some researchers who worked for SANCTUS casually disappear when they were going to testify or something?”

“Basically, but this was either before her time or above her pay grade.” Bruce replied. “If she’d been involved in this, she would’ve gone after you... probably would’ve killed you as soon as you got out of Arkham.”

“Wow, rude.” John grumbled. “But I don’t doubt it.”

Bruce pulled up something on the computer. “I… these are a bunch of files I stole from Arkham. They’re all on you. I can delete them if-”

“No.” John said, and Bruce gave him a confused look. “It’s.. I gotta be an open book. We’re not hiding anything from each other, so I won’t hide anything, even the nastier things from my past. I wasn’t always an angel, you know.”

“Really? Now that’s a shocker.”

“So.. on a scale of one to ten, how badly does Crane know we’re onto him?” John asked.

Bruce sighed. “Well, the warehouse we saw him go to that’s guarded by guns? One of them saw the drone and started shooting.” Bruce shook his head. “God, this is why I work at night..”

John laughed lightly. “You’re used to people not even seeing your drones, aren’t you?”

“I should’ve been thinking, should’ve kept it farther away..”

“Hey, maybe it scared Crane!” John grinned. “I hope he’s scared! You’re gonna go beat him up! He should be!”

“You mean Batman is going to beat him up.”

“Yeah, yeah…” This awkward moment called for a subject change. “Hey, can we get some food? And.. can I get some new clothes?”

John looked all around the cave as Bruce led him to what he was pretty sure was an elevator. He glanced at his gallery of people he'd faced- Two-Face, Lady Arkham, Penguin, even Cat Lady.

“Has she dropped by for some ridiculous heist?” He asked, looking at Bruce as the elevator began to move.

“Catwoman? No. I haven't heard from her since the roof fight, but I think I saw something on the news about a museum robbery on the other side of the country.” Bruce replied. “I don't think she’ll come back to Gotham unless she absolutely has to.”

John leaned against Bruce, resting his cheek on his shoulder. “..Do you think Waller will come back?”

“As long as we can keep Crane under wraps I think we're good. I'm hoping that The Agency hasn't been tracking him. I'll probably flip a table if I ever see Waller again.”

John giggled softly. “I'm sure you could flip a table easily.”

The elevator stopped and Bruce led John out into a room. There was a fireplace and a few couches, as well as a billiards table. John looked around as Bruce closed the entrance to the cave. “Is this the rotunda?”

“Sorry, not this one.” Bruce replied, motioning for John to follow him out of the room.

John followed, and was brought into a large room. Two large doors sat on one end, and across from them was a large staircase to the second floor.

He followed Bruce in the direction of the stairs, but he went around them. John could see another hallway and followed Bruce down it. They reached a doorway and John grinned. He could tell that this was the kitchen. It looked far different from what he’d expected.

He plopped himself on a stool, grinning at Bruce. “Alright, buddy, what’ve we got on the menu?”

After filling up on mostly fruit (yes, _real fruit!!_ ) and a few cookies the pair headed upstairs. John looked around at Bruce’s room. It was how he’d expected it to be, spacious with minimal furniture. Dark curtains and dark walls.

John decided that Bruce was probably someone who hung up posters on the walls as a teen. The walls were bare now.

John flopped down on the edge of the bed as Bruce began to look for clothes for him. “So, Alfred’s on vacation- can you cook?”

Bruce let out a short laugh, and John could’ve sworn he saw him tense up just for millisecond. “Heh, not well. I’ve got some frozen meals.”

“I understand if he doesn’t want to be around after what I’ve done, but.. Is he ok?”

Bruce looked back at him. “What do you mean?”

“You just get kinda weird when we talk about him. Like something’s wrong.” John pulled his legs up to his chin. “I get it- family confidentiality. Just know that I’ll be here when you’re ready to tell me.”

Bruce was silent. He came over to John, holding some clothes against his chest for him. John held out his hands expectantly, eyes on the clothes. When Bruce didn’t give them to him, he looked up at him.

Bruce was looking at the ground, and John knew something was wrong. “Bruce?”

It took a few seconds, but Bruce looked back at him. “Alfred.. Alfred’s a big factor in why Batman has been absent recently. We talked after everything and after seeing what happened at Ace, he gave me a choice. Give up Batman or… give up him.”

Bruce held out the clothes to him. “A good part of what he said was right. For a second I was going to let him walk away, but… I couldn’t let him go. Not after everything.”

John took the clothes hesitantly. This was.. Wow. “I’m sorry, Bruce.” Alfred was just… going to leave Bruce? Leave his son?

“I’m just surprised he’s stuck around for as long as he has.” Bruce replied, clearly wanting to drop the conversation.

“I’m gonna go change.” John replied, standing up. Bruce gestured to what John figured was the bathroom.

“Go ahead.”

John pulled off his Arkham uniform once he was in the bathroom. He slipped on the black boxers Bruce had given him, and _dang_ they were comfy. He pulled on the skinny jeans, which were black, clearly from a time when Bruce had less muscle on him.

John pulled on the dark blue shirt last, to which he gave simple shrug. It was the closest he’d get to purple, but blue was really more Bruce’s color.

He stepped out of the bathroom, leaving his Arkham uniform on the sink for now. He saw that Bruce was on his phone, texting someone.

“Work?”

Bruce glanced up at him. “Not really. I’m letting Iman know we’ll be going out to check that warehouse.”

“No waiting for nightfall, huh?”

“As much as I don’t like working during daylight hours, we have to find out what we can as soon as possible. We can’t afford to wait until night.”

John nodded. “Right. About Iman.. I.. I'm still dubious about her, but she's one of the good ones.”

Bruce slipped his phone into his pocket. “There's nothing wrong with being cautious, but I do trust her.”

“You're gonna change into your suit?” John asked. “What about those dice in the place you keep all your weapons? I've never seen you use those before!”

“Dice? You mean the smoke grenades?” Bruce asked.

“Smoke grenades? Aw, so you don't have to roll for every move you make?”

“..Sorry?”

John shrugged. “I guess stopping and rolling constantly would probably get you killed on the streets, so it’s probably a good thing that you don’t do it.”

All thoughts of rolling dice for moves disappeared once John followed Bruce back to the cave. John skimmed a few of Crane’s works, cringing more times than he thought was possible in the span of a couple minutes.

“Ugh, no wonder this guy was pals with Riddler- they were both totally crazy and really rude!” John said when he heard Bruce approach.

He looked up at him, and suddenly he was overcome with a feeling he couldn’t quite place. Seeing Bruce with the cowl off reminded him of the moment they had to breathe in the alley, before everything fell apart. When he’d met Alfred, when he’d trusted Bruce with the virus, right before they’d gotten into the Batmobile. Their last good moment together as Batman and Joker.

“You ready to head out?” Bruce asked, and John snapped out of his thoughts. He nodded, standing up and grinning.

“I call shotgun!”

***

The drive was almost silent, mostly because John had to concentrate on trying not to touch everything in the Batmobile. There were so many cool-looking buttons.

Bruce parked at one of the abandoned warehouses. He began to tap something on his gauntlet.

 

“What’s that?” John asked.

“Sending a drone to check the warehouse- this one’s a lot smaller. I’m going to make sure it’s empty, then take out the men outside.”

John nodded, looking at his gauntlet which was showing feed from the drone. “Sounds good!” He glanced out of the windows, trying to see if anyone would try to sneak up on them.

“Crane’s car isn’t there, and the drone isn’t picking up any heat signatures.” Bruce tapped a few more times. “I’m going in.”

John nodded. “I’ll hold down the fort!”

“I’ll come back for you once I clear them.” Then Bruce was gone, the Batmobile opening up then closing behind him.

John sat for a moment in silence. Part of him wanted to join Bruce, to knock out a guy or two for him, but he knew he shouldn’t. He couldn’t help but still feel that itch on occasion, but his medication was helping with it.

He would help with actually investigating, though. The two of them would cover ground easily, and John wasn’t expecting Crane to have too much work in the warehouse.

He was just starting to get a little worried about Bruce when he saw the familiar black figure turn the corner of the warehouse the Batmobile was parked next to. The Batmobile opened and John poked his head out the top. Bruce motioned for him to come out with a slight head nod.

John pulled himself out and quickly was by his side. “How many guys?”

“Four, but I had to tie them up together and drag them all away from the warehouse.” Bruce began to walk, John at his heels.

“Oh, makes sense. Everything else clear?” John asked.

“No traps or security measure.” Bruce said. John heard some bitterness in his voice.

“You’re worried?” They were approaching the warehouse, the one with the number four on it.

“It just feels like he should have more security.” Bruce replied. “I wouldn’t say I’m worried, just… keep your guard up.”

“You got it… Wait, no security cameras or anything, either?”

“No. Nothing.”

Now John was started to get anxious. He’d been excited about investigating, finding out the truth, but this seemed way too easy.

They approached the warehouse and Bruce slid the door back enough for them to slide in. John followed him, instantly covered in darkness aside from the light from outside.

Bruce looked around for a moment, before going over to what John figured was the wall. He hit something and suddenly lights came on in the warehouse. Bruce closed the door again. The pair turned around.

The warehouse was fairly small. On the left side, there was a series of what John thought were tables with brighter lights hanging over them. The tables took up the entire left half of the warehouse, all the way down to the other end. He walked over to the tables, quickly realizing that they weren’t exactly tables, but were more like raised garden plots. He blinked, counting at least twenty, and looked down into the dirt.

“Mushrooms?” He asked, but he already knew the answer. Bruce was beside him, glancing at the plants. There was a small table with some papers on them, and a few papers tacked to a board on the wall. Bruce began to make his way through the rows of plots. “They’re labeled with names. He must have at least a dozen different species.”

“Same mushrooms Tiffany found, but there’s a lot more of them here.” Bruce said. “In Crane’s apartment there was two smaller plots.”

John shook his head. “Torture.. Making someone insane to spill their secrets… Crane will _rot_ in a six by eight cell.”

“He’s got more papers on hallucinogens, he clearly tried multiple different species.. There’s a note on here… ‘T-09 failed, species will not work’. The drug he used on you.”

“Well, that doubly confirms that he was trying to use his torture methods on me, or something like that.” John grumbled. “Well, too bad for him! It didn’t work!”

He turned his back on the plants, looking to find that the only other thing there was a desk with a sizable monitor on it. He slowly approached it, looking around for any hidden wires or cameras.

He looked at the desk. It had nothing on it aside from the monitor and a small drive. Two chairs sat in front of it. “Bats, got something!” His voice echoed across the warehouse.

Bruce crossed the the warehouse in a few seconds. John pointed to the drive. “I think that’s got the answers we’re looking for.”

The taller man glanced around. “He wanted us to find all this. I should’ve gone with my gut, it was all set up for us.”

John sat down in one of the chairs and picked up the drive. He looked under the desk and saw the PC which he figured was connected to the monitor. “Well, let’s see what’s so important.”

He plugged in the drive and the monitor came to life. John saw Bruce cross his arms in his peripheral vision.

Someone suddenly appeared on the monitor.

“Is… that a potato sack?” John asked out loud. The sack had two holes cut into it. The sack was messily stitched into a crooked line a couple inches below the holes.

“Batman, I don't think we've been properly introduced yet.” John blinked, instantly recognizing that voice. He'd only heard it when it was quiet and calm, but now that the speaker was raising their voice, it was scratchy and highly unpleasant to listen to.

“You know, when I found out my apartment had been broken into, at first I thought it was just a petty theft.” Crane continued. “But when I saw what happened to my lab, well… there's really only one detective that came to my mind who could leave everything perfectly in its place, destroy my plants, look through my files, and not even call the police!”

John rolled his eyes. He knew Crane was crazy, but why was he wearing the potato sack? Was there some bad cosplay competition coming up?

“But you've been absent recently, so, I figure you have someone working on your behalf. Doing the dirty work for you.” John could practically feel Bruce tense up for a moment behind him.

“So, that's why there's two chairs- in case you brought along your new apprentice. Were they the one who was flying that drone so poorly? That really gave it away that you've been keeping tabs on me, you know. Nice job saving all of those people from Arkham, by the way. I was really hoping you'd get there in time to see the whole thing collapse with your precious _Joker_ inside, but things didn't go as planned.”

John gripped one of the arms of the chair. “It's _John_ , Potato Pal.”

“I'm sure if he were with you he’d talk at me through the screen and say something about how his name is… ‘John’.” John tilted his head at the way he said the name. Was Crane really going to stoop so low as to bring up his amnesia?

“Now, I'm sure you're just dying to know the truth about your green-haired friend.” Crane pulled away from the camera ever so slightly. He was wearing a hood that also appeared to be made out of a potato sack. His shirt was of a similar material.

John felt that it was pretty ridiculous-looking, but it was kind of unsettling. Or maybe that feeling was just from Crane talking about him.

“The people around here say you have no fears.” Crane continued. “But I know that’s not true. Underneath that suit you’re just a man, and you fear something. You fear people finding out who you are, it’s why you work in the shadows and hide. You mask your fear with punches. I bet the detective in you wants to dig for the truth, but you secretly fear it. You fear what may have been done to your friend before he ended up in Arkham. You fear what _he_ may have done.”

John felt himself sink into the chair a little. He suddenly felt dread wash over him as the monitor switched to a video of a woman. “That’s.. That’s the woman from my dream.” He smiled at the monitor, suddenly feeling happy at the sight of her.

It was likely a video taken from a webcam. She had wavy brown hair that went just past her shoulders.

“Uh..” She glanced away from the camera, then looked back at it. “This is… wow. I never thought I’d make an entry like this..” She sighed softly. “After all of our failed attempts.. After months of trying..” She smiled gently, then cleared her throat. “My name is Amelia Simmons, and I have just helped artificially create the first living human being.”

John’s smile disappeared.

He heard Bruce shift behind him. “What?”

She let out a soft laugh. “Attempt after attempt… so many trials.. He’s been alive for a week now- the longest out of any of them. I really hope I don’t jinx it with this video.”

The video cut to a new one. Amelia was in the same room, but her shirt was different and her hair was up. “An entire month, and he’s strong… he’s already sitting up by himself!” She smiled. “Everything is fine, he’s doing great. I can’t believe he’s learning so fast. He’s very quiet, though, which is really great. No crying in the middle of the night. Gene’s had no issues when monitoring him.”

Another cut. “Six months and he’s already walking! And… we decided to name him today! We figured after everything, just calling him another number would be awkward, so we decided on Z.”

John felt like he’d been stabbed in the gut. Something about that name.. “Wh… what?”

The video switched again. Amelia’s hair was a few inches longer, and John thought she looked older. “Phase one is completed! He started training today and I was able to watch.. He’s an extremely fast learner, and that also goes for combat. Sometimes while I’m teaching him, he’ll do push-ups or some other exercise. I keep telling him not to push himself too hard. He’s very eager to start real training.”

“Training… combat?” John mumbled to himself. “And… ‘phase one’? That’s what those photos said..” John blinked, his face falling. Was what he thought was happening really happening?

A cut to Amelia again, this time her hair was cut above her shoulders. She smiled. “Phase two is complete, and Jonathan did a few tests on Z. He made him run a bunch and measured his brainwaves. I don’t know exactly what for, but Z just focused on running- and he can _run_. He hasn’t gotten sick yet, he’s been building muscle well, once you give him a task he focuses only on accomplishing it..” She sighed softly, her smile falling slightly. “Even if he’s the only one we have… he can do so much for us. Obviously, a girl would’ve been better for certain… things... “ She suddenly frowned. “What the hell am I saying? That… that doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t like where this is going.” Bruce said, and his voice was even soft through the modifier. “This.. this is..”

“I’m scared, Bats.” John whispered.

This time, a different background was behind Amelia, and she looked tired. “Another update… Z… he’s been acting weird, but I think it’s just his ‘rebellious teen’ phase. Jonathan offered to do an evaluation on him but Gene and I decided against it. We remember how it was like at that age. Hah, I guess Jonathan’s too old to remember his teen years. Gene still mentions Jonathan’s weird papers to me- he said something about morals, I- I wasn’t really paying attention. I had to catch up on a few things because now Z has to start the final parts of phase 3…”

Amelia began talking as soon as the next video started. She looked like she was in shock. There were bags under her eyes, she was pale. Her voice was shaking. “My- my name is Amelia Simmons… My name is Amelia Simmons and I have made a terrible mistake.” She covered her mouth, taking a shaky breath. “Z- he- he _killed_ the trainers he’s been working with. Military guys- guys who’ve seen war. He… killed them.”

John’s eyes widened. No. No way. No way.

She sat back, looking away from the camera. “I.. I’ve made a terrible mistake. I should never have taken this job. I should’ve waited for legitimate opportunity to come up.” She shook her head. “I was… I was blinded… the money they offered to me and Gene.. it easily covered our student loans. If…” She looked back at the camera. “If anyone finds this that doesn’t work for The Agency- or the CIA- or the FBI- whatever!” She took another breath.

“I don’t have much time, but there’s no other way to document this. Z is.. Z is a 16-year-old… he was created by me and Gene Simmons… and a handful of scientists who left the project years ago…” She glanced away from the camera. “They were right.. They were all right. Gene and I should’ve left.. I’ve.. Z was the only successful trial of the project.. He..” She let out a soft sob.

“The.. the people who hired me wanted us to create soldiers.. People who wouldn’t get sick, who could learn anything easily, who could fight..” She wiped her eyes. “They wanted people who could infiltrate other governments and take out those on top..” She shook her head. “I.. I created a person, let him grow up thinking this- the tests, the training, the poking, the prodding- was all normal… He was going to be an assassin- a spy, maybe.. I don’t care anymore. All I know is.. Z killed those trainers and he _liked_ it. The look on his face- the satisfaction..”

John’s stomach dropped.

Amelia looked back at the camera. “The project’s officially being terminated. Gene and I are being put underground- all of us who haven’t gone under already will within the next 24 hours. We.. we sedated Z and Jonathan ran tests..” She shook her head. “It’s all over- there’s some sort of chemical overload or imbalance in Z’s brain..” She let out another sob. “How am I supposed to live with this?! I.. I _did_ this.. Jonathan… he was going to give Z an injection to attempt to balance his brain… He… he woke up from the sedative..”

She buried her face in her hands. “Z escaped the lab for the first time. He.. he must’ve been so scared.. Crane found him in another lab… Z… Z knew everything. He’d started to look through our files after he finished phase two… He knew what he was. He was angry... scared. He went into another lab… SANCTUS was working on God knows what- a chemical weapon, I think. I’d heard about it a couple times through Gene..”

John blinked, suddenly feeling drops of something on his cheeks. “Project.. Project LOTUS..?”

Amelia hugged herself. “He.. he said he was done working for us.. That he’d rather die than be some tool for us to use. The weapon SANCTUS was working on… there was a whole supply there.. Before anyone could react he broke the cabinet with all the trials that were ready for testing and just… started _injecting_ himself. I don’t even think he knew what they were for- even I still don’t know what they were for.. It all happened so fast. One second he was up and just grabbing syringes… then he was screaming and screaming.. His skin… his skin turned _white_. It just.. Happened so fast… They’ve… Crane decided then and there that he was unsaveable.. I figured that meant they’d have to give him a quick death.. But.. they’re going to keep him _alive_..”

She wiped her eyes again. “After.. After _everything_ they just decided to keep him alive… They called it _mercy_. They decided to wipe his memory and dump him in an insane asylum- Arkham Asylum in Gotham City. They’re just… going to let him _rot_. They’re not even bothering to forge documents for him or anything..”

She took a breath, looking into the camera. “Z.. if.. if you’re alive and ever find this somehow.. if you make it out and they come after you I’ll be long gone. Don’t forgive me. What I did was morally wrong.. I didn’t know about the plan when they first approached me, I just knew they needed a biologist who was desperate to pay off loans. I have no excuses, I should’ve quit the project.. If they come after you you have to run. They’ll find you and kill you. I don’t know if you have any memories of what you did, but you aren’t safe if any higher-ups find out that you were part of a project like this.”

She sighed softly. “I just hope that you'll never see this. I hope that you pass away in the asylum, or that you don't remember and you're stable enough to get out and live a normal life somehow.”

She reached up, probably to turn off the camera. “I'm.. I’m sorry. For everything.”

The screen went blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this bad boy posted. School has been taking up so much of my time x-x and I'm also gonna be totally rearranging my room over the next month and I'll hopefully be getting a job in the next week.  
> I'm aiming to wrap this up in one more chapter and just make it a long one for me, plus an epilogue to tie everything together.  
> I thought Bruce being naked in the newest comic would be my 'thing' to talk about, but considering the news we got Friday, I need to talk about that instead. I'm sure you guys are all aware of what's going on with Telltale. I am extremely upset by the news. I was expecting them to drop Bats S3 teaser at PAX next spring, but clearly that's not going to happen. This also means that the Telltale Batman Universe will essentially be unfinished, because as we all know, the story did not end at the end of S2. Unless another company picks up the idea and just adapts a new season, Telltale Bats is technically over, and I highly doubt anyone will pick it up.  
> This only motivates me more and more to keep writing. I had another idea for Season 3 based off a theory I'd heard right after Same Stitch came out, and I almost turned this story into that instead. I decided that with the way I wrote the first chapter for this, my idea of Jonathan Crane coming in would fit much better than the villain for the theory would. Depending on how life is going once I finish this, I may write that interpretation of a possible S3. If I decide not to write it, then I'll just continue with my 'No One Killed Anyone' AU stories. I may end up branching out with other versions of BatJokes as well.  
> Thanks so much for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Everything slowed down.

He could feel his heart beating harder, as if straining to work, but he was sitting down. Everything suddenly felt hot. His lungs felt heavy, like someone was sitting on them.

He tried to say something, but he couldn’t form words. He heard his breathing speed up before he felt it. He blinked slowly, closing his eyes. When he opened them, a dark figure was next to him. Maybe he should’ve felt scared of the figure, but he didn’t.

He felt a hand on his arm, grabbing firmly, but not tightly. He managed to look up, two shapes staring back at him. The figure was saying his name.

Suddenly everything came back to John. It was too much.

He felt arms tugging him closer- Bruce’s arms. John practically fell against him, hearing his own sobs come out in short, harsh breaths. He felt like someone was sitting on his chest. He heard himself crying as he practically gasped for air.

Bruce’s armor was cool on his skin, and he pressed his forehead against his shoulder. He felt Bruce wrap his arm around him. There was three points of light contact on his neck. He couldn’t tell what they were before they pulled away.

Bruce shifted and John held onto him tighter. No, he couldn’t lose Bruce. After everything he couldn’t lose Bruce. Not now.

He heard two soft clicks, and then something was being wrapped around him- a blanket? A spike of panic ran through John and he pulled back. Bruce’s arms slipped off of him and John looked down at his shoulders. He pulled the black material closer around himself- it was Bruce’s cape.

He kept his eyes on the ground. After a few seconds of silence he finally spoke, his voice unnaturally quiet. He brain was working slowly, but he managed to get out a thought. “I’m… in shock.”

Bruce was silent. If it was anyone else John would’ve been upset, but Bruce was different. Bruce wanted to say the right thing. The only problem was, there was no right thing to say.

John managed a laugh, his nerves rising as everything slowly set in. “You know.. even I don’t have a joke for this situation.”

“Can you walk?” Bruce asked softly. John blinked, thinking over the question. Why did he want to know that?

“We can’t stay here. I need to get you somewhere safe.” Bruce tried again, and a few neurons turned on in John’s brain.

More than a few. Too many, actually.

He felt his heart begin to pound again, sweat breaking out on his skin. He looked up at Bruce, his eyes welling up with tears again.

“I’m… I’m not even _real_!” He let out a sob, looking down at his hand. “I was literally _created in a lab_! To be _used_! To be a _weapon_!”

“John…”

“I’m not even _human_! I’m.. I’m a _freak_!” He buried his face in his hands. “Every… everyone who ever said I was a freak was right..! I’m… I’m..”

He felt another hand on his shoulder. “John, you are not nothing. What’s happened to you in the past.. What you’ve done.. Things are different now. Can you look at me? I need you to understand this.”

John took a shaky breath and raised his head. Bruce moved his hand to John’s cheek, and his glove felt surprisingly warm to John. He felt his thumb swipe over his cheek.

“You’re just as human as the rest of us. Nothing that we’ve learned here has changed how I feel about you, alright?”

John nodded after a moment, taking a shaky breath.

“I’m going to ask again. Can you walk?” Bruce asked. He nodded again.

Bruce moved to stand and John follow him, reaching out and holding his gauntlets for support. Bruce swiped the drive from the PC, stuffing it into his belt. John pulled the cape back around himself, and he felt Bruce wrap an arm around him to keep him steady.

The ride back to the manor was silent on John’s part. He stared out the window, his mind racing. So many things were going through his mind. He remembered Amelia and Gene- his ‘parents’ if he could even call them that. The lab was so bright and bare, but it was his home.

He remembered the feeling of the file in his hands, the feeling of horror washing over him as he discovered who- _what_ \- he was. He would always sneak around Amelia and Gene’s things, looking for any information on him.

His name wasn’t even a name. It was just an initial. He remembered staring up at the green ceiling in his room, trying to comprehend what he’d discovered.

“ _Life is valuable. Good people deserve to live their lives_.” Amelia had said. “ _Bad people… sometimes bad people don’t deserve to live_.” He’d sat up in his bed, an anger he’d never felt before pulsing through his veins.

Everyone he’d known had lied to him his whole life. They were _not_ good people. They deserved to _die_.

John suddenly blinked, snapping out of his memory. That must’ve been the first time he’d ever gotten the urge. He’d been taught it since he was able to understand death. It had been instilled in his mind for the most important years of his life.

Bruce was talking to someone, and by the conversation John could tell that he was calling the GCPD and letting them know about the warehouse. John looked down at his hands again.

He had become the monster they’d made him to be. Even through amnesia and years of being alone, the thing that they had created him for still came out.

John clenched his fists. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair at all. He wasn’t even given a chance at a normal life. He’d been thrown into something he’d never asked for.

He was still in shock. He still felt freezing and like he was burning at the same time. Everything was coming at him so fast, but he felt sluggish at the same time.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to feel like he was real again. He wanted to feel like him again.

He watched people on the streets as the Batmobile zoomed past. A few people waved excitedly, clearly happy to see that Batman was back. Normally John would’ve grinned and said something about it.

John wasn’t sure if he’d ever be back to normal again.

He’d been a killer and he hadn’t even known about it. He’d killed in cold blood. Killed at least two people, maybe more. How many bodies did he have to his name now? He pressed his face into his hands. Too many.

He pulled himself out of the Batmobile, Bruce’s cape still wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Bruce slipped off his cowl, glancing over at him briefly. He walked over to him, and John could tell that he was struggling to stay calm for him.

“Do you want to keep the cape for now?”

John shook his head, bundling the cape up in his arms before throwing his arms around Bruce again, pressing into him as much as he could.

Bruce ran a hand up and down his back. “I have to change out of the suit. Will you be alright on your own for a couple minutes?”

John nodded, loosening his hold on Bruce. Bruce stepped back, taking his cape with him. “Sit down. Take a moment to breath.”

Bruce went off to change and John made his way to the computer. He sat down in the chair, pulling his legs up to chin. He looked at the blank screen, able to clearly see his reflection in it. He swallowed thickly.

Everything was different now. He _looked_ different now.

What was he supposed to do? Tell someone? That would be impossible. Crane was already coming after him, he didn't need more people after him. He couldn't make Bruce and himself bigger targets.

Besides, no one would believe him. They'd all think he'd snapped again and probably throw him in a deeper and darker hole.

The cave was damp and humid, but John still felt like he was freezing. He tilted his head up, looking at the ceiling. There was a group of bats hanging, not a care in the world.

They were probably only thinking about their next meal, and even then they probably weren't worried. John closed his eyes, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. He just wanted to curl up and sleep forever. He was tired. He was so tired.

He must've dozed off because everything was dark, and then he heard someone say his name softly. He blinked, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Come on, I'll get you upstairs.”

He blinked up at Bruce, then stood after a few seconds, pressing his face into his shoulder. “Nothing feels the same, but.. everything is the same, isn't it?”

Bruce sighed softly. “Nothing’s changed, John.” He plugged something into the computer, and John realized it was the drive.

Bruce led him to the elevator, and when they started to move John spoke again.

“Was.. was this how you felt? Is this how you feel _still_?” He asked.

“It's how I felt.” Bruce replied. “The initial shock lasted about a week. It.. it got easier to manage.”

John managed a small smile. “You weren't quite how I am, were you? You probably just locked yourself in your room for hours at a time instead of crying.” He laced their fingers together and Bruce gave a shrug.

“I did both. I didn’t want to cry in front of Alfred so I did it in private.”

John frowned. “But there’s nothing wrong with crying.”

“No, you’re right, but at the time I thought it made me weak. So my sadness turned into anger instead.” Bruce sighed softly. “I thought that crying meant I was giving up, like I was giving in. I thought that being pissed off would make people think I was strong, or something like that.”

“I.. I don’t even know what this feeling is.” John said softly, his gaze falling. The elevator stopped and Bruce began to lead him out, squeezing his hand.

“Describe it.”

They left the room and went down the hall, going to the room across from the kitchen. Bruce motioned for John to sit, and the younger man sunk into the couch. Bruce sat next to him, allowing him some space.

“It’s… I feel everything really intensely.. But at the same time it’s all just coming together and.. I don’t know.” John answered. “Nothing feels real. _I_ don’t feel real.” He leaned against Bruce, resting his head on his shoulder.

“If you’re ever ready to talk I’ll be ready. You can maybe talk to Joan about it.”

John shook his head. “No. I can’t let anyone else know.”

“You’re worried she’ll be put in danger.”

“Yes. Not only does it put her in danger, it will explode this whole thing and I don’t want that!” John pulled away from Bruce. “I can’t.. I already put you in direct danger. I can’t let Joan get involved, too. If people find out what we know then they will come after us. I.. no one will believe me, anyway.”

John glanced up at Bruce. Bruce was looking down, and he looked up after a moment. “Right. At least.. at the moment it seems that only Crane is targeting you and no one else.”

“This wasn’t just some group, Bruce. These guys had a lot of secrecy revolving around them.”

“Well, if you had a dark secret that could get you thrown in jail, would you tell it to the guy who puts away criminals?” Bruce asked softly, and John still couldn’t quite place the expression that crossed his face.

“When you put it that way… no. Are you saying that’s proof that Crane is acting alone?” John replied, tilting his head.

“He wasn’t a big part of the project. They brought him in for psych evaluations, but he was only working with them for a handful of years.” Bruce said. “He probably doesn’t care about what happens to them. Hell, he probably knows that they’ve all gone underground.”

Bruce pulled out his phone, and after a minute of scrolling his brows furrowed together. “That’s.. odd.”

John scooted closer to him. “What’s up?”

“Well, I plugged in the drive to let the computer sort through all the files.” Bruce said. “Basically all video files of Amelia I suspect, but.. There’s a file that’s _not_ a video.”

He tapped the screen, pointing it so John could look as well. A blank page popped up with a set of numbers and hyphens on it. John swallowed thickly.

“Oh, Bruce, that’s not..?”

Bruce let out a soft sigh. “It’s a phone number. No idea whose it is, but I doubt it’s Crane’s. He wanted me to find it- so it must be important.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t really seem like the type to give you a number to call as a prank.” John replied. “You wanna call it?”

“I’ll scramble the line, but yes, I do.” He glanced over at John. “The scientists went underground- went into hiding. Crane may have kept tabs on them and this may be someone’s phone number.”

John’s shoulders fell. “I’m… not sure if I want to be around when you talk to them if they were part of the project.”

Bruce stood. “Stay here, get some rest. I’ll go down to the cave and make the call. I’ll come back when I’m finished, alright?”

The green-haired man nodded. “I’ll be right here.”

***

Bruce tapped the console as he began to scramble the line. He wasn’t exactly sure of what he would say, or what he’d find, but if the person on the other end could help him in any way he would take it.

He sighed softly and entered the number. The phone rang once, then twice.

“Hello?” He recognized the voice. It was slightly deeper than when he’d heard it before, but he knew exactly who it was.

“I’m calling about a mutual friend of ours.” He was scrambling the signal of the call in case she tried to figure out his location, and also was using his voice mod.

“I’m.. I’m sorry who is this?” Her voice rose slightly. “You’re… not with them are you?”

“The Agency? No.” Bruce replied. “But I do know what you did for them.”

He heard her take a breath. “Who are you? What are you talking about?”

“I know about Z.”

A few seconds of silence. “...I left that behind me. After that day… it was over. No more. What could you possibly want from me?”

“He’s still alive.”

“No. No, you’re wrong. He died in that asylum.” She replied, her voice dropping to almost a whisper.

“He made national and international headlines a few months ago. You know that he was Joker and that he’s alive. Don’t try to deny it.” Bruce said.

“I… I don’t want any part in this.” Her voice was shaky. “I left all of that- I left him behind. They hid me- hid all of us. We just keep quiet and keep our heads down-”

“Someone’s targeting him.” Bruce cut in.

“Targeting..? The Agency- they’re coming after us, aren’t they..?”

“We’re not sure yet. While The Agency was in Gotham they gave no indication that they knew Z’s past, and given the kind of organization they are, I believe that.”

“No, not even the director would know. It was a high security project.”

“I need details.” Bruce replied. They needed to know everything about the project.

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. “The objective was to create the perfect soldier. We.. had to perfect human DNA and start from scratch. We tried for months… months of trials and tests and figuring out just what the hell we had to do. When Z came along.. He developed much faster than a normal baby does. They had ideas of him being a covert spy or some shit, I don’t remember. The plan was to introduce Z to The Agency once he was finished with training. Only the five of us knew about it, and those who hired us. Even the trainers Z worked with didn’t really know what they were doing it for.”

“‘The five of us’, you mean you, Gene, Crane, and the two others?”

“Don't say his-! Yes.. just the five of us. Crane wasn’t put underground because he didn’t work with Z too much. He was mostly with SANCTUS, I think.”

“Did you know about his ideas on torture?”

“God, no. If I had I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near Z… guess I had at least some morals left…”

Bruce sighed. “I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to ask about Crane. He’s the one targeting Z. He’s actually how I got this number and how I found out the truth about Z’s past.”

“Crane? ...Listen.” Bruce could hear the tension in her voice. “I destroyed Z’s life. If you have any way of giving him a chance at one you’d better take it. I don’t know if you’re friends. I don’t know if you’re some random guy that got wrapped up in all of this. I just know that I want Z to have a life. A good one. A real one. The psychological damage that’s been done may be too great. I know he’s killed, but he’s good.”

“I know. He’s my friend. I have to ask.. why’d you do it?”

“I was young and desperate. Finding a job was harder than I thought it would be. I was getting behind on rent. I was stupid. I was in too deep by the time they actually started to reveal the whole thing to me.”

“But others left early on in the project and wanted you to do the same.”

“I was attached to Z. I didn’t want them to hurt him. I hoped maybe I could be a buffer, or something. ..If Crane’s going after him, then The Agency might follow. Tackling a government organization won’t be easy. I don’t know if you’ll be able to gather proof that they experimented on Z in order to lighten his sentence or get them off your backs.”

“I don’t think they want anything to do with Z. Crane’s our main focus for now.”

“I saw on the news.. He’s the one who set Arkham on fire?”

“Yes, and I think he’s going for a direct attack on my city. He might want Z to take the fall, I don’t know.”

“Crane was never big on the whole ‘failure’ thing, so he might just be trying to kill Z. What do you mean by ‘direct attack’?”

“That drug he was thinking of developing that would make people go insane from seeing their worst fears.. He’s been making it. Perfecting it. I think he wants to release it upon the city.”

“Then I hope for your sake that you can stop him. I already told you that I don’t want any part in this. I have a family- a new life. ...If you try to call this number again then you will not get an answer.”

“Changing numbers in case Crane tries to come after you?”

“Yes. I’ve read enough of that man’s work to know that he does not leave any stone unturned. Tell.. tell Z that.. that Amelia and Gene love him.”

Bruce ended the call. He hadn't expected to get any more information from her, but he was hoping for something a little deeper than what she gave him. He couldn't really blame her though, she'd been forced into hiding and was afraid someone would come after her. She wanted nothing to do with what happened.

Bruce returned to the room he’d left John in. “Hey, I’m back..”

He looked at the couch he’d left him on, seeing that John was now laying down. He walked over to him, and when he got close enough he quickly realized that John was fast asleep, curled up in a ball.

Bruce gave a soft sigh. He ducked back out into the hall to grab a blanket from the closet. He carefully draped it over John, making sure he was comfortable.

He then sat down on the other end of the couch, looking over at John silently. The brief idea of joining him in sleep crossed Bruce’s mind, but it quickly went away. He had to think of a plan of attack. He had to find Crane and stop him from unleashing the drug upon the city. It would either do exactly what was intended, or it would fail entirely, and Bruce wasn’t sure which was worse.

He went through a mental list. Where could Crane be hiding? How much of the drug had he created? Was he working alone, with other scientists, or just with random thugs? How was he going to disperse the drug? What was his end goal?

Crane’s hiding spot. Sticking to the abandoned warehouses by the docks would be a dumb move. Crane wasn’t an idiot. Taking his inventory into account, Bruce doubted it would be a small hiding spot either.

How much had Crane created? There were plenty of mushrooms in the warehouse. He’d probably been tweaking and working with the formula for years. Bruce didn’t put it past him to buy those mushrooms in bulk, legally or otherwise. There had to be enough to take down the entire city- take down over 10 million people.

Bruce didn’t exactly know how the gas worked, but he figured Crane wouldn’t be able to carry it all around by himself. Those guns guarding the warehouse were probably not a one-time thing. Crane’s hiding spot had to be big enough for himself, his drug supply, and his men.

Dispersing the drug was another thing. Crane either had created a system that would expose it to a large number of Gothamites, or he was going to use a system that was already in place.

If he was working with other scientists, he likely wouldn’t protect them. He seemed to be in it all for himself.

But.. what was he exactly trying to accomplish? Destroy Gotham? What had it ever done to him? Did he somehow blame the city and the university for causing the scientific community to see how horrible his ideas were? Now that was quite the grudge.

Bruce was just about to go through a smaller list of possible hiding places when he heard John stir next to him. He pushed himself up, blinking at Bruce sleepily. His hair was even more of a mess than usual, and he rubbed his eyes. “Mmm.. Bruce? How long have I been out? Did you call the number?”

He sat up on his knees then sat down next to Bruce, curling against his side. Bruce put an arm around him and John pressed his face against his shoulder. “I didn’t find out anything that useful, but I did..” Bruce glanced over at him. “... the whole experiment was basically designed to create soldiers.”

John gave a soft sigh, looking down into his lap. “Soldiers… I can’t believe that I’m supposed to be a soldier.”

“You’re not supposed to be anything, John.” Bruce said softly, causing the other man to look up at him.

“No?”

“No, you can always just be you. You don’t have to be something. You’re someone.” Bruce replied. “Society expects me to be a spoiled billionaire playboy, and.. That’s really not me. You can find your own path, your own way.”

John raised his eyebrows. “Holy cow, Bruce! I didn’t think you could get so philosophical! Then again, I’m sure there’s a lot going on in that head that I don’t know about.” He took Bruce’s hand between his own. “Thanks, though.”

“I’m not going to pretend like this won’t be hard for you.” Bruce said, squeezing his hand. “But I can tell you that things will get easier.”

John gave him a small smile. “I know.. And I also know that I’m not the thing they created. I’m not some weapon that can be used for other people’s gain. I just…want to get through this. That’s a good thing to want, right?”

Bruce nodded. “Yeah.. yeah it is. You can help me put away Crane and save the city, and we’ll get through this.”

“So… what were you thinking about before I interrupted your thoughts?” John asked.

“Possible places where Crane could be hiding, and also how he might be thinking of dispersing the drug.” Bruce replied.

“Well, what’ve you got?”

“I’m guessing that he needs some place big enough to hold all of his supplies.”

“Huh.. an entirely new location would be my best guess.” John replied. “He’d want to stay as hidden as possible for as long as possible.”

“Right, but then we have to account for dispersion. Either he has a system and needs to be near a highly populated area to release it himself, or he knows of an external system on a much larger scale that will do it for him.” Bruce blinked. “If… if we go with the latter.. The Children of Arkham tried to use the skyrails to deliver their drug..”

“You think he might be doing the same thing?” John asked. “It..it would make sense. Abandoned stations.. could disperse it quickly and discreetly without even being seen if he was fast enough.”

Bruce frowned after a moment. “But the police know about that. They did something with the system to prevent something like that from happening again. It has to be something else.”

John huffed. “Butts. Maybe he has his own system then?”

“As much as I don't want that to be true.. now I think we have to assume that.” Bruce replied. “He might not even need a system, the gas might be able to disperse rapidly on its own. I grabbed a few papers before you called me over to the computer in the warehouse but.. I'm not a chemist. It's a lot of equations.. and his handwriting is practically illegible.”

John quirked an eyebrow. “Did you scan them into the system? I'm good at reading bad handwriting.”

Bruce pulled up the equations on his phone, handing it over for John to look at. “Isn't your handwriting terrible? Shouldn't that make you instantly be good at reading bad handwriting?”

“My extent for reading bad handwriting doesn't go much further than my own.”

“Sure, Bruce… huh. Well, I don't really know what all the letters and numbers mean, but I think the writing here says… ‘ _The Bat is priority_ ’.. pfff, real nice.”

“So Batman is a target.”

“Right… oh, he's got some more notes on you! ‘ _Loner, probably doesn't have a family or they're dead, possible reason for vigilantism?_ ’ Uh oh, Bruce. This guy’s hitting closer than I think anyone ever has. Let's see, he also called you a ‘priority target’ and that you need to be dealt with ASAP. Well, he's done his research.”

“I'm not surprised.” Bruce crossed his arms. “He's insane, but he's smart. Maybe he and Riddler were college roommates.”

“Hah! Now that's quite a hoot! Those two creating a lab in their dorm room and conjuring up grand plans to become the biggest baddest super villains!”

Bruce gave him a small smile. “Maybe, but Riddler went insane after becoming infected with the virus. His torture boxes may have been inspired by Crane, though.”

“Alright. But I still really enjoy the idea that if they weren't roommates they at least knew each other before working together!”

He squinted at the papers for a few more minutes before giving the phone back to Bruce. “Nothing explicit, just a tiny note that says ‘ _dispersion through high pressure_ ’ which could mean anything.”

Bruce sighed softly. “Thanks for trying. High pressure means he probably has devices that’ll disperse it for him. Canisters that will keep the gas at a higher pressure than the pressure in the normal atmosphere.”

“And you said you weren't a chemist! Good thinking, Brucie!”

“Taking chemistry classes in high school and college doesn't automatically make me a chemist, but.. Thanks. It doesn’t help us too much, though.”

John grinned. “Ah, well, what’s our next move? We shouldn’t really go out again during the day, right?”

Bruce sighed. “No, we shouldn’t. We can’t afford exposure and we don’t have any good leads. Tiffany might be able to go out later and see if she can find out anything for us.”

The young man reached up and cupped Bruce’s cheek, turning his face so he had to look at him. Bruce blinked. “John?”

John had a certain glint in his eye. “We’re not in the hospital anymore…”

Bruce gently took John’s wrist into his hand, pulling it from his face as he realized what John meant. “John, not now. You’re just experiencing side effects from your medication, you’re upset...”

“I am, and so are you… I know exactly what we need to do in order to feel better..” John pressed a kiss to Bruce’s cheek.

“This… no. You don’t want this.”

John frowned, pulling back his hand. “You have no idea what I want! And you said ‘not now’ back at the hospital! When will you be ready? I’ve been ready for, like… two years! And with how many women you’ve slept with I figured you’d be ready for this at a moment’s notice!”

Bruce stared at him for a few seconds before lowering his gaze, looking away from him. He crossed his arms instinctively, swallowing around the ache in his throat. John didn’t really mean that. It was just side effects. They happened on and off and after the shock John had gone through it had just been worse. It was fine. Everything was fine. Bruce was fine.

Bruce was not fine. But he couldn’t let himself fall down that hole. Not now, not when they had to save Gotham, not when he was sitting next to John.

“Hey… Bruce, b-buddy..”

He had no idea how long he’d been lost in thought. “ _What_?” It came out harsher than he meant for it to, trying to hide how upset he was. He looked over at John, who was running his thumb over the scar on his right palm. John looked up at him, blinking.

“I.. I don't know why I said that.” His brows furrowed together. “It was… wrong. And really.. really rude. And I don't know why I tried to get you to… you know..”

Bruce sighed softly. “It's your medication. It's giving you side effects.”

John frowned. “I'm.. I’m sorry. I don't think I can control it.”

“I don't… I don't blame you.”

John reached over and tugged on Bruce’s hand, pulling it gently and holding it between his own. “I know we already talked about it, but.. I guess I never fully realized how big the outbursts were.”

“That was your biggest one.” Bruce replied. “I think it’s from the shock of what happened earlier.”

The younger man shook his head. “I can’t… I can’t let that define me, Bruce. I mean, I’ve lived all these years like a- somewhat- normal person. You said earlier that nothing’s changed now that we know. And it’s true, right?”

Bruce nodded. “Of course. You’re still you.”

“While it was all hitting me.. I was starting to worry that they’d succeeded in creating a weapon, a monster, something to be used. It’s not true?”

“Only if you let it be.”

John squeezed his hand. “I don’t want it to be true. I want to be good. I just… I just want to be me. I can still do that, right?”

“Yes. You have time, John.”

“Good. Cuz I wanna take Crane’s butt and throw it in jail before our week is up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did want this to be a bit longer, but I found a decent stopping place. Really hoping I can bang out the next one and keep the "uploading every two weeks cuz school takes up so much writing time" schedule and have it be the last chapter. Then an epilogue will follow.  
> Thanks so much for reading and sticking with it guys! I just mostly wanted to focus on the fallout of the plot bomb from the end of Chapter 8 and how John was dealing with it in this one.  
> If you guys haven't heard Troy Baker's album Sitting in the Fire please please PLEASE listen to it! For this chapter and 8 that's what I mostly listened to while writing. Such a good album, Troy is a beast lmao  
> Thanks again so much guys! I hope you're still enjoying it, even if this chapter wasn't very plot-heavy. Hopefully I'll see you again in two weeks!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm very surprised I actually got this out in time! Yes!!

Tiffany crossed her arms, shaking her head. “God… Alright, what do we need to do next? I can go out right now.”

Bruce leaned back against the console. He’d filled Tiffany in on what they’d uncovered, glossing over the part about John as best as he could. He mainly focused on Crane and how they were going to prevent him from releasing the Fear Toxin upon the city.

“Do we have enough proof to call for an evacuation?” Tiffany asked.

Bruce shook his head. “I don’t think so. You can take everything we have down to the station and try, but considering Crane isn’t a known criminal, I don’t think they’ll be quick to evacuate.”

Tiffany rolled her eyes. “But this could kill people!”

“I know.”

“A lot of people!”

“I know, but you know that we aren’t the ones to decide if the evidence is concrete enough.”

She sighed. “Fine, but I’m going to march into Gordon’s office myself and hand him everything we have. It’ll at least put the police on alert.”

“Good call. After you talk to Jim see if you can find anything on Crane. Any criminals that may know or may have heard something. All we have is word on the street at this point.”

She nodded, grabbing the drive and beginning to walk off to suit up. She only got a few steps away before she looked back at him. “You’re going to let me fight him with you, right?”

Bruce sighed after a moment. “Depends on how dangerous he is- and I know that I say that all the time.” He replied. “I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire, but I also know I can’t keep you in reserve for forever… I might need backup out there.”

She grinned. “Yes! Alright, I’ll head out in a few. Will call you ASAP if anything develops.”

She jogged off, and Bruce was alone. He decided to head back upstairs to see John. When he’d left him he was eating in the kitchen.

John was sitting on the counter with his legs crossed, his eyes closed and his hands on his knees. He opened one eye, glancing over at Bruce. “Heya, Brucie. Where's Tiffany?”

“I sent her to go give the GCPD the info we have..” Bruce blinked, glancing John over. “Are you.. meditating?”

“Hah, I wouldn't say that. I'd say I'm… _trying_ to meditate.”

Bruce leaned against the counter. “It's easier to do it in a comfortable environment.”

John glanced around. “..I'm comfy in the kitchen!”

“I mean like… on a soft surface. In a quiet place.”

John opened his other eye, a small grin crossing his face. “You're trying to get me out of your kitchen!”

“I'm not. I'm just saying that a marble countertop isn't exactly the most comfortable place to sit.”

John huffed softly. “Yeah, I guess you're right. I wasn't getting much headway anyway. ...Wait, Bruce, how do you know so much about meditation?” He gasped softly. “Are you secretly a master of the mystic arts??”

“Uh, not quite. But I've done my fair share of meditation.”

“Oh, right. That makes sense. Does it help?”

“Depends on how I feel.” Bruce replied. “Some days it helps me calm down, some days it just pisses me off more when it doesn't work.”

John hopped down from the counter and wrapped his arms around Bruce. He pressed his cheek against his shoulder, humming softly. “Hehe, ever thought of going into comedy? I think you'd be great at stand up. You could deliver the stories and punchlines with the most deadpan expression known to man.”

A small smile crossed Bruce’s face. He ran his hand up and down John’s back. “No, no, I'll leave that to the professionals. And besides, you only find what I say amusing because you love me.”

John slid his arms to hang loosely around Bruce’s neck. “Or maybe I love you because you say amusing things.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips to Bruce’s ear.

He pulled back, reaching up with a hand and running his thumb over Bruce’s cheek. He frowned. “Your cheek is rough. You haven't shaved.”

Bruce brought his own hand up to his other cheek. It was scratchy. “Shaving has literally been the last thing on my mind the last couple days.”

John covered Bruce's hand with his own, now cupping both of his cheeks. He gently pressed his lips against Bruce’s, and Bruce pressed back.

When John pulled away he cleared his throat. “Go take a shower and shave. Taking a shower is one of the best times to contemplate and think over your life. Or something along those lines.”

“You'll be ok?”

John nodded, a small grin crossing his face. “I'm ok for now. Take care of yourself. You can stop worrying about me for a few minutes.”

Bruce gave him a soft sigh. “Alright. Will you keep meditating?”

John shrugged. “Probably. I like the feel of this room! Hey- what about food? Let's decide after you come back from your you time.”

Bruce nodded and pressed a kiss to John’s forehead. When he pulled away John pecked his lips again and wrapped his arms around Bruce tightly. They stood there for a moment before Bruce spoke.

“Are you _sure_ you'll be ok?”

John pulled back, grinning. “Yeah, just needed a quick Brucie fix, now go!”

Bruce made his way upstairs. It was only the afternoon, but upon seeing his bed he could feel a wave of exhaustion hit him. He passed it, knowing that if he slept now he would be out until the next morning.

He didn’t fully realize just how much he needed the shower until the hot water hit his skin, and he sighed as it hit his muscles. Maybe when this was all over he could go see a massage therapist.

After toweling himself off he wiped the mirror, able to see his reflection in the cold glass. He hadn’t really taken the time to stop and look at himself that day, so he was surprised to see some stubble appearing on his face. He shaved practically every other day to keep his facial hair down, having been taught by Alfred when he was 16.

Bruce was finished after a couple minutes. He toweled his hair again, then parted it and styled it back. He pulled on the clothes that he’d been wearing earlier, then stepped out of the bathroom.

“Now, _this_ is quite the sleeping space, buddy!”

Bruce blinked, his eyes falling to John who was laying horizontally at the foot of his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

“I mean, you’ve got the giant bed, the giant doors, the balcony, everything!” John rolled over and looked at him, grinning. Bruce leaned against the doorway to the bathroom.

“So much for meditation.”

John giggled. “Well, I tried for a couple more minutes and nothing worked. I’m just in a bad mindset, I guess.”

Bruce walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, and John sat up, leaning against him. “Ah, you always make me feel calm, Bruce.”

“I make _you_ feel calm?”

“Yeah!” John nuzzled his shoulder. “I dunno what it is, you just… put me at ease. When I’m with you I just feel like it’s all gonna be ok. If you hadn’t been there when I found out the truth about my past… I dunno what I would’ve done.”

He took Bruce’s hand between his own, turning it over and looking at it. “I’m.. thanks for being patient with me.” He looked up at him, a small smile on his lips. “I hit the jackpot on the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Bruce’s lips. “You think so?”

John grinned widely. “Oh for sure! I mean you’re smart, strong, and super duper handsome! You’ve got a big heart and you put the needs of an entire city of strangers before yours! You’re just… so great! Like, loving you is probably the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do!”

Bruce felt his cheeks heating up as John spoke. He cleared his throat. “That’s.. You’re talking as if I’m some superhero, John.”

“Well, yeah! You are!”

“Uh… don’t superheroes need superpowers? I don’t have any, and besides, Batman is just a vigilante.”

John dramatically rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to be able to fly to be a hero! And vigilante is just what the mainstream people say! Batman fights for the people, for the city! He fights when the police don’t! He never shoots first then asks later. And you fight too, Bruce. You run about a bajillion charities, employ people in the lower classes, and pretend to be a typical rich guy when you’re really not!”

Bruce blinked at him. That was a lot of information thrown at him in the span of only a few seconds. He only heard about 80% of what John said, but he was fairly certain that he had no argument for any points that John had made.

“I.. guess you’re right.”

John nuzzled his shoulder, smiling at him. It had started to sprinkle outside since Bruce had been in the shower.

“So. We’ve got no leads, Tiffany is trying to convince the police to do something, and we have no clue where Crane might be.” John mumbled.

“Sometimes in an investigation you just have to wait for something to happen or for something to click.” Bruce replied. “We just have to hope that that happens before Crane decides to attack the city.”

He felt his pocket buzz and slipped out his phone. It was Tiffany. “Hey, how’s it going down at the station?”

Tiffany sighed. “Gordon’s trying to work on a few things, but he doubts he’ll be able to make anything happen. Our proof is enough for him, but not for the people he works for.”

“So we’re stuck until Crane makes the next move.” John sat up a bit at that, the smile on his face fading.

“Yeah. We’re stuck.”

Bruce shook his head. “..Thanks for trying. You did all you could.”

“I’m going to stay out here and scope out highly populated areas. I... really think Crane will try something tonight.”

“If you have the feeling then act upon it. I feel like he might need more time, but if you’re worried stay out there.”

“Talk soon.”

He ended the call and John spoke. “You can join her, you know. I know you’re worried about her.”

“She doesn’t want me to hold her hand. This is another part of the investigation that belongs to her. I need to let her get out by herself.”

“You can also leave me alone, you know.”

Bruce looked over at him. “I was gone for ten minutes and you started to get anxious. I can’t leave you here for a couple hours.”

“I wasn’t getting anxious!”

“John, it’s ok. It’s normal to feel…” Bruce trailed off, trying to find the right word.

“Clingy?” John asked, a small pout in his face. “Cuz I’m feeling kinda clingy.”

“I was going to say ‘attached’, but that works, too.”

John huffed. “Trust me. If you go out and fight with Tiffany, I’m perfectly content with staying here. I don’t wanna be near Crane, and I’m not a fighter like you guys. I’d rather you be out there than something happen and you have to rush out. It’s better if you go now and be there.”

“You think that something’s going to happen, too?”

“Better be safe than sorry. I’m with Tiffany on this- I think Crane’s had plenty time. He used his gas on Arkham and it seemed to do what he planned it to do.”

“I’ll call Iman and ask her to come here. You two can stay in and I’ll go join Tiffany, alright? You can talk to her if you need to.”

John nodded. “She.. should probably know, shouldn’t she?”

“Only if you want to tell her. I gave Tiffany as little information about you as I could.”

“I’ll think about it. Call her and suit up.”

***

“You have a feeling that Crane is going to attack the city?”

“Maybe it’s just paranoia, but I do. Something just isn’t settling right with me, and it’s not just the rain.”

Bruce finished slipping on his gauntlets and made his way over to the Batcomputer. John was perched on the table while Iman sat in the chair.

“What did you guys find on your past and Crane? Anything?” She asked. She glanced over at Bruce as his eyes locked with John’s for just a second.

“Uh.. how about Bruce heads out. Then we can talk about it.” John said, his grin fading slightly.

“Oh, sure.” She looked between the two men. “Bruce, are you ready? This could potentially turn into quite the standoff.”

“Tiffany will be with me.” Bruce replied. “The comms are linked to both of us. If anything happens we’ll alert you two and the police immediately. I don’t know exactly what will happen, but I’ll think of a plan.”

John flashed him a thumbs-up as he put on the cowl. “Good luck, Bats!”

Iman nodded. “Good luck, Batman.”

Bruce turned to John. “If anything happens to me, you know you’re not allowed to go out there.”

John huffed. “Yes, Bats.”

Bruce was soon in the driver’s seat of the Batmobile and was quickly on his way to the city. He kept on glancing at the skyline, looking for any signs of danger. “Tiffany where are you?”

“On a rooftop, 15th and North. Are you coming?”

“ETA three minutes, I’m crossing Gotham bridge. Anything out of the ordinary?”

“No. I’ve been monitoring the skytrains as best as I can, nothing to report. Been trying to monitor other rooftops, nothing there either.”

Bruce sped along the street. He tucked the Batmobile in an alley on 14th and got onto a rooftop, making his way over to Tiffany. He surveyed the city as Tiffany walked over to him.

“What made you decide to come out?” She asked.

“I was considering it when you said you had a hunch, and after John said he felt the same way and I felt like I could leave him with Iman..”

She nodded. “Right. I’ll just keep staking out- you can take the other side of the rooftop. I had a drone flying around but the battery was running low. It’s charging.”

Bruce nodded and they parted. He sat down on the edge of the roof, looking over his portion of the city. He saw GU across the bridge. It was a weekend night, people would be filling the streets to go to clubs or go on dates. For such a dangerous city, Gotham had a pretty big nightlife. As long as you stuck to the club districts and didn’t take shortcuts down alleys you’d be fine, but there were some seedier bars in the poorer districts.

“Have you thought about the crowds that will gather later on?”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m worried about. He might hit a club and half-naked strippers will run out into the night screaming about their greatest fears.” Bruce almost smirked. “But in all seriousness- yeah. If he wants maximum damage he’ll either hit tonight around 11, or tomorrow morning between 7 and 9.”

They sat in silence again. The sun was barely visible after twenty minutes, cutting the daylight short. In the fall and winter Bruce was glad that the suit was very warm. It wasn’t freezing out that night, but it was in the 40s, and he knew it would only get colder and colder.

Lights in bars turned on, the sign for a club on the corner to his left lit up in bright neon pink. He checked his gauntlet, it was already nine. He’d been out for over two hours just observing.

Those who enjoyed nightlife filled the streets, and Bruce saw a girl pop out of the club on the corner. It was difficult to tell, he at least saw that she was wearing a coat to keep warm, but he was sure she was convincing people to come in. He glanced to his right and caught sight of three unmarked trucks crossing the bridge.

“Three trucks on the bridge, can you get your drone out?”

“On it.” A drone whizzed by Bruce after a few seconds, going to chase after the trucks. After a few minutes of silence Tiffany came back on.

“Bastards knew I was following them- they must’ve sent out a wave of some sort. The drone short-circuited and is down.”

Bruce stood. “Last known location?”

“21st and Lincoln.”

“I’m following them. Stay here.”

“These guys shot down the drone!” Tiffany stood on the other side of the roof, jogging over to him. “They know! It has to be Crane! I’m not letting you take the full force of whatever he’s got in store!”

Bruce sighed, shaking his head to himself. “Alright, you’re coming with.” She turned on her pack and took off to the next rooftop as Bruce pulled out his grapple gun, shooting it. After he landed and began to run he turned on the comms.

“We’re in pursuit. Three unmarked trucks. They short-circuited a drone which means they know that we’re onto them.”

Iman came on. “Last known location was 21st and Lincoln.. checking camera footage now..”

“Heading east on 21st I think.” Tiffany said. “It will dump them right into the club district if they don't turn at all.”

Bruce landed on a taller rooftop and jumped off, gliding an entire block. “We were right- they plan on attacking tonight.”

John came on. “Ooooh, CCTV shows they're still heading on 21st- oh, wait! They just drove _into_ a building! Poe Avenue, tall building, glass, a fancy office building I think.”

“Are there people inside?”

“It doesn't look like anyone’s running out, but it's too hard to tell with the camera quality and bad lighting.”

“I'm approaching the building.” Tiffany said. “Looks like cops are already here, do I enga- oh, _shit_!”

Bruce could see her a couple rooftops away. “What?” She was backing away from the edge of the roof.

“I think they released a small canister of the Fear Toxin, these guys just rolled out this canister of _something_.”

Bruce caught up to her, and he saw what she was talking about. It had the same reddish tint that the gas at the Arkham fire had.

“We’re going in.”

Bruce grabbed his gas mask, glancing at Tiffany as he put it on. She put hers on, then nodded to him. They jumped to the street.

“Fall back, _now_!” Bruce yelled. The street was covered with glass. The trucks had all gone through the front of the building and were parked in the lobby. Half a dozen police cars had pulled up, and officers were retreating at Batman’s order. The gas began to dissipate as the canister ran out. One officer that had clearly been affected was being half restrained, half carried by two others.

About ten figures in black were in the lobby. Two were falling over, from the gas or gunshot wounds Bruce couldn’t tell. The others were dragging larger canisters to an elevator farther in the lobby. Bruce caught sight of a figure in brown ducking into the elevator.

“Call this in, this is a city-wide issue!” Tiffany said to an officer. When they just stared at her for a moment she rolled her eyes. “Oh come _on_!” She ran over to one of the cars and pulled out the radio, speaking into it.

“It’s Crane, we’ve got a few injuries.” Bruce ran into the building, heading for truck. One person was unloading at each truck. The first guy was tubby, short, and balding.

“Pff, Batman, the hell’re you doin’ here? I thought this was supposed to be an easy job!” He said. He grabbed a crowbar from the back of the truck and swung.

Bruce easily dodged, stepping back just once, then sweeped the guy’s legs. He was clearly not the best and brightest. The goon fell, cursing out Batman. Bruce pushed him down to the floor and tied his hands. He glanced at the remaining supplies in the back of the truck, then went for the next one.

The next member of Crane’s crew was a woman with long blonde hair. When she faced him, her face scrunched up. “Batman? Look, I appreciate what you do for us, I’m a big fan, really, but I couldn’t turn down this call.”

“What did Crane promise you?”

“Uh, more like what didn’t he promise me! A million bucks once this shitshow is all over!” She shrugged. “Sure beats living off of food from dumpsters.”

“Do you even know what his plan is?”

“Didn’t ask. Just heard the reward and jumped in.” She sighed, then pulled out a knife from her waistband. It was angled behind her where Bruce couldn’t see it. “Now, are we gonna fight, or what?”

She lunged forward, knife raising. Bruce dodged and then attempted a leg sweep, but spun around quickly and avoided it. She lunged for him again and he grabbed her wrist. She dropped it after a few seconds and he slid it across the floor to the opposite side of the room.

She attempted to get out of his grasp but he turned her over, pressing her against the side of the truck. He cuffed her and she dropped to the floor, staring daggers at him.

He wasn't sure if he should be worried or not that Crane’s thugs were easy to take care of.

Just as he was getting to the back of the last truck it sped off. He shook his head, turning to attention to the elevator. Tiffany and the police could take care of the truck.

Two men were loading a large canister into the elevator, clearly hurrying to get ahead of Batman.

Bruce grappled to the elevator. He had only a second to decide: take out the two men or get in the elevator with the gas?

One of the men pressed a number on the elevator, but they both dove out of the way once Batman came towards them. Bruce decided on the gas.

He stepped into the elevator and the doors closed. There were risks: Crane might have men on other floors and the elevator might stop on one of them. Or the canister would dispense the gas into the elevator with Bruce inside. He really was hoping neither would happen.

“I’m with a gas canister going up in one of the elevators.” He glanced at the buttons. “We’re going up to the roof, Crane must be up there. What’s the situation looking like?”

“More cops are here.” Tiffany said. “A truck just sped off but I couldn’t react in time to chase it.. Some of these men.. I don't know if they'll survive the Fear Toxin. The surrounding blocks are being evacuated. I'll try to join you as soon as I can.”

“No, it's better if you stay on the ground and get people to safety.” Bruce replied. “I know I said I'd take your help, but only join me if you aren't needed down there.”

“..Ok.”

“We don't know how much gas he has up there.” Iman said. “He might have enough for the whole city.”

“He might.” Bruce said, glancing at the floor number. “If he releases it all we’ll just have to evacuate the city as soon as possible.”

“If he does.. if he does just make sure that you're off the roof.” Tiffany said.

“Key word: _if_!” John said. “This is all hypothetical! Bats will stop Crane in time! ...But yeah if something goes wrong get off that roof. Oh, and say something sassy to Crane for me!”

The elevator door opened with a soft ‘ding!’ and Bruce stepped out. It was dark, and as Bruce turned on his night mode he turned around. Behind the elevator he could see figures moving. One of them held up their hand to the others before speaking. “Batman? So soon?”

A light turned on and Crane stood near the edge of the roof. There were large canisters of gas, and he had two men with him. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Gotham’s… oh, what does the news call you? Something something Dark Knight, something something vigilante..”

He was wearing the covering on his face like the in the video at the warehouse. He was entirely wrapped in the material, and was sporting a farmer hat.

Bruce heard a helicopter in the distance, approaching their location. “Crane, end this-”

“It’s _Scarecrow_ , Batman!” He yelled back. “I’m not calling you by your real name, so you won’t call me by mine.”

Bruce paused, assessing the situation. He wasn’t sure if there was enough gas for the city, but if it traveled far Bruce figured it could cover at least up to a ten block radius. “Stand down, now.”

The light from the helicopter hit Bruce first, then Scarecrow and the thugs. Scarecrow broke his concentration from the conversation, glancing over the side of the roof. He turned back to his men, and before Bruce could run over, he was spraying something in their faces.

“You utter _morons_! If you hadn’t driven through the glass then the cops would’ve never shown up!”

The men fell to the ground, and Bruce’s almost stepped back once they started to scream. “What did you do to them?!”

Scarecrow shrugged, glancing back to the streets. “Just forcing them to face their fears.” He glanced at the helicopter. “Hope the public is getting a clear view..”

Bruce couldn’t charge him. The distance between them was too great, and Scarecrow easily would have time to set off one canister. Just one could be disastrous.

The men had stopped screaming and were lying motionless on the roof. “Why.. why are you doing this?” Bruce asked, daring to take a step forward as Scarecrow seemed hardly interested in him. “There are good people in Gotham. There are children, parents, students who’ve done nothing wrong..”

Scarecrow faced Bruce suddenly. “Good people in Gotham? Batman, surely the world’s greatest detective can figure out that that’s not the case! Gotham is full of vile, awful creatures. It’s full of people who only help themselves.”

“How can you even say that? You’ve never lived here.” Bruce heard more rumbling. Another helicopter?

“I did, actually. For four years I went to that miserable excuse for a university.” Scarecrow shook his head. “I wanted to help people-”

“Help? You call torture help?” Bruce asked.

“Think of all the criminal cases where the suspect got off easy.. Murders, robberies, rapes…” Scarecrow replied. “My toxin could make them confess or bring them to insanity and slowly kill them. Either way, the victim gets justice.”

“That is _not_ justice-”

“Oh, and you think running around at night dressed in black and beating up criminals is? You think letting Joker live _after all of those lives that he took_ is justice?! You think he doesn’t deserve to _die_ -?”

“He _doesn’t_!”

His voice rang out across the roof, and in the back of Bruce’s mind he knew he was slowly walking towards Crane. “That’s why you’re doing this, all of this! To get rid of him! To _murder_ him. And you know that what happened to him is _your_ fault! You _know_ that he was unstable..”

“ _They_ put him away! _We_ didn’t have any say in the matter-!” Scarecrow shouted.

“Oh, so you would’ve _killed_ him right there in the lab? To cover up for your failure?”

“He was a weapon, one that was expendable! He wasn’t meant to be normal! It’s their fault- _they should’ve taken the blame_!”

Something dawned on Bruce. “But instead you had to take it. That’s why they didn’t send you into hiding. Not because you weren’t involved- because you were- but because they wanted to push the blame onto a scientist that was already disliked... They didn’t want one of their own fresh young scientists to be blamed, they wanted someone they could easily throw out to be blamed.”

“He _wasn’t my fault_! And even if he was it doesn’t matter!” Scarecrow stepped over to one of the canisters. “I’m going to wipe this stupid, shitty city off of the face of the planet!”

“No!!”

Bruce sprinted over, but Scarecrow already was pulling open a canister. Bruce stepped back, getting out of the way as the gas fell over the roof, shooting outward and plummeting down into the streets.

Oh, _god_.

Bruce opened the comms. His voice was shaky but soft. “He’s opened one of the canisters. Tiffany, you need to evacuate everyone down there. Evacuate the block- evacuate the next _ten_ blocks-”

“You wanna know why I’m Scarecrow, Batman?” The scientist asked, stepping towards him. “Because like little animals and real scarecrows, everyone is going to be afraid of me. Even _you_.”

He turned another canister towards Bruce and soon gas was spilling out, heading towards Bruce. He managed to grapple over on top of the elevator, but the toxin was still making its way across the roof. “These are innocent lives! You don't…” Bruce blinked, suddenly feeling very warm, then grappled toward the opposite edge of the roof.

“He.. he spilled the gas on the roof..” Bruce’s vision went fuzzy. He thought he heard John’s voice over his comms but he wasn't quite sure if it was him. He thought he heard Tiffany, but he was trying to keep focused on Scarecrow.

He realized he had collapsed. He managed to turn away from the incoming gas stream, and before everything went black, he saw it go up and over the edge of the roof.

Then Bruce suddenly sat up, gasping for air. He coughed a few times, looking around the roof.

It was cloudy, but no longer night. As Bruce stood, he realized he was alone on the roof. Had he passed out? Why hadn’t Tiffany come back for him?

“Bruce.”

He recognized the voice. It was familiar, yet it was one that always made him tense up. He turned, his brows furrowing together once he saw the other person.

“Tiffany? How’d you get up here?” She was out of her gear, wearing her GU sweatshirt. “What about Crane?”

She frowned at him, giving him that same look she had when he told her the truth at the funeral. “You let my father _die_ , Bruce. That box was meant for _you_.”

Dread washed over Bruce. “Tiffany, I.. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t mean for him to die.”

“It doesn’t matter what you did or didn’t mean.” She snapped back. “You made him work late to work on your tech. You made his work overtake his life. My family still hasn’t recovered- we never will.”

“I didn’t make him do anything! He wanted to help- he wanted Batman to have the best tech to keep Gotham safe!” Bruce replied, feeling his stomach drop. “You.. you really think that I don’t think about him every time I put on the suit? Every time I see you?”

She stepped towards him. “My father _built_ Batman. Under the suit you’re just a rich, entitled brat.”

Bruce shook his head, turning away from her. “No, no, you don’t mean that, you’re just upset-”

“I’m a killer because of you!”

He turned back to her, but saw someone else in her place.

“Harvey?”

“Bruce Wayne. The man sleeping with every girl in town, the man whose number no one ever ‘lost’.” Harvey looked around them. “I suppose you haven’t been doing much sleeping at all, now have you? I doubt any of those lost hours were because you were up worrying about me.”

“Don’t try to make me feel guilty, too.” Bruce said, his voice starting to shake. “I figured you were getting the best treatment you could- I mean, you were able to get out of Arkham.”

“Eventually.” He replied. “But for those first few months.. him and I.. all we were thinking about was if you’d come to visit.”

“I know you didn’t want me to visit.” Bruce said. “Not after everything-”

“You mean after you betrayed me? Lied to me? Slept with Selina behind my back?” Two-Face replied, his voice rising.

“I didn’t sleep with her!” Bruce said. “I was hurt and she helped me, that’s all! I wouldn’t do that to you! We- we were friends. I wanted you to be mayor. Not Two-Face, but you! Harvey Dent!”

“Harvey is _gone_!” He stepped towards him. “I was your only real friend, Bruce. Your family abandoned you, and that sad excuse of a boyfriend is one bad day away from going on another murder spree!”

“It’s not..” Bruce’s shoulders fell. “He can't help it, he's ill and needs help-”

“You're only saying that because you know him killing was _your_ fault. His breaking was due to _your_ influence.” Two-Face replied. “Admit it, it’s your fault, Joker exists because of you!”

Bruce shook his head, trying to clear his head of thoughts. “No, no. We're friends, we're together, I'm going to _help_ him-”

“Help?!” Two-Face spread his arms wide. “You help?! When you do ever help? You think you help Gotham? Beating up criminals is no better than being one! Batman has brought so much destruction to this city! Lady Arkham, Penguin, the Children of Arkham, me, Joker, The Agency! Lives lost because of you! Families torn apart because of you!”

Bruce dropped his gaze, his heart rate rising. “I.. I was just trying to save people… I just want to save people. I don’t need to be lectured by you.”

He turned, only to be greeted by another man. “A-Alfred?”

The older man stood a few feet away, looking Bruce up and down. “Well, Master Bruce, you’ve certainly made a whole mess of things, haven’t you?”

Bruce took a shaky breath, beginning to feel overwhelmed. “Al, why.. why are you here? Why would you even say that?”

“Scarecrow. He’s going to kill all of those people that you claim to protect.” Alfred looked over the roof for a moment. “I raised you to be strong young man, Bruce, but all I got was a failure.”

Bruce slipped off his cowl, holding it in his hands. He blinked, his eyes blurring with tears. “I.. I’m just doing my best.. All I ever tried to do was my best…”

“Well, your best wasn’t enough.” Alfred shot back, his voice raising slightly. “You’ve been running away from everything for your whole life, and now it’s catching up to you.”

A drop of something hit Bruce’s cowl, and he knew it wasn’t rain. He looked back over to Alfred. “I’m.. I’m sorry. I.. everything I did.. It all ended in failure, didn’t it? I couldn’t save Harvey. Or Tiffany. Or John. I broke promises... I broke promises I made to you.”

He blinked, feeling warmth against his cheeks. “I couldn’t save everyone.. Not even myself. You were right. The.. the darkness you saw in me.. it was always there, wasn’t it? It.. it consumed me, like it consumed my father.”

“Yes, Bruce.” Alfred stepped towards him. “It will drive away everything and everyone you care about and you will die alone, face-down in some god-forsaken alley.”

Bruce knees gave out and he dropped to the roof with a soft thud from his armor. He stared down at the cowl in his hands, breathing shakily.

He was alone. He was a failure. He should’ve died in that alley, or he should’ve taken his mother’s place. He had destroyed Gotham. All of its greatest threats were created because of him.

He was so tired. He closed his eyes for a moment. He could just lay down on the roof. He could just lay down for forever and never wake up-

“Buddy!”

His eyes opened, and he pulled away from the figure next to him. “J-John, no, no I don’t- I don’t need to hear from you, too..”

“Whoa, there!” John put up his hands in surrender. “You’re not looking all that great, Bruce! I mean, you always look attractive, but I mean, you’re crying!” He reached up and wiped Bruce’s cheeks before he could move away.

“I.. why are you here?” Bruce asked, looking over to him. “I.. I failed you. I failed you so many times..”

John huffed, frowning slightly. “Bruce Wayne. I swear, a building could be on fire and you’d feel guilty about not stopping the arsonist even if you were halfway around the world. You know what most people would’ve done if they found me? Thrown me to the cops or left me in Arkham to rot. You know what you did? You stayed. You kept your promise to me and are helping me now.”

“You snapped because of me.. I lost Harvey.. Tiffany killed because of me..”

“Nuh-uh!” John cut in. “I snapped because of a preexisting condition for a disorder that I can’t control. Harvey snapped because he was troubled for years and after seeing those people get shot he had PTSD. Tiffany killed because her dad died from _Riddler’s_ device.”

“I should’ve seen the signs with Harvey.. I shouldn’t have put Lucius in harm’s way… I should’ve seen the signs with you..”

John grabbed his shoulders, shaking him gently. “Hey, hey! No, no, no! Don’t put all that on you!”

Bruce looked over to John. “What… what do I do?”

“Bruce, why do you think you’re here on this rooftop?”

He looked across it, replying after a few seconds. “I… was fighting Scarecrow.”

John nodded. “Right! And what do you remember before waking up here?”

A few more seconds of silence. “He… he released some gas on the city… but he also released some gas on me. I.. I collapsed.”

“Good, good! So, and think logically, because I know that you can, how could Tiffany, Harvey, and Alfred all just appear up here then disappear? How could Harvey be out of prison? How could Alfred be back in Gotham already?”

Realization dawned on Bruce. “They.. they can’t. None of that could happen.”

John grinned at him. “Bingo! Ha, and you say you’re not smart!”

“So.. this is the Fear Toxin affecting me? I’m just.. Seeing this. It’s not real.”

“Remember, the Fear Toxin apparently shows the victim’s greatest fears. We don’t know how far that quite goes, but I expect that you don’t really fear anything physical, Bruce.”

“So.. the Fear Toxin is showing me my greatest fear… not an object.. But an idea. A concept.” Bruce shook his head. “So.. am I dying? Am I losing my mind?”

“If you stay in here for too long, or if you lay down on the roof and sleep, yeah, I think you will.” John replied. “But.. I’m not one of your fears. I’m the part of your brain that’s fighting. The logical part that knows that this isn’t real. The part that knows that you’re still laying on that rooftop with Scarecrow.”

Bruce blinked. “The roof.. Scarecrow opened one of the canisters and I tried to stop him.. That’s when he turned one on me… Can.. can I even get out of this?”

“I hope so! Or else the real me is gonna be really pissed!” John grinned at him again. “Hope to see you on the other side, Brucie!”

Bruce slipped his cowl back on. He looked across the roof again. After a moment, he laid down.

Maybe some of the things said were true. Maybe he did play a part in losing Harvey and John. But he still had to believe the good outweighed the bad. It _did_. If he stayed here, Gotham could possibly be destroyed. He couldn’t let his fears control him- he had to get back to the roof with Scarecrow.

He was a man. He couldn’t carry the weight of the world. He couldn’t do it alone. He was Bruce Wayne, but he was also _Batman_. He closed his eyes, then opened them again.

It was night. Rain was hitting his armor. He was on his side on the roof.

He managed to sit up, slowly starting to hear voices over his comms, people saying his name. He spoke, glancing over the rooftop at Scarecrow. “Tiffany, how’s the situation down there?”

He stood up, blinking until his vision cleared. “Bruce! Oh my god what happened to you? You were silent for-”

“Later. How’s the situation? Can you get up here?”

“I don’t even know how the gas works, it’s travelling across the ground mostly. They’ve started to evacuate but-”

Bruce looked over the roof, seeing Scarecrow. He was moving another canister to another place on the roof. Bruce pulled out his grapple gun and shot it, grabbing on to one of Scarecrow’s arms and pulling it off the canister.

He looked over to him. “You?!”

Bruce grappled to the canister itself before Scarecrow could react, landing next to him and punching him square in the jaw. There was something bulky on Scarecrow’s face, and Bruce guessed it was a gas mask.

He pressed his comms again. “How long will it take you?”

“I’m going back to the office building now! I’m a couple blocks away!”

Scarecrow threw a punch at Bruce, missing. “Stand down, it’s over, Scarecrow!” Bruce yelled at him.

The scientist only laughed at him. “Over? Oh, Batman, your detective skills have seriously dulled during your break!” He pulled something small out of his pocket. “I see one officer, and this device goes off!”

Bruce heard dulled yelling come from somewhere on the roof. “Batman, officers are in the stairwell trying to get up to the roof.” He heard Iman say.

Bruce pressed his comms, recognizing the device. “GCPD, stand down! Scarecrow has a detonator, stand down!”

After a moment the yelling stopped, and Bruce heard a new voice on the line. “Batman, I can’t get officers up to you unless they go through that door.”

“He said he’ll set off the detonator if he sees one cop. I can't risk that.” Bruce was sure that Crane was smirking under that mask.

“God, please tell me you have some sort of plan.”

As if on cue, something slammed into Scarecrow. He hit the roof with the object on top of him, letting go of the detonator and sending it sliding across the roof.

What hit him wasn't exactly a thing or an object, rather a person. Tiffany pressed him against the roof as he began to struggle. Bruce retrieved the remote, opening up the back. He looked over to Tiffany.

“Black, red, blue wires. One of each.”

She didn't take her eyes off of Scarecrow. “Blue, then black, then red. Won't set off the bombs and will deactivate the remote.”

He ripped each wire in turn, and Crane let out a yell. “Who even _is_ this?!”

“Who, my partner?” Bruce asked, glancing up at the two of them.

Tiffany beamed, then looked back down at Crane. “The name’s-”

He suddenly reached behind himself and grabbed a pistol. Tiffany got off of him, and Bruce put himself between her and Crane. “I _really_ was hoping I wouldn’t have to resort to such violence, Batman!”

Bruce turned and put up his cape, covering Tiffany and himself. During the gunfire, Bruce got on his comms again. “Gordon, we’ve gotten rid of the detonator, your people can come through!”

Scarecrow fired six shots, and louding banging was coming from the stairwell. Tiffany glanced at Bruce, then ran over to it. She yelled something to the cops and placed an object on the door. Bruce turned back to Scarecrow and heard a soft bang, then shouting.

“It’s over! Come quietly, Crane!” Bruce shouted.

He heard the cops draw their weapons, lining up next to him. “GCPD, put your hands behind your head!”

Scarecrow looked over all of them, then looked at one of his canisters. “I.. still won’t ever really know what this does to the mind unless… unless I test it on myself..”

Bruce ran forward. “Scarecrow, _no_!”

The scientist opened a canister, making Bruce step back a few feet. Crane directly inhaled the gas, falling to the ground. After a moment, he began screaming.

Bruce looked from the canister to Crane. He approached the canister from the opposite direction that the gas was letting out at and managed to close the valve without inhaling any.

He walked back to the line of cops, over to Tiffany. “Let’s… we’ve done all we can.” He said. She looked over at Scarecrow.

“Will he..”

“Whatever.. Whatever happens now is out of our hands.” Bruce replied. “He brought it upon himself.”

She nodded, and the two walked to the other edge of the roof. They jumped, heading off towards where they’d left the Batmobile.

***

“...Batman was able to stop Crane with the help of another vigilante. We still have yet to confirm their name, but they have been seen around the city in Batman’s absence. It has only been 12 hours.. But we regret to inform you all that there are already 100 confirmed deaths due to Crane’s chemical weapon being unleashed. Experts at the GCPD are already-”

John grabbed the TV remote and turned it off, turning the screen black. He leaned against Bruce, burying his face into his shoulder.

It was the next morning. When Bruce and Tiffany had returned the previous night, John practically was sticking to Bruce like glue, refusing to let him go. He was babbling on about how worried he was when Bruce hadn’t said anything, and Bruce had to explain he’d been hit with the Fear Toxin.

Bruce glanced down at him. “Are you ok?”

“I feel bad.” He frowned. “When you were radio silent last night I really started to freak out. You owe Iman big time for making her stick around to babysit me.”

“It wasn’t babysitting, but I’m sure she’ll think of something.” Bruce replied.

John glanced at the door, then back at Bruce. “What did you see? When you were hit with the Fear Toxin?”

“It was.. Harvey was there. So was Tiffany, and Alfred. They were all pointing out things that I’ve been worried about. Things that make me feel guilty.”

John tilted his head. “So how’d you get out of it?”

Bruce looked at the TV, then at John. “You, actually. Or.. a part of my brain manifested a version of you that made me remember that I’d been drugged and that what was happening wasn’t real and that I needed to wake up to save the city.”

John raised his eyebrows. “Wow. You’re.. Probably the only person who’s survived the toxin.”

Bruce sighed. “I honestly thought I was going to die. I was ready to just give up.” He shook his head. “But I couldn’t die. Not when I had to take care of you. Not when Gotham still needed saving.”

John kissed his cheek. “You and Tiffany killed it, Bruce! You guys totally saved the day!”

“I’m.. still going to hang up the cowl for now, though.” Bruce said, and pang of sadness hit him when John’s smile disappeared. “I know, I know. But Tiffany can take care of the city.”

“And Alfred’s one argument away from kicking your ass?” John’s attempt at a joke made some of that sadness go away, but only for a moment.

“He’s… when he gets back I think he’ll be ready to take a life-long vacation.” Bruce sighed softly. “I.. I’m not really sure how I’ll handle that. But I have to let him go eventually.”

John’s grin returned. “How about.. How about you take a moment to yourself. The investigation is over. Crane is away. We have six days left to eat all of the ice cream in Gotham.”

Bruce actually gave him a small smile, chuckling softly. “Ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Oh, great.”

“Bruce, we could both afford to gain a couple pounds and nothing terrible would come from it!” John grinned, gesturing to his own figure.

Bruce shook his head, holding his arms out. “Come on.”

John snuggled against him again, and Bruce pulled them close. After sitting in silence for a minute, John turned to Bruce, reaching up and tapping his cheek. Bruce got the hint, and after a second they were pressing their lips together.

Bruce knew that the next few days would be fine. They’d stopped Scarecrow and the city was as safe as it could be. He didn’t know what would happen after the next six days were up, but he did know that if he was with John, he’d be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first: don't worry, an epilogue will be coming soon! Hopefully next Sunday, or even earlier depending on how I'm feeling! I felt like I kinda wrapped this one up short, but the epilogue will be the 'true' ending I guess.   
> Ok, wow. Any of you reading this: whether you've been here day 1, day 10, chapter 7, or even this chapter, thank you so much for reading! If you gave kudos, thank you!! If you commented, thank you!!! Comments especially helped and motivated me!   
> I'm pretty proud with how this whole thing actually turned out. As some of you know, this was originally just a one-shot, then I added another chapter, and then I kinda got an entire idea for season 3 and it blew up into this. Most of it I was honestly just making up as I wrote it. I knew that I wanted Bruce to get hit by the toxin at some point, and I knew I wanted to reveal John's past as well. Pretty much 95% of this story wasn't actually set and I was just making it up as I went along.   
> Now that this bad boy is done and I've just got the epilogue, I'll be writing more one-shots and smaller stories again. I plan on writing a Halloween and a Christmas special for these two dorks. I've said it a couple times before but I'll say it again: If anyone has an idea/request/scene you want me to write, I'm open to requests, especially now that this won't be taking up much more of my writing time!   
> Also, I honestly considered making this explicit and having John and Bruce do some.. things together, but I decided against it. Maybe they'll bang in my Christmas special, idk.   
> I also started watching Gotham (FINALLY)!!! I'm not far into it at all, but I'm sure I'll be writing stuff for it by the end of the year. If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it. I was hooked after episode 1 for sure lol.   
> But yeah, that's really all I had to say! Thanks so much, you guys! Everyone who supported this story, thank you!!! <3 Expect the epilogue next week (hopefully) and more content coming soon!


	11. Epilogue AKA The True Ending

A few days later…

“You know, I don't remember the last time I actually went out and got ice cream.”

John stared at Bruce over his own sundae. “Bruce, you've had all these years to eat ice cream and you haven't taken advantage of them? Yeesh, no wonder you're so mopey all the time!”

The ravenette cracked a small smile, putting more of the cappuccino crunch into his mouth. “Maybe. I'm just bad at slowing down and enjoying things, I guess.”

Suddenly the TV in the small ice cream shop they were in was turned up, and Bruce couldn't help but listen in.

“...Officials at the hospital upstate are confirming that Jonathan Crane has gone through a severely traumatic event.” Jack Ryder was on, reporting as usual. “Experts are still trying to figure out what exactly his toxin was made of, and will be properly disposing of it soon. It appears, for now, that Batman has gone back underground. However, now that it has been nearly confirmed that the two have worked together at some point, his apparent associate, Batgirl, has been seen on rooftops for the past few nights. Everyone here at Gotham City News would like to thank Batman and Batgirl for cooperating with the GCPD and saving our city.”

John grinned after a moment. “Batgirl! I like it! You think she's Batman’s daughter or something, Bruce?”

Bruce put another spoonful into his mouth. “I don't know. I don't suppose he told you anything about his personal life while you two worked together on the field.”

John’s grin widened, and Bruce could tell that he was having a tough time keeping up the act. “Ha, nope! All business and no fun! I didn't even get an autograph! Or a kiss! Not even a peck on the cheek!”

Bruce covered his mouth with the back of his hand, hiding his own smile. “Sorry, John. Maybe he just didn't like you like that.”

John waved his hand. “Pshh, whatever. I got you in the end, so it doesn't matter. Bats is great, but he's not like you.”

Bruce glanced down at his ice cream before looking back to John. “Yeah, I guess he isn't.”

***

John glanced between Joan and Bruce, grinning slightly.

Joan nodded at the two of them. “Hello, John, Bruce. Anything eventful happen during the week that I should know about?”

“He was great, Joan. No problems at all.” Bruce said, giving her a soft smile.

“Oh, Dr. Leland did you see Batman’s showdown with that Scarecrow guy?” John piped up, grinning wider. “It was good to see him save the city again!”

Joan sighed softly. “Yes.. it was a bit of a shock to find out that it was Jonathan Crane of all people. I can’t imagine what drives someone to do something so terrible- to create something so awful. After swearing to protect human lives, only to use science to destroy them..”

She looked back up at the two and cleared her throat. “My apologies, gentlemen. I didn’t mean to ramble.”

Bruce shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I can’t imagine it, either.”

Dr. Leland turned to John. “I found a place for you about two hours outside of the city. I’ll allow for Bruce to take you there if he wants to. It’s… trust me John, that place is far better than Arkham could ever even hope to be.”

John’s face went from a mix of terror, to happiness, to confusion. “You’re… you’re coming with me, right?”

She gave him a sad smile. “My superiors have been considering this for a while.. I’ve been assigned to go to Black Gate and evaluate inmates there. John… I’m no longer your primary doctor.”

John raised his eyebrows, then looked from her to Bruce. His bottom lip trembled. “S-so.. I probably will never see you again? A-and Bruce will be a couple hours away? And I’ll be in a new hospital? And I won’t know anyone?”

She put up her hands. “John, John. It’s alright. As I said before, it’s a much better place than Arkham, I’m so relieved they decided to take you. You won’t be locked up in a cell for hours. They’ll… they’ll actually take care of you there.”

He lowered his gaze, and Bruce began to worry that he would lash out, or have a breakdown from the news. Instead, he raised his head, looking back at the two of them. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “W-wow, Doc. I hope those guys at Black Gate don’t cause you too much trouble. And… I hope you’ll get paid better there.”

She gave him a smile, and Bruce relaxed. “Thank you, John. And between the three of us- I’ll be getting paid more than I was at Arkham.”

Leland gave Bruce the name of the new hospital. He thanked her and shook her hand. John hugged her, grinning widely. “A new chapter in my life! A new chapter in your life!”

She hugged him back. “You’ll always be my patient, John. I hope someday soon I’ll see you around the city with Bruce.”

He saluted her. “Yes, ma’am!”

“And Bruce..” She looked over at the taller of the two men. “..you’ll always be my patient, too, you know. I still cannot stress to you enough- getting help, talking to someone, it’s the first step to a true recovery. I know you’ve managed all these years, but managing is different from full recovery.”

Bruce gave her a nod. “I’ll remember that, Joan. Thank you.”

John gave her another wave and the two men walked out together. John let out a soft sigh once they exited the hospital. Bruce looked over at him. “You ok?”

John shrugged after a moment. “I don’t know. I’ll have to explain my amnesia to another doctor… and the place is two hours away..”

Bruce rubbed his back. “You can tell the new doctor whatever you feel comfortable telling them. And I’m not going to leave you there until you’re ready, alright? I won’t stop visiting you, either.”

The other man nodded. “I’m just worried about… about what we found out.. The past few days I pushed it aside, I just wanted to hang out with you and not worry about anything. It’s..” He let out a soft laugh. “I haven’t even seen the place and I’m already nervous!”

Bruce pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his middle. John wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and they stood like that for a few seconds, right outside the hospital in the cool weather that came with fall in Gotham.

Bruce pulled away when he felt like people were staring at them. They could hug again at the new hospital. “Are you ready to head out?”

John nodded after a moment. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

***

“Oh, this place already just _looks_ way nicer!”

Bruce glanced up at the hospital as they pulled into the parking lot. “Well, that’s already a good sign.”

“I mean, it’s white, there’s windows, it looks like a hospital!” John grinned as Bruce pulled into a space.

The lobby was fairly large and well-lit and Bruce walked up to the front desk, squeezing John's hand. The receptionist looked up at the two of them. Her eyes fell upon John, and her eyebrows knit together for a moment.

“What can I help you with today, gentlemen?”

John piped up before Bruce could say anything. “John Doe’s the name! I'm the.. new guy, I guess.”

She typed his name into the computer, smiling gently at the two of them. “Oh, yes, a transfer.” After a few clicks on her computer she began to assemble a stack of papers. She clipped them to a clipboard with a pen and slid it across the counter. “If you could just fill those out, please.”

John looked from the papers, to her, to Bruce, back to her. “Doesn't Arkham have this all on file already?”

“We prefer to start fresh with every patient.” She answered. “And considering what Jonathan Crane pulled, we’re not really sure how accurate those files are.”

“Oh.” He picked up the clipboard, then looked at Bruce again. “They'll be done ASAP!”

John filled out the paperwork in mostly silence, occasionally having to ask Bruce what certain questions meant or what he should put. When he finished filling them out, John stood and put the clipboard on the counter. The receptionist smiled at him, thanking him for filling them out.

She checked them all over, making sure and everything was answered, then nodded. “Did Doctor Leland tell you about your new doctor?”

“Are they nice?” John blurted out. “I've only ever really had Joan. She was.. she was really nice to me. I don't know if anyone can replace her.”

“Don't worry, Joan won't be getting replaced. And Doctor Simmons is very kind and patient- all of our staff members are.” She smiled at him. “I’ll let Doctor Simmons know you’re ready.”

John hesitated, then sat back down, and Bruce picked up the small chuckle that left him. John looked over at him after a moment and took his hand into his own, squeezing.

“Hey, John..” Bruce said softly. “I told you that I wouldn’t leave you until you were ready, and that’s still true.”

“I’m just..” John shook his head. “You know…”

Bruce lowered his gaze for a moment before looking back to John. “It’s a big change, I know.”

They sat there for a few more minutes, people passing the waiting area as they waited. A few families passed with patients, along with a few people who were clearly staff members.

A young woman approached them soon after, giving them a warm smile. Bruce and John stood as she held out her hand. “Mr. Doe and Mr. Wayne?”

Bruce shook her hand and John grinned. “That’s us!” He shook her hand and she let out a soft laugh.

“Good, good. I..” She glanced between the two of them. “If either of you have any questions at any time, please let me know. This place is.. This place is very different from Arkham.”

Bruce nodded, but he suddenly felt uneasy. He could’ve sworn he knew her from somewhere. She had slightly curly brown hair that was up in a ponytail. She motioned for them to follow her, and just as he was about to say something, John piped up.

“Er, Doc, I don't mean to be rude..” John glanced at Bruce, scratching the back of his head. “But have we met before?”

Simmons turned around, walking backwards. “I don't think so. I've never been to Arkham, and I only visit Gotham a few times a year.”

“Do you.. have family members in the medical field?” Bruce asked cautiously.

“Oh, my parents are both retired now… but my sister went into medicine!” Simmons grinned. “She's about 10 years older than me, but we still keep in contact. She's in Norway studying and trying to develop a cure for cancer.”

She turned back around and John let out another nervous chuckle, glancing over at Bruce. “I bet you don't see her much, then!”

“No, usually only once a year at Christmas. When she was first working over there she couldn't get the time off to stay for more than a couple days so she decided the trip wasn't worth it. It's worked out now, though.”

“That’s good to hear.” Bruce looked over at John, and they silently agreed on one thing: _she doesn't know._

Simmons led them on a tour of the hall where John would be staying. The hallways in the hospital were wide and brightly lit, and everything was _actually_ clean. A few people stopped and stared at John, others waved at Simmons.

They reached a room and Simmons held out her arm. “This is your room. And before you ask, don’t worry. No lock on the door, no bars on the window.”

John stepped in. There was a bed next to a small dresser slid against the wall, with two window bringing light into the room. On the wall with the door there was a small desk and chair. John walked over to the bed and sat down, grinning. “Bruce, I think this is an actual bed!” He bounced on it gently.

Bruce gave him a small smile.

John had grinned throughout the tour, clearly very pleased with the new hospital. When they were finished, they ended up back in the lobby.

“I’ll give you two some time alone.” Simmons said, nodding to the front doors of the hospital. Bruce led John outside, squeezing his hand tightly. They sat down at a bench outside the hospital. The afternoon had worn on a bit, and they could see their breath.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before John spoke. “I’m.. wow. This place is super nice. Like, really nice.”

Bruce looked over at him. “But..?”

John let out a shaky sigh. “For the past week I’ve gotten up with you, eaten ice cream with you, eaten real food with you… and the next time we’ll really be able to do that will be in like a year.. at least.”

“I can take you out when I visit. We can go eat real food at a fancy restaurant. Or a non-fancy restaurant.” John managed a small smile at that. He leaned his head on Bruce’s shoulder.

“It’s just.. being a couple hours away from you.. You won’t visit as much. And I was getting used to being around you all the time..”

His voice broke off at the end and Bruce wrapped an arm around him. “I know, I know. And I wish I could keep you out here for longer, but you need more help, especially after everything with Crane.”

John turned to him and pressed their lips together. Bruce brushed away the tears on John’s cheeks, and when they broke apart John gave him another small smile. “I just.. I’m so hopelessly and stupidly in love with you. I don’t… I don’t feel whole without you around.”

Bruce took John’s hand and locked their pinkies together. “Two threads in the same stitch, bound together, even under strain. Just because we’ll be farther away from each other doesn’t change the fact that it’s true.”

John kissed him again, bringing up his free hand and cupping Bruce’s face. “Love you, Bruce.”

“Love you, John. Ready to head back inside?”

***

Bruce let out a soft sigh, looking up at the large building in front of him.

Months. It had been months.

It almost seemed like nothing had happened in such a little amount of time, but so much had happened.

Alfred had returned after John went back into care after the ‘Scarecrow Incident’ as people called it. It had taken some convincing, but after coming to terms with the fact that Bruce had broken his promise to save millions of lives, Alfred decided he wouldn’t leave.

Tiffany had fully been adopted as Gotham’s new vigilante, and she welcomed it with open arms. Every time she went out, she always ‘reminded’ Bruce that Batgirl and Batman were better off working together, but she never expected him to go out with her.

John quickly adapted to his new living space, and Bruce saw him a couple times every week. He was soon recovering fast, and even though he didn’t tell Simmons everything during their sessions, he told her everything that he felt like he could.

When Christmas came, Bruce made sure to buy John a lot of chocolate and sweets, as well as a purple hoodie. When John had unwrapped the gift he squealed and instantly pulled it on, commenting on how soft it was. John had made Bruce a little round Batman doll, and even made a Batgirl one. “You’d better give this to her!”

They basically visited like nothing was really wrong, like they were just two people in love who only saw each other a few times a week. They didn’t really discuss Batgirl or Batman, especially the latter as the weeks passed. John’s forward outbursts stopped with a change in his medication, but he still always wanted to be close to Bruce.

Bruce had built a hospital. Well, he didn’t build it, but he funded the project. He was finally making his and Harvey’s dream a reality- a real mental health facility for Gotham. He’d named it after his mother. When it was finished in a little less than a year, Bruce couldn’t help but feel somewhat proud of himself.

John was one of the very first patients to be admitted there, transferring from the hospital outside the city. Bruce had also tried his best to keep him in the dark about when it would finish, and John learned about it opening from the news. When Bruce had visited him that day, he jumped into Bruce’s arms and kissed him all over his face. Bruce couldn’t stop the blush that hit his cheeks when he realized just how many people had come over due to John’s commotion.

Not only was John transferred, but the patients who originally came from Gotham were as well, bringing them much closer to their home. Simmons also started to work there as well, as most of her patients took the offer to move locations.

But even that had been a handful of months ago, and now Bruce was standing outside of the Martha Wayne Memorial Hospital, leaning up against his car with his arms folded. Spring was just coming to Gotham. Snow had started to turn into rain, and temperatures were averaging in the 50s again. Bruce let out a soft sigh to himself as he watched the door of the hospital. People were milling in and out- families, patients.

It wasn’t long before a familiar shade of green in the lobby was visible to the outside world. Then, that shade of green was hurtling towards Bruce, and was jumping into his arms. Bruce instinctively brought his arms up, placing them on John’s lower back to make sure he didn’t tip backwards and he clung to Bruce like a koala to a tree.

They kissed messily, John’s arms looping around Bruce’s neck as he pulled himself closer to his love. When they broke apart, John bumped their foreheads together, humming softly. His bright green eyes met Bruce’s cool blue ones, and for a moment they just looked at each other.

“Hey, Bruce.. Do you think there are other universes out there?” John asked, absentmindedly brushing his thumb against Bruce’s face.

Bruce tilted his head slightly. “I haven’t ever really thought about it, why?”

“Well, I guess I just wanted to say that I’m glad that in our universe we got this far. I’m glad we’re together.”

Bruce set John down. “Is that all?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “Er… and we like… really love each other, right? You think that spans across different universes?”

Bruce glanced at him, then the ground, then back at him. “I never really thought about it. I always just figured that, well, this is our universe, and we can’t really change it.”

“Yeah, but do you think that in other universes we like.. We met differently? Or we’re married? Or we’re…” John’s excitement trailed off. “..enemies?”

Bruce raised his eyebrows. “Well, if the circumstances of who we are makes us enemies, then we can’t change that. That’s just how that universe works.”

“Yeah, but maybe in the universes where we’re together… it cancels out the bad ones where we’re not?”

The taller man simply shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know if it works that way. Or if there are even other universes out there.”

John nodded after a moment. “Yeah… guess we won’t know unless an interdimensional portal pops up and we step through!”

A small smile crossed Bruce’s face. “..You ready to head home, John?”

John kissed him again, and when he pulled back someone a few feet away spoke. “I.. hope I’m not interrupting?”

Bruce blinked. “Doctor Simmons, oh, no we were just..”

She let out a soft giggle. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you two uncomfortable. I just wanted to make sure John found you alright and he’s sure he’s ready to leave.”

John nodded. “Wouldn’t miss him for the world, Doc! And yes, I’m very ready to leave.”

Simmons nodded and held out her hand. John shook it, grinning. He also hugged her. “Don’t forget me! Please?”

He pulled out of it and she shook her head. “John, you go take care of yourself, alright? And you can go and change your name, you know.”

John shrugged after a moment. “For a long time I didn’t think it fit- even when I got out of Arkham for the first time I wasn’t sure if it did, but now..” He grinned. “..now I know it fits me. I can’t imagine being called anything else.”

Bruce shook Simmons’s hand, thanking her. She gave him a nod, wished them a good rest of their day, reminded John of his next therapy session in a few days, and went back into the hospital.

John plopped down into the passenger’s seat of Bruce’s car, his bag with all of his belongings in his lap. He tapped Bruce’s shoulder when he sat down, then pecked his cheek, grinning.

“Alright, what’s our first order of business?” Bruce asked.

“Let’s get burgers!” John’s leg bounced a couple times. He reached over and took Bruce’s hand into his own, then gave it a gentle squeeze.

They were as they had always been: Bruce and John, John and Bruce, B and J, J and B, two sides of the same coin, yin and yang, sun and moon.

Two threads in the same stitch, bound together, even under strain.

THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> A scene of John and Bruce basically having a conversation while not really having one popped into my head and it kinda grew.


End file.
